Air Force 1st Lt. Amelia Keith-Schwartz, assigned to 31st Intelligence Squadron, lights a candle in remembrance of Jesus, a 10 year old boy who was in the home when his father shot and killed his mother, in rememberance of survivors and non-survivors...
FORT GORDON, Ga. (Oct. 16, 2015) - Anyone can become a victim of domestic violence. It can happen to a man or woman regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, marital status, socioeconomic status, religion or culture. However, most of the victims, about 85 percent, in our society are women.
The Army Community Service, Family Advocacy Program hosted the United States Army Cyber Center of Excellence Command program Oct. 6 in Alexander Hall to bring awareness to this growing problem.
Fort Gordon joined other military installations in commemorating this observance to celebrate the rights of victims of domestic violence. This year's theme is: "Domestic Violence: Relationships Start with Respect."
The program began with representatives from the four major branches of service at Fort Gordon participating in a candle lighting ceremony in memory of victims, who died as a result of domestic violence. The testimonies were all true.
As it has been pointed out over the years in many studies about domestic violence it can happen to anyone.
And it did happen to the guest speaker, Dee Griffin, a former television news personality, who was earning a six figure salary before her marriage and grew up in a loving military home.
Griffin, the daughter of retired Army Sgt. Maj. Alvin Griffin Jr., now deceased, and Helen, grew up in Augusta, Georgia and knows Fort Gordon well.
Her father, a great influence in her life, was one of the members of the last regiment of Buffalo Soldiers and among the first to integrate the Army.
"My dad was a strong man," Griffin said. "He loved the Army."
The values her parents instilled in Griffin helped sustain her when she faced abuse in her own marriage, but she still was taken by surprise that it happened to her.
Griffin referred to the man she married as the "wind beneath my wings." They were married in Augusta in 2010. Shortly afterward he took a job as a high school principal in Boston, Massachusetts.
"Life was good," Griffin said. "We decided because of my age to start a family now then to wait." Three weeks into their marriage she became pregnant.
"I left behind my house and my wonderful six figure salary and my career I had built almost 20 years and moved to Boston to join my husband in November 2010," she explained. By the end of November the couple had their first major fight.
"That was the first time in my life I was called the 'N' word," Griffin said. She left her husband and stayed at a hotel until her money ran out and then she returned to him, but not without a tongue lashing from him about why she should never disobey him.
"Every time he would get upset I would run into our bedroom and lock the door," she explained. Griffin reminded herself that she put herself in this situation.
The abuse continued. When she was seven months pregnant the couple got into another serious argument.
"He pushed me and I didn't know what to do," she said. "I was very upset and I kept thinking that I brought this on myself."
After pushing her again, she managed to get away from him, gather a few things and move in with a friend for a few days, but she eventually went back to her husband to try to make their marriage work.
In May 2011 their son was born.
"The little guy came into this world with a smile on his face and I thought this is going to be the glue that holds us together," Griffin said. "It is going to be OK from here."
Those thoughts didn't linger long. Her husband lost his temper again and threw her around in the kitchen and hit Griffin in the stomach knowing she had just undergone a C-section eight weeks early with the birth of their son. During this fight he threw her into the kitchen cabinets and the steel refrigerator. Making a swing at her, she was able to duck and he hit the fridge. The impact left a permanent dent.
Griffin managed to get away long enough to retrieve her cellphone from their bedroom. She pushed the last call button, which had been made to her sister, as she slipped the phone in her robe pocket.
"I went into a reporter mode," Griffin explained. "I am going to tell the story about what is going on here."
When her husband hit her in the stomach again she verbally asked why he was doing it.
"Oh, please don't punch me in the stomach," she said. "Why are you holding me against my will? Please don't kill me. I will leave you alone. I will give you a divorce. Just don't kill me and don't hurt the baby."
Fortunately, a neighbor heard her cries for help and called the police. Her sister heard the argument through the cellphone and the next day she flew up with her mother to Boston to take Griffin and her son back home to Augusta. It took two years for the divorce to become final, but not without her husband taking one finally punch at her. He denied all claims to their son.
"One in three women and one in four men have been victims of some form of violence by a partner in their lifetime and they don't see it coming," Griffin said. She encouraged everyone to get involved if they know of or see someone being abused.
"Let's break the silence," she added. "Too many people are dying daily because of domestic violence."
Gail Bennett, chief of the FAP Clinical office, and Vanessa Stanley, ACS director, joined forces to remind the community that domestic violence reports can be received as "restricted reports" or "unrestricted reports." A restricted reports provides access to medical care and support services without a criminal investigation.
Unrestricted reports can be made by reporting to local law enforcement, your chain of command, or the installation's reporting point of contact at (706) 791- 4380. Fort Gordon also has a dedicated Domestic Violence Hotline number, which is (706) 791-7867. It should be noted that a restricted report can be made by speaking with a health care professional or domestic violence victim advocate on the DV hotline.
Help is available to those experiencing domestic violence. The support services range from victim advocates assigned to advocate and provide personal assistance, emergency transportation, shelter, or child respite care as well as individual or group counseling, financial assistance, employment readiness support and other referrals as deemed appropriate.
"This year's theme, '…Relationships Start with Respect' emphasizes that relationships that are built on respect for self and others have no room for domestic violence -- ever!" said Stanley.
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