FORT DRUM, N.Y. -- Some might say that Pabianice, Poland, is a small town with small horizons. Despite limited opportunities, however, former resident Aleksandra Socha decided to dig for gold … Olympic gold.
Determination earned her a spot on the Polish Army's Outstanding Athlete Program -- an athletic scholarship from the Polish Fencing Federation -- and she would eventually become a three-time Olympian on the women's Polish Olympic Fencing Team.
Half a world away, husband and U.S. Army Capt. Rafal B. Szelagowski, 1st Squadron, 89th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, prepares at Fort Drum for a rotation at the National Training Center in Fort Irwin, Calif., and an upcoming deployment to Afghanistan.
Early on in their relationship, the couple realized they each had a top priority long before their paths crossed. For Szelagowski, it was the Army; Socha had fencing.
"I know the Army is No. 1 for Rafal, and I had to accept that," Socha said. "I cannot tell him to quit and come to Warsaw -- he would be unhappy."
Socha said she understands what her husband endures every day and she supports him in all he does.
"I realize that his job is the hardest in the world, but he loves it," she said. "Every day, he and other service members risk their lives in defense of their country. I'm so proud of Rafal and all of the other Soldiers."
Likewise, Szelagowski supports Socha's goals in life. He said his wife doesn't need much help from him to stay focused.
"I need to do very little to keep her motivated -- she keeps herself motivated," Szelagowski said. "I make sure she has everything she needs to stay competitive."
Despite busy schedules, unique goals and thousands of miles of separation, the couple has overcome many obstacles to keeping the flame alive in their relationship.
"I visit her during block leave twice a year for two weeks each time," Szelagowski said. "She travels to the U.S. around twice a year for two weeks to a month."
Socha pointed out that modern technology relieves some of the burdens associated with maintaining a long-distance relationship.
"It's not easy, but we work on our relationship every day," she said. "I'm very happy that we live in the 21st century and have the Internet and video chat. They have been our best friends."
Socha also said her husband keeps a few tricks up his sleeve for when they do see each other.
"He surprises me often," she said. "For example, he covered my apartment with red roses once, or he wins my donated sabers during charitable auctions."
The last saber Szelagowski won was during the Great Orchestra of Christians Charity Auction. He was presented with it by the Polish Land Forces chief of staff during the Polish Independence Day Celebration.
"It was a great event and a nice parade," Szelagowski recalled. "A few U.S. Embassy officials attended, including one of our friends who works there.
"I was happy I could represent the Army and the Commando Brigade at the event."
Even though much of their long-distance relationship appears to be well synchronized, the couple knows things will change again soon as the Commando Brigade's time in the U.S. becomes shorter.
"It will be much harder for me when Rafal goes to Afghanistan," Socha said. "But I'm not the only one in this situation, and this is not our first rodeo. I have always wanted to get another master's degree, and I will do this while he is away."
Of course, Szelagowski also is accustomed to long separations, and he shared some advice for those who have yet to experience one.
"Every couple is different and has different needs," he said. "Just figure out what works for you and make sure you and your significant other understand it."
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