Connection Matters: The Lifesaving Skill Anyone Can Learn

Picture this: You’re at the last barbecue of the summer, enjoying a sizzling burger hot off the grill, when your friend starts to choke. Everyone senses the urgency of the situation and watches with concern, but few people can help. They may not know what to do, but you do. By springing into action and administering the Heimlich maneuver, you’re able to save your friend.

Now, let’s think about suicide prevention awareness in the same way. By being well-informed and appropriately trained, we can notice the signs when someone is struggling and be prepared to offer support.

Just as we wouldn’t wait for an emergency to learn a lifesaving technique, we shouldn’t wait for heartbreak to learn ways to prevent suicide.

“Building connections is lifesaving. . .One must know what to look for and respond immediately,” said Dr. Myron C. Byles, a retired Army Chaplain who serves as the Suicide Prevention Program Coordinator at Fort Irwin, California.

In November of last year, the Department of Defense released its Annual Report on Suicide in the Military, highlighting the tragic loss of 279 active-duty, Guard and Reserve Soldiers who died by suicide in 2023. While the report indicated an increase in suicide deaths compared to 2022, it also called attention to the significant impact of simple gestures such as a phone call, video chat or an invitation to social gatherings for those who are struggling.

The 2025 Suicide Prevention Month theme, “We Are Stronger Together. Connect to Protect,” reinforces the fact that staying connected with others is important for mental well-being and resilience in the Army community.

Byles said that simple, consistent and engaging interactions can open the lines of communication and make space for deeper conversations.

“Take the time to check on individuals and go beyond the greetings of the day. Learn their strengths and weaknesses. Understand what motivates people to do what they do, or simply what gives them joy and peace,” he said.

Chief Warrant Officer 3 Anthony Campbell, a Workplace Violence Prevention Consultant and certified Mental Health First-Aid Trainer, said that trust and vulnerability also play an integral role in building meaningful connections.

“I believe the key to (connection) is how relatable we are. Do we really listen to our peers, or are we thinking of what we want to say and waiting to say it? Even service members want to be listened to if they trust me enough to open up to me,” he said. Campbell encourages individuals to be present and listen when someone is speaking about their experiences or feelings, instead of rushing to offer guidance or feedback.

“It can ruin that (connection) with the individual by being too ‘advice-driven,’ rather than helping someone work through their own challenges by walking the walk with them…often we just need to talk it through,” he said.

Leaders can build stronger relationships with the Soldiers they lead by making them feel like they belong. Campbell explained that many Soldiers want to be recognized for their contributions and want to be empowered to fulfill their role as a part of a team.

“Not a parade and award (is needed) for every achievement, but a, ‘Thanks, we could not have done that without you.’ A simple 'Thanks' goes a long way from the right person,” he said.

So how do you start a conversation with someone if you’re concerned about them? In the "Ask" suicide prevention rap video, Staff Sgt. Nicholas Feemster, Ask, Care, Escort-Suicide Intervention Trainer shares three tips for approaching someone you care about.

• Know their “baseline” or typical behaviors. Share that you’ve noticed a shift or difference in them.
• Mention one of their interests or protective factors and offer to engage in that activity.
• Ask them directly if they’ve ever thought about suicide.

Also, Feemster said that while asking about suicide might be tough, we shouldn’t be deterred.

“We often think that if we ask about suicide, it suggests the idea to someone. Research says this is not true and that asking can actually reduce that chance that suicide happens,” he explains in the video.

Validating someone’s experiences can make a big difference. There are studies supporting the psychological health benefits of accepting negative emotions and thoughts.

“I normalize having bad days,” Byles said.

To further support the Army community, DPRR has created print and digital Suicide Prevention Month materials, which are now available on the DPRR Products on Demand website. The “Connection Matters” fact sheet explains that connecting with someone involves recognizing signs of distress early, asking intentional questions, being present with your time and opening up about shared experiences.

Beyond taking the time to learn about and communicate with your teammates and Family members, you can also have information on hand in case they want to seek help. They can contact the Military Crisis Line by dialing 988 and pressing 1 or by texting 838255. You can also save the numbers for your installation chaplain and local Behavioral Health office in your cell phone. If they are nervous or don’t want to do it alone, you can offer to help them make the phone call or go with them.

DPRR also released five suicide prevention awareness podcast episodes aimed at fostering conversations and enhancing resilience among Soldiers, Army Civilians and their Families. Topics include holistic wellness, exploring the interplay of mind, body and spirit; lethal-means safety, offering practical safety steps; invisible wounds, addressing unseen mental-health struggles; and financial readiness, highlighting the impact of money stress. By addressing these important topics, the podcast intends to empower listeners to not only connect with one another but to take proactive steps toward protecting their emotional health. During the SPM podcast series's introductory recording, Renee Johnson, HQDA Suicide Prevention and Response Program Manager, said, “Mental health is health.”

“We go to the doctor when we get sick, and we want our Soldiers to know that they can and should utilize their helping medical resources when challenged by less-visible struggles.”

“Whether you’re a leader or a Program Manager, an Army spouse or simply someone who cares, these conversations and resources are for you,” she said.

Connection is a lifesaving skill, and like many other skills, it can be learned and strengthened through practice. Whether it’s at work, hanging out with your Family or engaging with friends, taking the time to connect socially can protect your resilience and mental well-being while building stronger bonds with those you care about.

“I believe that social connections truly help individuals cope with their challenges, and if received positively, they are more apt to (bounce) forward from their difficult situation,” said Col. Kevin Goke, the Deputy for Resilience, HQDA G-1, DPRR.

Although Suicide Prevention Month serves as an important time for Soldiers, Army Civilians and their Families to engage in open conversations about mental health and strengthening support systems, it’s important to remember that you don't need to have the perfect words; simply being present for someone in need can make a difference.