Upcoming retreats focus on helping Black Jack Soldiers reconnect with spouses

By Sgt. Robert Yde, 2nd BCT, 1st Cav. Div. Public AffairsMarch 4, 2008

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FORT HOOD, Texas - It has been said that absence makes the heart grow fonder, however most therapists and counselors would tell you that communication is the key to a happy and long lasting relationship.

Having recently returned from their 15-month deployment to Baghdad, Soldiers from the 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division have had ample opportunity to test this first premise, but according to the brigade's Chaplain, Maj. Timothy Walls, now that the Black Jack Soldiers are home they need to focus on the latter.

"It seems like the easiest thing to be able to do is to talk, but we have found that when it comes to marital issues, probably 90 to 95 percent of those issues relate to this area of communication," Walls explained. "Anybody that's been married for any length of time realizes that communication is a difficult thing and you have to really work at it."

In order to help Soldiers better understand not only how important constant communication is, but also how to do so effectively, Walls and the brigade's other chaplains will be hosting two upcoming retreats open to any Black Jack Soldier and his or her spouse.

The first will be held at Tyson's Corner Retreat Facility in Lampasas, Texas March 7-9 and the second will be at the Clarion Inn in Waco, Texas March 28-30.

"The primary theme of the retreats will be the five love languages on how to communicate to our families," Walls said.

According to Walls, the theory of love languages was put forth by Dr. Gary Chapman, and it follows the idea that everyone has a certain type of love language and in order to effectively communicate with your spouse you must first understand his or her love language.

"He basically talks about five areas or ways that people tend to gravitate toward when they're communicating love," Walls explained. "One of them is through physical touch. Some people like to hold hands and cuddle and that communicates love to them.

"Other people like to receive special types of things or gifts that say you've taken the time to pick out something special and that communicates to me that you love me through this little act of giving."

Walls said that through a series of team building activities, such as equine assisted therapy, which will be part of the seminar in Lampasas, Soldiers and their spouses should be able to come away with a good idea of their respective love language.

Working together, husband and wife teams will have to catch their horse, halter it, and then have a chance to groom it and lead it around.

"This exercise can reveal, how they operate as a husband and wife - not just in this event, but really at home as well," Walls said. So it's very therapeutic and people who have studied this type of thing have found this exercise very revealing."

Walls said that each seminar will be open to twenty Soldiers and their spouses on a first come, first served basis, and that any member of the Black Jack brigade interested in attending should just contact their unit chaplain for details.

"Now that we're home I would encourage Soldiers to really focus on giving their families quality time," he said. "If nothing else, in a fifteen month deployment, you will learn just how important your family is."