CAMP RED CLOUD, Republic of Korea - It's two weeks from the big day for Master Sgt. Ramiro Cespedes. Actually, the big day is for his daughter, Cassandra, but the way Cespedes talks about the upcoming event, you'd think it was his special day.
Cassandra is 15, not such a big deal if you grew up in Ohio. Though, for those who grew up in Hispanic households along the Mexican border, the 15th birthday for a young lady has always held honor.
History book authors don't have a conclusive explanation of the tradition's origin, though most believe it began during an ancient civilization. Some Mayan and Aztec rituals were likely carried-on by ancestors and adapted as the years passed to become the present day fiesta acknowledging a girl's ascent into womanhood.
"It's probably the biggest day in a girl's life, second to her wedding," Cespedes said, as he packed the last of his things into his suitcase in preparation for his final few hours wearing the 2nd Infantry Division patch. Cespedes moves on to his next assignment at Fort Bliss, Texas, after his daughter's quinceaAfA+-era - a Hispanic tradition celebrating a young girl's coming of age on her 15th birthday.
"Well, she turned 15 in August, but I wasn't there. So, we'll hold the quinceaAfA+-era when I'm home," Cespedes said.
Cespedes spent 24 months as the noncommissioned officer in charge of the 2nd Infantry Division inspector general's office.
His co-workers say they know as much about Cassandra's "quince" as her dad does.
"He talks about it all the time," said Sgt. 1st Class Lloyd Pegues.
"If you don't get all the information from him for this interview, I can fill you in. I know all about it," joked Pegues.
But, it's the "brotherhood" of being in the Army that has made this birthday party even more poignant for Cespedes. He says the Army is so diverse that he has been able to share his story with friends and co-workers from all different nationalities and races, some who have never heard of this tradition. He really enjoys being able to bring his culture to other people.
Cinderella-like dresses, tiaras and cake aren't the typical pastime concerns of men north or south of the border. Cespedes' obsession with his eldest daughter's coming of age was born out of a combination of cultures.
First, it's something he grew up with.
"It's been a part of my family for a long time, ever since I was a little kid. I always knew I wanted my girls to have the experience," he said.
Add his lifetime of tradition to a military father's regret over being separated for the last two and a half years of his child's life, and you have the makings of one very involved dad.
"I've heard this story told growing up about a father who spent lots of time away working. Each time he returned to his family he would bring a toy or a doll to his girl. When she turns 15, he realizes she is no longer a child and he does not give her the doll this final time. I am going to present Cassandra with her 'last doll' as part of the quinceaAfA+-era."
Cespedes said this ritual is typical of the fiestas he celebrated for his cousins and sister in Mexico and it stems from a Mayan tradition.
"The family is welcoming a girl into society as a young woman, and this is the last toy she'll have from her father," he said. It's a way for a father to hold on to the final moments of his daughter's innocence before she becomes an adult and prepares to leave the family to begin her own.
"I have kept it so my girls do not dance and do not date and do not wear makeup until their quinceaAfA+-era," Cespedes said as he described another of the rituals associated with the passage into womanhood.
"The first dance has to be with her father," Cespedes said. That night will also be the first time she wears makeup.
But, before the party is the "misa de acciAfA3n de gracias" or thanksgiving mass.
"As Roman Catholics, we have a church service specifically for the quinceaAfA+-era; a priest will bless my daughter," he said.
After the mass is a dinner followed by a party, much like a wedding reception.
The planning begins years before and it involves the extended family.
"In the old days, the mother would go out to the family members with a big list of things needed for the quinceaAfA+-era. There's a special pen for the guests to sign-in with, a special necklace that says fifteenth, a special ring that says fifteenth," said Cespedes. These financial supporters are called "padrinos."
As a first generation Mexican-American, with most of his family still living and working in a small town in Mexico, Cespedes didn't want to burden them with his daughter's quinceaAfA+-era. Instead, he said he's lucky in that the military has been good enough to him that he and his wife were able to save up money over the last three years to pay for the $10,000 event themselves.
"With the economy the way it is, it's hard for some of my family to help, many are still ranchers and farmers back in our small village in Mexico," said Cespedes. "I know they would do it if I asked, regardless of their money situation. I just don't want to place that on them."
Cespedes said many times while he was growing up he remembered asking himself how his aunts and uncles were able to pull it off.
"No matter how hard times were, somehow everyone pitched in and made sure the ladies had their special day, even though they knew they were gonna be in debt for the next couple years," he said.
"I've seen my uncles; they'll get loans or start saving five years in advance," he continued.
The only exception is Cassandra's dress, a flowing burgundy tiered gown with embellishments on the bodice, which was given to Cassandra by her godparents.
"It's about family and community," said Cespedes. "We are welcoming all our family to come join us in the celebration."
Several family members will cross the border to share the day with Cassandra in the Cespedes hometown of Brownsville, Texas.
With three daughters, Cespedes says he's going to become something of a quinceaAfA+-era pro.
"We have some time to recover from Cassandra's party before we have to begin planning our middle one, Catherine's - she's seven. But, Chriselda, our youngest, is only two years behind Catherine."
Dad says he plans to provide each of his girls with the fiesta of her dreams and the cost is inconsequential.
"It's a once in a lifetime event for the girl. And families are so proud to introduce their daughters to society. That's why we still do this," the proud dad says.
Thanks to technology, Cespedes knows all the details of the party despite being stationed on the other side of the globe. He was able to share each step through Facebook and talked on the phone with his wife and daughter often. But, he doesn't take credit for any of it.
"I have to give credit to my wife; she's the one running around taking care of all the details. She's done a great job," he said.
"I feel very good about it knowing that he's here to help and it's great to know that both him and my mom are trying their best to get everything perfect for my big day," said Cassandra.
Mom and dad have a few more surprises for Cassandra. Along with a $10,000 party for 400 of her closest friends and relatives, she'll receive a bankcard with some cash already in the account.
"And the first thing she has to do is take me and her mom out to dinner. I want to teach her about responsibility and this is a start," he said.
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