Teen love + teen abuse = scary, scarred relationship

By Erica Comer, Hired! ApprenticeJuly 14, 2011

FORT STEWART, Ga. - One in three teens reported knowing a friend who had been hit, punched, kicked, slapped or choked by their significant other. Then, when we take a closer look, we notice that one in five girls admit they’ve been in a relationship in which their boyfriend had threatened physical abuse if she broke up with him. The tragic part of this image is that this is no longer a thought process because according to New York University Child Study Center, this has already taken place.

As I look up the definition of relationship, I notice it means a passionate affection for another person. Then I look at the word abuse and, in my mind, it’s the complete opposite of love. But, just to be sure, I looked it up and found that abuse is to treat another person or thing in a harmful or offensive way. Ironically, 54 percent of high school students have had both hate and love in their relationship causing the start of domestic violence.

To understand how something that is based off of emotion could be wrong for you, there must be an understanding of how things should be. The four important factors to a healthy relationship are communication, sharing, respect and trust, according to the Center for Young Women’s Health. A relationship is a connection or association with another person; this could not take place if one of the partners doesn’t feel understood, heard or as if no one cares about them. In a relationship, if someone is adamant about their views or how they feel, then the other partner has a better understanding and it may either bring them closer together or to an understanding that they have nothing in common. In most cases, the people in relationships are raging out of control and are not talking in a calm manner which can be intimidating. In my opinion, without trust, there is nothing. Trust is the belief of unnecessary anxiety about the other partner’s commitment.

Things do go wrong because, for some teens, it can get complicated with maintaining the four important values in a relationship. Most teens don’t understand how their relationship can lead to domestic violence; not knowing the signs of trouble can be very detrimental to the progress of any relationship. Some warning signs to watch for noted from SafeSpace.org are: partner behaves in a jealous/possessive way, name calling/demanding comments. Abused teens gives up things that are important such as time with friends and Family, activities or other interest. There is a thin line between love and abuse, understanding and correcting the difference is key to a successful and and healthy relationship.