FORT JACKSON, S.C. -- It didn't really hit me until Friday night. Nearly two weeks, ago, I headed to Fort Meade, Md. to attend the tail end of a 5 1/2 month course.
The entire past week has been a blur of coffee, obscure acronyms, faux interviews and, occasionally, finding my way into the schoolhouse while dodging the large formations of Soldiers reciting the Soldiers' Creed before beginning their school day.
But Friday night after dinner, all I had was my TV, my computer and my phone. And the realization that the next day, I would not be taking my son to story time.
When my husband was away most of May through mid-June, I never had to wonder what my Saturday would entail. Some days I would go to the gym; most days, I would meet a friend for a run. But always, always, I would take my son to story time.
Sitting in this hotel room, I can't help but recall how smug I was when my son was still a basketball belly under what I considered "stylish" maternity wear (which I have since set aside as an oxymoron).
I remember declaring that he would spend summers at grandma's, just as I did. And when parent-friends incredulously questioned me, I was certain: It was a rite of passage, leaving children in the care of others. No, Mom didn't need to be there all the time; and no, I wouldn't feel bad about leaving because really, it was for the best.
A University of South Carolina professor once paraphrased a saying I'd never before heard: We make plans, and God laughs. If that's true, God probably hasn't had a free breath in quite a while.
Because even though I know that Dad has it under control; that he, too, knows when story time begins and is certainly capable of reading a book aimed at a 2-year-old " for some reason, the thought that this week's story time may happen without me was nearly unbearable.
As parents, it is sometimes hard to imagine how our children and spouses will make do without us. But what is even more difficult is how we will make do without them. This week has put me even more in awe of our deployed service members, as well as the hardworking drill sergeants, cadre and support staff who spend hours, days, weeks and months away from their families for the sake of the mission, whatever that might be.
Though my time away was for only two weeks, I quickly found other parents to commiserate with. During one class, when jokingly asked whether he'd broken down since being away from his children, one Soldier remarked: "No. Not in public anyway." And although the class laughed, I think all of us with children knew what he meant. One Airman actually finished up his work Friday evening so that he could drive out of state to see his children.
Thankfully, today's technology makes it so that out of sight doesn't necessarily mean out of mind. A friend of mine, whose husband is deployed, has a standing "date" on Skype so she and the kids can interact with him.
As for me, I have only a few more days before I finish this course and I've already put one thing on my calendar: next Saturday, I'm going to story time.
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