FORT CAVAZOS, Texas -- Surviving spouses of fallen Soldiers gathered Friday to have some fun during Gold Star Spouses Day at a Survivor Outreach Services event.
The term “Gold Star” refers to those whose service member died while on active duty. Originally called Gold Star Wives Day, the first observance occurred in 2010. In 2012, the Senate recognized the observance, claiming April 5 for the day of remembrance.
“Gold Star Spouses Day is an important day because it’s an acknowledgement of our families’ sacrifice, but, also, it is an opportunity for us to participate in activities on the installation so we continue to feel like we’re part of the military family,” said Cayssia David, surviving spouse of Spc. Steven Ray Givens 1st Battalion, 15th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division.
David had already been a Gold Star Spouse years before the creation of Gold Star Spouses Day and SOS, Givens having died May 8, 2005, while on deployment in Iraq.
SOS supports surviving families of fallen Soldiers by connecting them with grief counseling, financial counseling, benefits coordination, support groups, events and more.
“It’s a program that’s designed to let our family, especially our military spouses know … that they’re never forgotten, that they’re always a part of the military family,” said James Elzie, Fort Cavazos Army Community Services Wounded and Fallen branch manager, “and we want to be able to serve them until they don’t need us anymore. We’re always there to provide assistance to them.”
SOS is the Army keeping its promise, David said.
“It’s the promise that should the worst happen, we will be there to care and support your family. I feel like in the beginning, without SOS, there was a component missing to that promise. SOS completes the picture,” David added.
At the event, spouses worked together to escape a room at the Great Escape of Central Texas in Killeen, Texas, then ate lunch and had fellowship on Fort Cavazos at the SOS office in Shoemaker Center.
“The escape room was so much fun,” David expressed. “I think that when you’re uncomfortable, you experience the most growth. I also think that when you’re uncomfortable, you get to come together with people you may not know to form these bonds. I’m just happy that we had that experience today and that it was able to facilitated by Survival Outreach Services.”
Fellowship at the event included meeting other Gold Star Spouses, playing games and learning about other resources available to surviving families and spouses.
For Jami Gulley, surviving spouse of Sgt. Maj. Shawn Travis Gulley, this was her first time participating in a SOS event.
Events where Gold Star Families and Spouses can interact are incredibly important for support, identification and having a community, Jami said.
“…There’s just a lot that people don’t really understand,” she explained. “It’s kind of hard to talk to other people about what they’ve experienced, and most people don’t want to really talk to you or bring up what happened even if they know. But whenever you’re around other survivors and their families, we just have a trust about and an ability to talk to one another you don’t really get from people who haven’t experienced this.
“I don’t think most Gold Star family members ever expect it,” Jami continued. “They just love somebody who’s in the military, in the Army, and then the next day, everything is completely foreign. And that’s something that everybody that’s a Gold Star family member can understand.”
Travis died Nov. 22, 2023, while serving as the sergeant major of the Capabilities Development and Integration Directorate at the Fires Center of Excellence at Fort Sill, Oklahoma. Working with SOS in taking care of her husband’s affairs has been a wonderful experience, Jami said.
“… (SOS) was so helpful to us from the financial planning to situations that came up with…like (Travis’) vehicle, how we were able to surrender that. Survivor Outreach Services, as well as the Casualty Assistance Office, were very helpful through that process, giving me kind of the guidance and direction I needed on how to handle things,” she expressed.
Jami said the event was amazing, adding that talking with other Gold Star Spouses allowed her to find out about other resources available to her.
“There’s just a lot of information that women and men who have done this before me I get to hear firsthand,” Jami said. “… I’m really glad that we had the opportunity to do this because I feel like I have a lot more resources available to me now.”
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