FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. -- Couples take anywhere from days to months or even years to plan the perfect wedding. But for all the planning that goes into the ceremony, almost no one has a plan for what happens should the marriage come to an end.
"I think divorce can kind of be a taboo topic sometimes, both religiously and in society because no one wants to talk about the bad things," said Jennifer Hurst, Family Life Center counseling intern. "I think this is a really good way to get people to come out and talk about it and realize you can bounce back."
Divorce Care is a course offered by the Fort Campbell Family Life Center. It is designed like a support group for people who are going through divorces and those who have already divorced to help them work through the process and the grief that comes along with it.
"We talk about different emotions during divorce, we can direct for different legal [issues] -- there are sections about that," Hurst said. "Just basically an overall picture -- what you're going through is normal, these are things that can happen, here's a healthy way to cope with things."
The class is structured as a group sharing session. The first class, set for Monday, will involve ice breakers, a short video and discussion questions.
"Rather than doing grief shares, we just open it up -- what struck you about this video -- and go off that," Hurst said.
The course itself is 12 weeks long, meeting every Monday from 10 a.m. until noon at Liberty Chapel, 3111 Bastogne Ave., except for the last Monday of each month. The chapel is used for Marriage 101 on those days.
"It's to help them work through the grief so they don't rush back into another relationship before they're ready," said Chap. (Maj.) Jerry Hall, Family Life Center chaplain.
"More so [for] people that might be out of a marriage a few months and all of a sudden they want to get married again, so the cycle just continues."
Hall said it's best for participants to attend every meeting since each meeting builds on the last.
"It's designed to help [them] grieve, to work through those emotions and to learn from what broke down the relationship before, so you don't repeat the same thing a second time," Hall said.
Hall said he hoped that people who aren't yet divorced would go to the Marriage Maintenance class and try to fix their relationship, but he recognizes that sometimes things happen that just cannot be fixed.
The course covers what is normal emotionally -- including the feelings of sadness and loss.
"There's a part about grief, how it's an important part," Hurst said.
The class also addresses how divorce effects different people -- such as two newly single people versus a Family.
Participants also get a copy of the Divorce Care workbook so that they can continue to work on different things throughout the week.
"It's basically just a big support group for whatever you need," Hurst said.
Although the class functions as a group sharing session, Hall said no one is required to share. He said everyone is encouraged to participate in the general discussion, but if they have more personal issues they want to discuss, they are encouraged to schedule private counseling sessions.
"Some folks are afraid to put their business out there," he said.
"You can't promise total confidentiality in a group."
Hall said they offer the classes in the morning because it usually only entails one person, so child care is not an issue. Either the children are in school or the other parent can care for them during the session.
"It's open to anyone who's going through a divorce, Soldiers or spouses," Hall said. "As long as they're an ID card holder. Even retirees can come."
He said they prefer participants to register in advance so they know how much space and how many workbooks they'll need the first day, but it's not a requirement.
They can register by calling the Family Life Center at (270) 798-3316.
Hall said they're grateful for the command support they've received for Soldiers attending the classes.
"A lot of people kind of equate divorce to failure -- I couldn't fix this, I couldn't do this -- so that kind of bleeds over into other areas, and that's really the biggest thing," Hurst said.
"It's not a failure. It's a bunch of little things that didn't work out, you weren't educated about something maybe, or just a clash."
In addition to the Marriage Maintenance and the Divorce Care courses, the center also offers GriefShare to help participants learn the proper ways to grieve and purpose of grieving and Marriage 101 to help couples prepare for matrimony before the wedding.
Editor's note: This story is the fourth in a series on programs offered through the Fort Campbell Family Life Center.
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