FORT CARSON, Colo. -- A lot can happen in six months -- babies are born and children mature, people grow and life circumstances change. Learning to come together as a Family again after a deployment can be a challenge.
For two Families, the Detamores and the Pierces, readjusting to life after deployment has been easier than expected.
New baby in the house
When Joel Detamore left for deployment with Forward Support Company, 4th Engineer Battalion, he was a private first class with three children and a pregnant wife. Six months later, he came home as Spc. Joel Detamore, meeting his son, Remington, for the first time at the homecoming ceremony.
"It's almost like nothing really changed, except for a new human being in the house," he said.
Sometimes children have a hard time readjusting to life with the deployed parent, but not Remington, who was born in July.
"He didn't fuss. He took right to me, which was a blessing," Detamore said. "I think being able to Skype and at least hear my voice and see me every once in a while, that helped.
As far as being reintegrated with the kids and with the Family, it's been a really smooth transition."
Three-year-old Cami, a "daddy's girl," was thrilled to have him back.
"She's always been that way. She's much happier now," said Ali Detamore, Joel's wife.
Having the additional help has been a relief to her. For the first several weeks, Joel Detamore changed almost every diaper for the three youngest children.
"I'm trying to do what they told us not to do -- not to make up for the past six months in a couple weeks -- but I'm trying to help out as much as I can before I go back to work," he said.
"Everything is probably like a thousand times easier," she said. "Now that he's home, I want him to help because I was alone for so long. In my head, I was thinking, 'Oh, I'm just going to let him sleep as long (as he wants) every day until he wakes up. I'm going to be a good wife,' but that's not what I wanted to do. I was like, 'OK, get up. Get up and help me.'"
This was the couple's first deployment, and looking back, both agree that it went smoothly.
"Compared to what other people go through, I would say that it was relatively easy," Ali Detamore said.
"I think that when my kids are older, deployment will be exceptionally easy compared to right now."
The hardest thing for her has been learning to split her time and energy.
"I don't know how to divide my time properly between Joel and the kids … because I took care of them, and I feel closer to them," she said.
"I want to go on a date, but then it's like, what are we going to do with the kids? Can we just take the kids?"
One of the biggest challenges for Joel Detamore is learning to deal with children again after six months away.
"The biggest thing I'm having to work on right now is, if I'm in the middle of doing something, not being able to complete it right away because Ali needs me to help with something or the kids need something," he said. "When you're downrange, you have time … to get your work done and no interruptions, really."
For Joel Detamore, the deployment and redeployment were relatively easy, which he credits his leadership with.
"The stress level, at least for me personally, really wasn't too bad," he said. "Luckily, I had really good mentors who've been in for awhile … they were really good at mentoring and saying, 'Hey, this is what we experienced with having kids and a Family.' So, by the time it actually came time to getting home, I was already thinking that way. It was really helpful."
The reality of reintegration hasn't fully settled in yet.
"It's so surreal to me," Ali Detamore said. "I was telling Joel that I don't think it will feel real that you're here to stay until you go to work and come back home for a few days, and I'm like, 'Oh, he's really going to come back home. He's not going to go away.'"
"I just feel more relaxed," she said. "The biggest thing for me is the emotional support. So, that's there. That's good. I can do anything else."
Relating to civilians
Jamie Pierce has been through three of her husband's deployments, but this one, the first with a child, was the easiest one.
"It was easier for me than I thought it was going to be," she said. "I thought it was going to be super hard, having a baby this time, but he kept me company, so it ended up being a lot easier than the ones before. He kept me so busy."
For her husband, it was more difficult, even though it was cut short by a month because of a death in his family.
"(This deployment) was a lot harder actually, I think because of (the baby)," said Sgt. Brad Pierce, FSC, 4th Eng. Bn.
When he left, Triston, who just celebrated his first birthday in December couldn't crawl.
Now he's crawling, walking with a walker, giggling and carrying on conversations in his own language.
"He's more fun these days, more wild," Brad Pierce said.
He hasn't had any problems bonding with Triston since he's been home.
"(Triston) had no problems readjusting. By that night, he had already warmed up to him. Brad was able to put him to sleep that night, and from then on, he's had no issues," Jamie Pierce said.
"I got on his level. I bathed him. I played with him," he said. "When we go places, he's kind of like my security for my reintegration. As long as I have him, I don't care what's around me."
Readjusting to life as a married couple has also been relatively smooth, but it has had a few ups and downs.
"(Triston) and I were in a routine for almost six months, and then when Brad comes back, I forget sometimes I have to ask him, 'Hey, can you do this?' He hasn't been here for that long, so he doesn't know exactly how everything goes," Jamie Pierce said. "He had to kind of learn the routine all over again."
"I try to give her the whole ball still," Brad Pierce said. "I'm like, 'What do you want him to eat? What do you want him to wear?' … it's easier that way. She's been doing it. I'll just help."
While redeployment with the Family has been smooth, he's had challenges interacting with other civilians.
"One thing I've noticed is … he doesn't really want to see a lot of people," Jamie Pierce said. "(When we were home) he didn't want to run into people that he used to go to school with or anything like that. He hated just to go to the grocery store … it's almost like his social skills are different."
It's a change he noticed after his second deployment, and it's continued.
"I don't want to talk to people a lot if I don't know them," he said. "In the Army, you can talk to Army people because you have that in common."
This deployment, his first to Afghanistan, was interesting because he had the opportunity to see more of the country.
"We were outside the wire a lot, running distribution, and we ran Afghan National Army training twice a week," he said. "It was almost better being on the road because you're away from the (monotony) … that was how my last two deployments were, so getting out this time kind of helped me. And I got to see a lot of Afghanistan."
Hearing about his experiences and looking at the pictures, Jamie Pierce is curious.
"I wish I could go there safely … just to see how they live for those months, or be a fly on the wall, just to see what it's like," she said.
To view previous articles in this series, see Part 1 at http://www.army.mil/article/107674/ and Part 2 at http://www.army.mil/article/115505/.
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