Fort Lewis parents get questions answered at Parent University

By Barbara L. SellersApril 10, 2009

FORT LEWIS, Wash. - It takes three years for most Soldiers to recover from the trauma of their experiences in Iraq.

That's one thing Fort Lewis couples learned from keynote speaker Dr. Michael A. Colson during the 12th annual Parent University April 4 at Evergreen Elementary School.

Colson, a former U.S.Navy commander and combat veteran, opened Parent University with an energetic, informative and humorous talk about medical and emotional adjustment issues combat veterans and their families face and the importance of obtaining the care they need. He now conducts clinical outreach and advocacy for returning Iraq and Afghanistan military Department of Defense veterans.

"I'm so glad you're here, because this has to be a team effort," he said.

Everybody who serves in the military now represents less than one percent of the total population, Colson said.

"Most people have no idea what it means to be a veteran," he said. "So that makes us uncommon. You put your lives on the line, and what you do is not common. Sometimes we want to make sense out of it, but we can't. You are normal people reacting to abnormal circumstances."

Those who serve in the military, however, usually have some things in common.

Colson talked about geography, stress, reactions, occupational impacts, leadership observations, hopes and dreams, and readjustment requirements - all things many members of the military community share.

First, he emphasized the importance of early intervention, getting secondary support and taking advantage of all of the global war on terrorism programs and community service agents.

Early intervention should include a physical evaluation and a well-being evaluation, he said. Colson also said GWOT veterans need to develop a Department of Veterans Affairs claim and be willing to explore new options.

"If you're giving 100 percent to the Army, then there's nothing left to give to yourself and your family," Colson said. "If you think that everything is important, that's stress overload, and you need to get help. You can get over this, but it takes a lot of hard work."

Sometimes Soldiers with significant stress are in denial. They will often self-medicate using alcohol, he said.

"When alcohol wears off, it becomes a depressant, and when does it wear off'" Colson asked, "usually about 9 to 10 a.m., when most people are making the most important decisions of the day at work."

Colson, who has nine children, also talked about how family members often feel the effects of a Soldier's trauma.

"That's called secondary trauma," he said. "Do you think I could come and live in my home and these kids were not impacted in some way'"

When children with secondary trauma show aggressiveness, loud and unruly behavior or struggle with abandonment issues, one of the best things a traumatized Soldier can do is work on getting better himself, Colson said.

"The better the father gets, the better the children will get also," he said.

Following Colson's keynote speech, parents attended classes in three breakout sessions.

Cheryl Beene, president of the autism support group, presented a class called: "Help! Where's the Owner's Manual for My Child with ASD (Atrial Septal Defect)." She said 67 children in the United States are diagnosed with autism every day, but no one knows what causes it.

"I always tell people to hope, hope, hope and never give up," she said. "But it's different for everybody because there are many different types of autism."

Although no two kids are exactly alike, many have issues with fine motor skills, speech and vision, she said.

"With autism, things change so much, and what works today might not work six months from now," Beene said. "Think about what their strengths are and what their weaknesses are and use their strengths to build up their weaknesses. Try to make eye contact and validate everything that they are doing right. It's got to be a team effort."

Beene also said it's important to give children with autism choices and provide structure because they don't do too well in an environment that doesn't have structure.

Other classes offered were: School Transitions: What Every Parent Needs to Know; The Brain and the Heart: How a Child Grows Inside a Family; Effective Parenting for an Individualized Education Plan; Practical Parenting for Fathers During Deployment; Growing Great Readers; Preventing Childhood Sexual Abuse; Mindfulness Stress Management; Deployment: Staying Connected in Your Child's Education; Parenting and Marriage and Growing Self Empowerment.

Parent University also had a resource fair featuring about 12 information booths, door prizes and refreshments.

"I thought Parent University was excellent," said Nancy McDermott-Halverson, a nurse with the New Parent Support Program, and a contractor on post. "I got a lot of information and good resources here."

Barbara L. Sellers is a reporter wit Fort Lewis' Northwest Guardian.