FORT JACKSON, S.C. -- At one point in our lives or careers, each of us have benefited by having someone serve as a mentor. Mentors influence our views and subsequently shape our lives.
Perhaps you are familiar with the story of Fox Conner and his influence on storied leaders such as George Patton, George Marshall or Dwight Eisenhower.
Maybe you are more in tune with NFL coaches, such as Bill Parcells, whose assistants have gone on to tremendous success. Men like Bill Belichick, Tom Coughlin, Sean Payton, each highly successful NFL coaches and Super Bowl winners.
This article is a tribute to a mentor and a very special farewell to a man who has served his nation and others well in that capacity for close to 30 years.
Mentors use a variety of techniques to influence others. Here are a few:
Accompanying: Making a commitment in a caring way, which involves taking part in the learning process side by side.
Sowing: Sowing is necessary when you know that what you say may not be understood or even acceptable to learners at first, but will make sense and have value to the mentee when the situation requires it.
Showing: This is making something understandable by showing what you are talking about; you show by your own behavior.
Harvesting: Used to create awareness of what was learned by experience and to draw conclusions.
Catalyzing: Catalyzing is when the mentor plunges the learner right into change, provoking a different way of thinking, a change in identity or a reordering of values.
For the past three years, we have been blessed with a mentor who has employed those techniques and several more with a skill and care that will create a difference in the way we live, work and view our world.
Generally our staff updates to our chief of staff, Col. J.R. Sanderson, ended each morning with his closing words, “Go out and do something nice for someone today and expect nothing in return.”
After hearing those words repeated every day, after about a month, I found myself doing just that. I think that is what being a mentor is all about. You are changed for the better without realizing that the change is taking place, and while you may not notice it, others do.
So three years serving with him, I’m going on 50. What is it that I could have possibly learned from this relationship?
I’ll highlight three from the chief’s standard guidance, dated July 18, 2008:
No. 1: “We have a choice in how we respond to a situation: We roll up our sleeves or we wring our hands. You can’t do both at the same time, only one or the other.” It’s true, you can’t. I never saw the man wring his hands, not once.
No. 2: “Nothing in our Army is self synchronizing. If we do not coordinate, do not be surprised by the results.” No matter how big or how small, important or insignificant, things are done routinely because they are coordinated routinely.
No. 3: “Seek to influence as opposed to control. Provide calm and positive leadership.” Most people want to control, but fail to realize that in order to make a lasting impression, they are much better served by influencing.
Those sound like some pretty simple, basic principles, and maybe they are, but watch them applied every day, watch them applied to some pretty complex situations and watch the results and they take on new meaning.
This man built a staff, trained a staff and then repeated the steps as new members arrived. He shaped the direction of this command through the focused application of this staff.
He stomped out drama, kicked away crutches, had tests of wills with attitudes, myths, long standing perceptions and won, did what he said he would do, treated people with respect and put his God and his family foremost.
He leaves a legacy, not in facilities, programs or policies, but in mindset. He leaves a legacy to those who now know what right looks like, what it sounds like and what it acts like; he leaves us having been a mentor and for that we are extremely grateful.
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