FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. -- (Oct. 9, 2015) It was the last day of elementary school for Yesenia Ramos' two youngest children, and her oldest was a rising senior. On that late spring day, her life would change forever.
Just two days earlier she finally spoke to her husband via Skype. Sgt. Louie A. Ramos was deployed to Afghanistan with Fox Company (Pathfinder), 4th Battalion, 101st Aviation Regiment, 159th Combat Aviation Brigade. Internet capability had just been established at his post.
"He called twice that day," Ramos said with a smile. "The first time it was with me and Sheila [their daughter], and the second time he talked with the boys."
Sgt. Ramos told her about the baseball bats that he had gotten for the boys -- Pedro and Louie Jr. -- and together they made plans for a Disney vacation during his upcoming August R&R.
"And then he said 'I want you to continue what we planned, promise me,'" Ramos said. "I think maybe he knew."
On May 26, 2011, Sgt. Ramos, along with 1st Lt. John Marshall Runkle Jr., Staff Sgt. Edward David Mills, Staff Sgt. Ergin Vidot Osman, Sgt. Thomas Andrew Bohall and Spc. Adam James Patton were killed. They died of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked their unit with an improvised explosive device in Kandahar province, Afghanistan.
Ramos gathered her three children and took her husband home to Camuy, Puerto Rico. He was buried at a cemetery just five minutes from his father's home.
"He always wanted to go back home," she said.
For six months, a Casualty Assistance Officer guided Ramos through the maze of survivor benefits and emotions of losing her husband and then she transferred to the Army Community Service Survivor Outreach Services program and met Suzy Yates, SOS program manager.
Survivor Outreach
"Suzy has been here since I became a survivor and sometimes you don't have to say anything because in some way she just knows -- she has learned so much from us -- she can point it out," Ramos said. "Actually SOS is more than a service -- for many of us -- they are family."
Established in 2009, Army Community Service Survivor Outreach Services program was put in place Armywide to provide Gold Star Families with long-term support and advocacy.
"When I say long-term, I mean for life," Yates said. "It's really up to the survivors how much or how little they utilize this program. We are their casualty assistance officer for life."
Gold Star Families are families who have lost a loved one in service to the nation. SOS provides these survivors a multitude of services and assistance including financial counseling and support coordinators, who assist them in whatever they need.
"There is no question too small that we will not find an answer," Yates said. "We are a referral source for anything and everything a surviving family might need. The most frequent use starts with financial."
Financial counselors are on staff to assist survivors in navigating the Veterans Administration as well as Defense Finance and Accounting Services, among many others.
"That financial counselor can help them decide what they want to do with those benefits that they receive," she said. "It can be very overwhelming, and the financial counselor is there to help them navigate and understand those benefit initially, and there is a sea of benefits."
Fort Campbell's SOS also has an embedded Military Family Life Consultant, which is something not every installation has, Yates said.
"She is dedicated to our program and is here four days a week. The day of the week that she is not here she is at the Casualty Assistance Center," Yates said. "She has been a huge asset to our program, she can give on-the-spot mental health assistance to any family member who may need it."
Two support coordinators are on the SOS staff to provide subject matter expertise in areas that survivors may need assistance, which can be anything from mental health referrals to verifying the legitimacy of an organization that is offering assistance.
"I help them connect with organizations and the Army or whatever they need to help their daily lives be a little bit easier," said Leslie Herlick, support coordinator.
"We want this to be a one-stop location for survivors to come and to be a place of healing and new beginnings," Yates said. "The SOS staff is there to take on the stress of the situation."
In addition to the support and guidance the SOS team provides, Ramos knows firsthand the embrace of comfort that Yates and her staff give survivors.
"SOS doesn't make you feel you are just like a number," Ramos said. "You are welcomed, and even if you are a new survivor. It doesn't matter how far you are in this life that you have been chosen to live they will always be there. You are always welcome, no matter the time of day."
As a single mother with a special needs child, Ramos has found the staff of SOS to be a blessing. She and her children frequently visit and make themselves at home.
"They take care of us … they have become family," she said. "If you need a place to run to you know where you can go. They make you feel at home, and that is what I love about this place."
House of comfort, healing
The warm and cheerful interior of the Parrish House, the home of SOS, offers a warm welcome to guests unlike any other office on the installation. The historic structure was the home of the commanding general of the 101st Airborne Division and Fort Campbell until 2014. During his tenure as commanding general, Maj. Gen. James C. McConville invited surviving families to an annual commanding general's brunch at his Parrish House home, Yates said.
"At the last brunch he announced to the families that his home was now their home," she said. "I feel by doing that and giving them this place -- one of the oldest buildings on Fort Campbell, a historical building, a place of significance -- it has really left a lasting impression and impact on our families. I could not have asked for a better location, it's amazing."
"I was like wow this is going to be ours," Ramos said of McConville's announcement. "This is going to be Survivor Outreach Services, the place where I can come at any point in my life, at any point in my day no matter for what. I love it here."
Ramos considers the Parrish House her second home -- it provides sanctuary from life's storms.
"Some families come here just to be, and we meet them at that spot," Yates said. "We have had families come in here and just take a break from life. It's their place to just come and be in the moment."
Ramos and her children enjoy the opportunity for a break, where they can just be themselves without the label of survivors. Parrish House is a place where she finds peace. It is a place where she can vent and share her frustrations, and no one will judge her.
"They laugh with you or cry with you," Ramos said. "We can talk about anything, no matter the topic and what you talk about in here stays in here. That's the best part."
"This is a lifetime grieving process," she said. "It's like a rollercoaster. It's a puzzle, and you have to start building that puzzle and put those pieces together and you want to make sure that those are the right pieces for a new chapter in your life."
Yates considers her role as SOS program manager as "a complete honor."
"I am humbled to have the opportunity to serve these families. I get the question a lot, 'How do you deal with death all day, how do you deal with the loss?" I don't. I embrace the families. And I get to see those families maybe at the worst point in their life, right after the loss. But I get to see these families rebuild. I get to see their kids graduate from college. I get to see them get married. I see our spouses graduate college and go on to get their own career. So I hold on to the things of the rebuilding and the new beginnings that I am honored to be a part of. I could turn and look at it as I deal with loss every day, but that's not the type of person I am. I want these families to know that there is a future. They can do this. It's all about rebuilding and focusing on the positive."
Yates credits the stalwart support of installation command as well as higher headquarters with the success of the SOS program.
"There is such care and concern taken for our families, all the way up the chain," Yates said. "The amount of community that embraces these families is amazing. I am just one very small piece."
Although the main focus of SOS is caring for families of fallen active duty service members, Yates said that her team also offers support for retiree and veteran families. A retiree or veteran death may have a service connection and SOS can "provide a support coordinator to the family to help them go through the VA's process of applying for benefits and ruling that a service-connected death."
Hall of Remembrance
Just beyond the front door of the Parrish House is the Hall of Remembrance filled with pictures of fallen heroes -- their smiling faces belie the fact that they are gone. When Ramos and her children visit, they make it a point to stop by Sgt. Ramos' photo -- one of 168 on display.
"The Hall of Remembrance is the place where you can reconnect with your spouse," Ramos said. "It is a place where you feel that you are not going to lose them at all. It's a place where people can see who they were."
That sense of connection is what has kept her in the Fort Campbell area.
"SOS is that connection with post and that connection with what they were with the Army, what their job was," Ramos said.
Herlick became an SOS support coordinator in February and also takes care of the Hall of Remembrance.
"It's kind of like a museum where somebody needs to maintain it," she said. "And then add to it. We always try to keep it looking its best. Because the survivors when they come in the come and see their loved one, and they go see their loved one before they leave. So it is very important that it stays a place to honor their memories."
Herlick said anyone can stop by SOS and view the photographs in the Hall of Remembrance.
"To a lot of people it is very emotional, even non-survivors they come in there and see all those pictures -- it's overwhelming to them that there are so many people, and that is not even a fraction of how many there really are that we have lost. It's an honor to honor these people. When I turn on the light in the morning, I say 'good morning' to them and when I shut it off I say 'alright guys goodnight, see you tomorrow.'"
Anyone who lives in the area and is interested in submitting a photo of their deceased service member may do so by contacting the SOS office, Herlick said. The loss does not have to be a Fort Campbell loss and can be from any branch of service.
"Those families residing outside of our area who had a Fort Campbell loss, we would be honored to include their photos as well," Yates said. "We do not accept photos from the units because we want the families to decide how they want their loved on remembered."
For Ramos and her children the Hall of Remembrance is one more piece of that puzzle that ensures that her husband will not be forgotten.
"For [my children] this gives them the peace that they need," she said. "They are reassured that their father is not forgotten and that there are people around us that really care about the Gold Star Families, and that is important."
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