KABUL - Phil and Barb Benge have barely left each other's sides for the past 12 months while they've worked for the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers on the Qalaa House compound.
The husband and wife team from Walla Walla, Wash., live together in a small room at the Qalaa House compound, which is the Corps of Engineers' district headquarters in northern Afghanistan. For months, they served as chairman and chairwoman of the district's source selection boards, working at adjoining desks evaluating contract proposals.
They were practically unseperable until Phil changed job responsibilities in November to become a project manager in the facilities management program, which gives him responsibility for the district's offices and living quarters.
They still spend nearly all of their off-work hours together. They eat together. They shop at a local bazaar together. They walk together for an hour nearly every night.
The family atmosphere abounds within the district. The Benges are just one of at least six family groups within the ranks of the Afghanistan Engineer District-North.
There's also the husband-and-wife teams of Bill Bolte and Dani Bolte, who also are from Walla Walla, and Jeremy Stokes and Angie Stokes of Vicksburg, Miss.; plus the mother-and-daughter tandem of Karen Holliday and Katie Holliday, of Houston Lake, Mo.; and the brother-and-brother combo of Harry Pham and Alan Pham, both of Victorville, Calif.
There's another brother-and-brother duo - Joel Giblin of Las Cruces, N.M., and me, Paul Giblin, of Phoenix.
Col. Thomas Magness, the district commander, encourages the family plan for staffing the district. He feels there're tangible benefits to having family members close by when home is so far away.
"Every single person who is deployed over here has a longing to be back home and to be with family. Those that are able to bring their families over here, I think that gives them that comfort, that confidence, that probably translates into what they're doing on the job," he said.
That's certainly true.
For the Benges, Phil, 60, and Barb, 58, had worked together within the Corps of Engineers for 30 years, but their jobs and family responsibilities frequently took them in different directions. When one flew out of state for an assignment or a conference, the other stayed home with their children.
"We could never go to the same places," Phil said. "We decided, OK, the kids are out of the house. This is an opportunity for us to stick together while we're working - and to travel together."
Both applied for positions in Afghanistan, and both were offered jobs, but not simultaneously. They declined their initial offers, opting instead to wait until they received offers at the same time. Eventually, they received concurrent offers and accepted. They arrived in theater in December 2009.
Despite Phil's job change, they're still very much a family act. Barb said they have a strong relationship and have enjoyed the nearly 24/7 closeness. "We live in a very small room, about the size that would fit a car. It's very tight and cozy. He takes up most of the room," she joked.
"There could be different opinions," Phil countered.
They've used Afghanistan as a launching point for leaves to South Africa, to Spain and Italy, and to Switzerland, France and Italy. The family deployment strategy worked so well, they extended their initial year-long tour in Afghanistan by six months.
Afghanistan has turned into a second honeymoon for the Boltes. OK, maybe not exactly a honeymoon trip, but they're newlyweds and they're in a foreign location.
Dani had done a tour in Iraq a few years before they were married in June 2008, and they had discussed the idea of doing a tour in Afghanistan together. They committed when a manager in Walla Walla asked for volunteers.
"That was the final push," Bill said. "We're both adventuresome, young, dumb, with no kids. We wanted to see what was going on. A fairly typical story." They arrived in Afghanistan in September 2009. Bill, 32, serves as a cost engineer at the Qalaa House compound in Kabul. Dani, 30, initially worked as a project manager in the Afghanistan National Police program, before accepting a new job in November 2010 as a resident engineer in the city of Kunduz, which is about an hour from Kabul by helicopter.
"We came as a package deal," Bill said. "We both started looking into jobs and we made it known that we were a package deal. We were fortunate that we were able to make that work."
There are obvious advantages to deploying together, he said. For example, identifying a battle buddy and a roommate were easy. They also have been able to share the unique experiences of working in a combat zone. "Your spouse understands exactly what you're going through, because they're going through the same thing," Bill said.
Like the Benges, they've also used Afghanistan as a launching point for a leave to an exotic location, Egypt in their case.
The Stokes, Jeremy 29, and Angie, 30, also are something of a honeymoon. The Corps of Engineers employees been married for just 1A,A1/2 years and they expect their tour will provide memories that will last their entire lives.
They arrived in theater in March for six-month tours. Jeremy, who works as an environmental specialist in Vicksburg, serves as source selection board project manager in Afghanistan. Angie, an information technology contracting specialist in Vicksburg, serves as a construction contracting specialist.
Angie said they were attracted by the adventure of living and working together in a part of the world they never would have seen otherwise. "I guess that sounds kind of cheesy," she said.
Perhaps it is cheesy, but Jeremy happens to agree with her. "It will be a 'Remember when'' kind of deal. 'Remember when we lived in Afghanistan for six months''" he said.
More immediately, the Stokes figure their deployments to Afghanistan will help them achieve their long-term career and financial goals. Specifically, the accelerated rate of work will give them a competitive advantage in the job market, and the accelerated rate of pay will help them buy a piece of Southern paradise.
Afghanistan will stand out on their resumAfAs when they return to the United States. "There's only so many jobs to be had, so many positions, at certain levels," Jeremy said. "When we're competing with four or five other people who have been doing the same thing that we have for five or six years, we've deployed overseas and they haven't."
"We want that edge," Angie said, finishing the thought.
Then there's the matter of Mississippi forestland. They'd like to homestead on a patch of rolling hills dense with oaks, elms, ashes and hickories way down around Vicksburg. "We want our own little spot," Angie said.
For the Stokes, "little" is a relative term. One hundred acres may not be enough. And the thought has occurred to them that if they both extended for a second six-month tour in Afghanistan, they'd earn more than enough money to buy their dream property - in cash.
For the Hollidays, Katie discovered that her mother knew best.
Karen, who declined to give her age, initially came to Afghanistan in June 2009 despite her daughter's objections. Katie, 27, said she was concerned about her mother's safety working in a war zone. "She started telling me about it a year before she came over, and I said, 'No. She's not allowed to go,'" Katie said.
Karen went anyway and after a number of phone calls home, Katie became more comfortable with the idea. In the meantime, Katie finished her master's degree in counseling at the University of Central Missouri. Upon graduation, Karen encouraged her to apply with the Corps of Engineers and join her in Afghanistan.
Katie arrived in Kabul in September 2010 - two months after her mother's tour ended. Karen has since returned for a second tour.
Katie works as the in-processing coordinator, welcoming new arrivals to Afghanistan and assisting them with their paperwork and training. Karen, a seven-year Corps of Engineers employee, serves as an administrative specialist for the Projects and Programs Management Division in Kabul.
The Hollidays live in separate quarters and work in separate buildings on the Qalaa House compound, but they see each other daily. Karen drops by Katie's office every morning, plus they see each other throughout the day and have dinner together most nights. Katie said she wouldn't have it any other way.
"It's like awesome to have your mom here - well, if you're me, it's completely awesome," Katie said. "We laugh a lot. Any time I need a hug, I've got one."
Karen said she's fortunate to be able to spend so much time with her daughter. They spend their off hours together at coffee shops, dining facilities and bazaars at near-by compounds, each showing the other hidden spots she discovered before the other arrived.
The Pham brothers, Harry, 38, and Alan, 42, are roommates and both work as project managers, Harry in the Afghanistan National Army program, and Alan in the Project Management branch.
Harry, a longtime Corps of Engineers employee who's on his third tour in Afghanistan, served as the family recruiter. After his first tour in 2005 and 2006, he enticed both Alan and younger brother Kenny, 33, of Garden Grove, Calif., to consider positions in Afghanistan, completing a triple play of sorts.
Kenny works as a project manager in Herat, which falls under the command of the Afghanistan Engineer District-South. Previously, Alan and Kenny worked as engineers in the private sector.
"They were looking for fast-paced type of work, because they expressed that they were bored with their jobs at home because they were slow. So I said, 'Well, you know, we have a fast pace here. Why don't you try it out and see if you like it''"
They liked it alright. Both Alan and Kenny are on their second tours.
Harry said he knew he could trust his brothers to keep up the family's good name within the Corps of Engineers. Plus, having his brothers around makes Afghanistan seem homier. A couple of days a week, Harry and Alan host a semi-regular group of co-workers in the dining facility for late-night instant noodle soup snacks. "It's just like when we were kids. We always lived together. It's just like home," Harry said.
For Joel and me, my brother was the instigator.
Joel, 48, is a longtime Army employee who did a tour in early 2009 as a project manager with the Afghanistan National Police program. During a leave back to the United States, he and I sat poolside in Tucson, Ariz., as he told me about his adventures in Afghanistan. I was intrigued. He suggested I fill out an application for a public affairs position.
I'm 47 and had worked as a newspaper reporter and columnist for 25 years. I always felt that one of the best ways to defend American ideals - such as the freedoms of press, speech and assembly - simply was to use them. I did, and frequently enough, to the distress of unethical and unlawful government officials. (There's a high-profile sheriff in Arizona who's under several federal investigations, in part for topics I reported.)
I figured working for the Army in a war zone would provide the same type of fulfillment, but from a wildly different perspective. I was right on that count. Initially, my biggest concern was the possibility of somehow tarnishing Joel's reputation within the government. I always had the option of switching back to the private sector, but his career is entrenched firmly in the government sector.
As it turned out, Joel's tour in Afghanistan ended before mine started late last year. Still, I worked hard as much for his sake as for my own. Six months later, Joel came back for a second tour, this time as a project manager with the Joint Program Integration Office.
He moved into my housing unit. By that time, I felt well established. I was pleased, in fact, when several people asked me if the new guy with the GIBLIN name strip on his uniform was related to me - rather than the other way around.
The most brotherly moment so far came in September when we both traveled aboard the same military airplane to the city of Mazar-e-Sharif in northern Afghanistan near the Uzbekistan border. My duffle bag traveled even further that day. It went onto Kunduz near the Tajikistan border, leaving me with nothing but the clothes on my back and the equipment in my pockets.
We eventually got to the bunkhouse at the German air base in Mazar-e-Sharif. I sat on a bare bunk as Joel unpacked. He reached into his duffle bag and tossed me an extra sleeping bag and an extra towel. Even he couldn't explain why he brought the additional gear.
We often work out together in the gym, and have breakfast together in the dining facility. It's worked out well. I've signed on for an additional year; Joel re-upped for another six months.
Magness, the commander of the district, said he recognizes that serving in Afghanistan for months or years at a time requires commitment by both individual employees and by their families, whether their family members come with them to Afghanistan or stay back in the United States.
He welcomes multiple family members in the district and dismisses any charges of nepotism.
"I would let anybody charge whatever they want. To them I say, 'If your family member is qualified, we'll hire them too,' and oftentimes, we have," Magness said.
"If you look at the family combinations that we have over here, they are all qualified, quality people. I would certainly defend any charge against that - except for the Giblin brothers," he said.
Of course, he was joking about that last part. At least I hope so, for Joel's sake anyway.
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