When 2nd Lt. Rebecca Parrish walked into Margaret Krize's room last June, she already knew her patient was unique. After all, Margaret was a cancer patient on a cardiac floor. But with stage 4 cancer in her lungs, sternum and breasts, Margaret needed more oxygen than most oncology patients, so she went into the ward with more capabilities to administer it.
What Parrish didn't know during that first visit, though, was the special relationship that they'd form in just 18 days. The photos from her life that brought comfort to Margaret's sterile hospital room, her diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer and her struggle with constantly teetering on the edge of life all hit home for Parrish. After all, her daughter Jessica, 14, has been a similar journey since she was diagnosed with lung cancer more than a year and a half ago.
"I love all my patients but I have a much deeper connection with patients that are going through 'Am I going to live or die?', 'Do I do this treatment or that treatment?'" said Parrish, a registered nurse at Madigan Army Medical Center.
She battles these issues with her daughter's illness; Jessica was initially given a week to live without chemo, or 4 to 6 months with it. Margaret, meanwhile, has been living with her stage 4 cancer since 2008, managing it fairly well until her health dove south again in 2014. A visit with her oncologist this spring, when she felt very weak and knew something was drastically wrong, brought Margaret to Madigan as an inpatient.
She was cared for by the tag team of Parrish and her nursing preceptor, 1st Lt. Kim Taylor, who was training Parrish on the floor. Taylor knew about what Parrish and her family were living through with her daughter's illness, so she encouraged Parrish to share some of her story with Margaret to help lift her spirits and support her emotionally.
"The story of her daughter really intrigued me and then her daughter's a musician, and I'm a musician, so I was drawn to her story immediately," said Margaret, a retired Air Force National Guard paralegal who's played guitar "on the side" her whole life.
As for Taylor, she didn't have to stretch her imagination too far to understand what Margaret struggled through, "Having been through (those) emotions, especially it being in the lungs, knowing the difficulties that Margaret was going through (of) wanting to be strong and then some days probably tired of being strong for people."
To that, Margaret echoed, "For sure."
When doctors found a new nodule in Jessica's lung while Margaret was still her patient, Parrish found even more empathy for Margaret. She still went in for her regular emotional pep talk with Margaret (whom Parrish calls "a fighter"), yet left the room holding back tears as she thought of how Margaret felt in her own situation.
Yet most days, Parrish and Taylor kept Margaret's room jovial.
"We just laughed all of the time; it was always fun in that room. Even when she was not feeling good, she was always happy," said Taylor of Margaret, whom she calls "a beautiful person."
"You guys kept us alive with your cheery stories too; you always had some funny story," said Margaret. She described how Taylor formed a strong team with Parrish to take care of her: "It was powerful energy when the two of them were together."
Although both Parrish and Margaret agreed that her 18 days on the floor seemed a lot longer, Margaret went home and is continuing her recovery through endocrine treatments. She is still on 15 liters of oxygen, though, "which is quite high," she said. "I'm hoping to dial that down at some point."
But even that is not stopping Margaret from what she plans to do -- pausing, but not stopping. She earned her degree in liberal arts in May, and was recently accepted into the University of Washington's master of social work program; she's been granted one year reprieve so that she can recover more before starting her studies. While she missed her annual trip home to Alaska this summer (she can't fly yet), she said that in the future, "I'll figure out a way. We have a van."
When asked if she can return to her hobby of fishing, Margaret said she can't do it right now -- earning praise from Parrish for emphasizing "right now."
Just last month, Margaret made it to Madigan on her scooter "Bubba" to watch Parrish accept the DAISY nursing award for which Margaret had nominated her.
"I got this exceptional service from her and we had this instant bond and connection. I felt that she went above and beyond the call of duty right away. She told me things I never would've known," said Margaret. "She made me feel better all of the time."
Taylor helped present the award, honoring her teammate's care of their patient.
"I was very emotional because I got to watch that relationship unfold; they are precious people," she said.
As for Parrish, she humbly declined that she had done anything exceptional.
"I'm very, very glad to know that I put some positivity in your life or helped you in any manner," she said to Margaret. "That's all I ever wanted out of this job, is to know that I could affect somebody the way someone affected me."
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