Practical Advice to Combat Sexual Assault

He had her just where he wanted her, alone in his apartment. He kissed her, but she did not respond. He touched her more aggressively, grinding himself next to her body. Her eyes glazed, her teeth clenched tight. They had sex.

"It left me feeling empty," he said after the encounter. "I told her to stay for the night; she was in no shape to make it home. She laid there with her teeth clenched tight all night. In the morning the last thing I said to her was, you'll have to walk that way to get home."

U.S. Army Dugway Proving Ground's Sisters in Arms sponsored a Sexual Harassment/Assault Response & Prevention (SHARP) Month program April 21 at the Community Club. The program is designed to heighten awareness of sexual assault and the effects it has on victims, as well as their families, friends and coworkers.

Janaee Stone, Hill Air Force Base's Sexual Assault Prevention & Response (SAPR) program manager for the 75th Air Base Wing was the guest speaker. Stone, who served 12 years with the Navy, is well qualified to speak about sexual assault and prevention, since she trains 29 victim advocates and coordinates with communities across Northern Utah including Safe Harbor, Your Community Connection, Crime Victims Reparations and Rape Crisis Centers.

The rape story is true, but the video is a reenactment based on a letter sent to a news agency. Her husband filmed the confession for her presentations. The account represents what Stone called a frozen fright response.

The frozen response is one way that our bodies respond to overwhelming fear, helplessness, pain and threat. When the act is too aggressive it becomes a basic protective mechanism or defense to shut down to survive, she said.

It is important for men to recognize this response. If a woman appears too passive or unresponsive, it is likely she is not consenting to a sexual advance.

"People need to be more aware of what's happening around them, not just for themselves, but to ensure they don't become a bystander.

According to National Centers for Injury Prevention and Control a bystander is anyone who plays some role in an act of harassment, abuse or violence, but is not the perpetrator or the victim. It is however, someone present who can discourage, prevent, or interrupt .

About 60 percent of crimes can be prevented with some basic intervention, but only five to 10 percent step up to help a victim, she stressed.

Sexual abuse is a crisis for a child. Children who often don't have any tools they need to protect themselves. It is frightening to realize that a pedophile will assault more than 30 times before being caught with a child. Stone said parents are not educating their children early enough. The best time to answer questions is when they are first broached by the child that's when he questions come naturally making it easier to talk openly.

To clarify at what age parents should discuss sex and sexual assault she added, "Nine is not too young, 13, and on the way out the door, is too late.Talking with children early can be difficult and means parents need to provide clear guidance to a child."

Children can take statements made by adults as factual declarations, she said

Have you ever said if something bad happens you are going to kill someone? Children can take this literally. They might believe you will do something terrible to someone if they tell you what has happened.

To overcome this, Stone suggested three assurances to use when talking to children: 1) I am always here for you. 2) I will always believe you. 3) We will work this out together. You need to encourage them to be open with you, without feeling you will overreact," she counseled.

It is also Stone's job to explain the difference between restricted and unrestricted reporting. To illustrate, she asked everyone to write a secret they had never shared on a slip of paper.

"You can keep your secret, or you can share it with me as a SAPR, I am bound to keep it confidential. I cannot share it without permission. This is restricted reporting," she said. "If you share it with a supervisor or a command leader, they are obligated to share it with the command chain. This is unrestricted reporting.

"The ways we talk about and respond to sexual violence can be changed. This is a start. Let's begin to make a difference together," Stone said.

Join the Dugway Ready and Resilience team that makes a difference. Rebecca Bacon, SHARP victim advocate at (435) 831-2021 or Derrick Cave, Dugway's Sexual Assault Response Coordinator, (434) 831-2739.