"What to Expect" baby shower brings moms together

By Chelsea Bissell, U.S. Army Garrison Bavaria Public AffairsMarch 18, 2015

Testing the tummy
1 / 4 Show Caption + Hide Caption – Soon-to-be-moms in U.S. Army Garrison Bavaria try to guess how many toilet paper squares fit around their pregnant stomachs during a group baby shower at Tower Barracks, March 13. The shower was co-hosted by the USO and Heidi Murkoff, author of "What... (Photo Credit: U.S. Army) VIEW ORIGINAL
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Baby shower games
3 / 4 Show Caption + Hide Caption – Two soon-to-be-moms in U.S. Army Garrison Bavaria try to guess how many toilet paper squares fit around their pregnant stomachs during a group baby shower at Tower Barracks, March 13. The shower was co-hosted by the USO and Heidi Murkoff, author of "... (Photo Credit: U.S. Army) VIEW ORIGINAL
One-on-one
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GRAFENWOEHR, Germany -- Over 70 expectant moms in U.S. Army Garrison Bavaria celebrated their pregnancies together at a group baby shower, March 13.

Heidi Murkoff, author and maven behind the game-changing "What to Expect When You're Expecting" book series, hosted the baby shower for the moms and moms-to-be at Tower Barracks.

Since 2013, Murkoff has partnered with the USO to bring large-scale baby showers to military communities around the world. By hosting these showers, Murkoff seeks to provide support and personal information for those far from home.

"It's never easy being a mom, especially for first time," Murkoff said. "But, these families and these women are so far-flung and so separated from their net of support; they're completely on their own."

"These moms say to me, 'my mom isn't here and I just want to call my mom,'" she added. "And then they have deployed spouses. They deliver on their own and bring their baby back home on their own. It's just exponentially harder."

The "What to Expect" baby showers try to take the loneliness out of being pregnant while away from home and create a space where moms can network and enjoy the company of those in the same condition in the same community.

"It's supposed to be a fun, relaxing day for moms. They get to meet Heidi and also make contact with other expecting moms," said Kendall Walton, programs coordinator for USO Headquarters in Arlington, Virginia.

First-time moms sat around tables with those expecting their third, fourth or even fifth child. In between playing baby shower games and winning raffle prizes, the women chatted about doctors, joked about weight gain and compared pregnancy symptoms.

"I came because I wanted to be around a lot of pregnant women," said Valerie Pamphile. "Studies show that when you're around other women at your gestational age, you thrive."

Pamphile added that while she often sees other pregnant women on post, she feels she can't approach them to discuss symptoms and medical care. At Murkoff's shower, however, that openness is encouraged.

Murkoff made her mark in the self-help and maternity community in 1984 when she published her first "What to Expect When You're Expecting" book on pregnancy. While carrying her first child, Murkoff found an absence of literature on the realities of pregnancy.

At that time, explained Murkoff, most pregnancy books were written by male doctors who can't experience what they wrote about and treated pregnancy as an illness and not something to be celebrated and discussed.

Her book, however, delved into the minutia of pregnancy, discussing every unpleasant or delightful symptom during each month of gestation. Because of this personal touch, it quickly became the go-to guide for expecting families.

Since then, Murkoff and her books have become international household names. The original book is currently on its fourth edition and has spawned companion sources on nutrition and parenting, which have sold over 34 million copies in the U.S. alone. She answers questions and provides information to parents throughout the world through conferences, group baby showers and social media.

Murkoff lent her expertise to the women of USAG Bavaria as well during a question-and-answer session. Warm, unabashed and willing to discuss anything, Murkoff urged the new moms to not be shy with their questions.

The room opened up, running through queries on relationships, bodily changes and how to navigate the German medical system. In keeping with the community feel, experienced moms as well as doulas (hired advocates for women during labor) and representatives from Lactation Connection, a national breastfeeding organization, chimed in with their insights for the group.

The "What to Expect" baby showers have received encouraging feedback in the past two years from attendees and the military community. The USO plans on expanding the showers to reach more military bases in the U.S. and abroad.

"The program is really needed in the military community," said Walton. "There are so many military moms having babies and being away from home, so it's a really good fit."

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