It's a happy moment, hugging a spouse or loved one for the first time in several months, but what happens when they step foot in their home?

For many, reintegration has been on the mind for some time. However, that homecoming may not be the fairy tale dreamt of for the last several months.

"One of the things that I always try to emphasize is expectations," said Chaplain David Stoner, Headquarters Fort Riley Army Garrison. "The expectations have got to be known, and they have to be realistic. In a sense of, if you're coming home and you think you're going to step back into the roles, or that he or she is going to be waiting there with a big bouquet of flowers and great stuff is going to happen, you might be setting yourself up for failure."

Chaplain Stoner said many soldiers are eager to jump right back into the roles they previously held before deployment. He said parents are especially eager to jump into the disciplinary role, which can make the relationship awkward.

Stoner said the key to reintegration for the soldiers is for them to ease back into their roles. Family members can help the soldiers ease back into their roles by evaluating their expectations of reintegration.

"Biggest thing is, don't think that just because they're back that they're going to be around all of the time," Stoner said. "There's going to be a lot of requirements for the unit. There's a lot of meetings, things they have to get turned in. Too often people get pretty upset, they say 'you're back, I thought I was going to get to see my spouse.' It's one of the biggest arguments so be prepared for a busy schedule."

For those anxiously awaiting the arrival of loved ones, there are resources spouses can to help the reintegration process get before their loved one arrives.. One of those resources is the Resilient Spouse Academy, a four day course that covers tools for reintegration, including: financial success, master resiliency training and suicide prevention.

One program included with Resilient Spouse Academy is ASIST, Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training. The course highlights how to identify people at risk for suicide and how to approach them.

"The overall goal is to reduce the stigma that we're still fighting, and to hopefully prevent suicide," said Larry D. Wesley Jr., ASIST Trainer. "It's a shared community issue, it's not just with the doctors or the nurses or the military police it's a shared thing."

Octavia Lyerly, Resilient Spouse Academy participant, said the most important thing she learned was from the ASIST program. She said the lessons of clues to look for in a suicidal person is important to her because she has dealt with suicide issues through her previous job and some family.

Lyerly said the program taught her that even though someone may act as if everything is ok, looks can be deceiving.

"I think a lot of times people associate happiness with everything being ok, and sometimes people may be putting their best face forward," Lyerly said. "They may not necessarily be as happy as you think so you need to pay attention to that too. Is the person overly happy or has their mood changed over time. Each person is different so you never know how a person is going to react to a traumatic experience."

Both Wesley and Stoner said if someone feels they need to talk, they can seek assistance through the unit or division chaplain office, behavioral health or the military and family life consultants at 785-239-9435.