Women's Equality Day luncheon puts spotlight on suicide prevention

By Mr. Kevin Stabinsky (IMCOM)September 23, 2010

Women's Equality Day luncheon puts spotlight on suicide prevention
1 / 2 Show Caption + Hide Caption – Carol Graham, wife of Maj. Gen. Mark Graham, deputy chief of staff for the G-3/5/7, U.S. Army Forces Command, speaks to an audience at the Women’s Equality Day luncheon at The Commons at Fort McPherson Sept. 17. Graham used much of her time to talk ... (Photo Credit: U.S. Army) VIEW ORIGINAL
Women's Equality Day luncheon puts spotlight on suicide prevention
2 / 2 Show Caption + Hide Caption – Graham spoke of both her sons, Kevin (right) and Jeff, at the event. Jeff, a second lieutenant, was killed while leading his Soldiers on a dismounted patrol in Khaldiyah, Iraq, less than a year after Kevin’s suicide. Graham told the audience about ho... (Photo Credit: U.S. Army) VIEW ORIGINAL

Better late than never.

Just as women had to wait until 1920 to gain the right to vote, members of the Fort McPherson community had to wait to celebrate Women's Equality Day (observed Aug. 26) with guest speaker Carol Graham until Sept. 17.

Although the luncheon, held at The Commons at Fort McPherson, was in honor of the ratification of the 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, Graham, wife of Maj. Gen. Mark Graham, deputy chief of staff for the G-3/5/7, U.S. Army Forces Command, used much of her time to talk about depression and suicide.

"It is weird how one dot connects to another.

When Susan B. Anthony spoke out (for women's suffrage), it probably wasn't popular. Neither is this topic (suicide and depression)," Graham said.

For Graham, suicide is a personal subject.

Her son, Kevin, who was studying to become an Army doctor, was being treated for depression when he committed suicide June 21, 2003.

Less than seven months later, her other son, 2nd Lt. Jeff Graham, was killed while leading a dismounted patrol foot patrol in Khaldiyah, Iraq.

"Both boys fought a different battle," Graham said, stressing to the audience that depression is a true medical condition that can lead to suicide when left untreated.

In losing her two sons, Graham said she had to deal with her own feelings of depression.

Besides medication, Graham said she found a way to channel her grief, shame and guilt over both loses into something positive.

Remembering the Jewish funeral saying, "May their memory be a blessing," Graham worked to turn her tragedy into a blessing for others.

Along with her husband, she established the Kevin A. Graham Memorial Fund at the University of Kentucky - where Kevin was studying - to raise awareness of the signs of depression and how to prevent suicide. She also travels around the country, speaking at conferences, seminars and workshops to raise awareness and share her story.

"We're all survivors of something. God can use shattered vessels," she said. "Remember, there is always someone to turn to."

Graham said that message is important, especially now, because many people might be experiencing difficulties with the upcoming closure of Fort McPherson and Fort Gillem next September.

Graham said because of this, she was encouraged to speak about her story by Col. Deborah Grays, U.S. Army Garrison commander.

"We have to give each other strength," Graham said of making it through the tough times.

Even for military personnel who don't suffer the loss of a job like the Civilian employees due to BRAC, Graham said it is still important for them to be aware of depression and suicide.

"Suicide is the second leading cause of death of college kids, ages 18 to 24, (which is) the same age group as a majority of Soldiers," she said.

Like woman's suffrage, combating suicide isn't something that should only be left to one group, Grays said, calling the fight against suicide "an American agenda."

Grays said inequalities still remain, and it is up to everyone to stop them. She added that just like with suffrage, women can lead in the fight to raise awareness about mental illness and the stigmas surrounding them.

"Henry David Thoreau said 'Most men lead lives of quiet desperation,'" Graham said. "This (suicide prevention) is not just an Army issue. It is a cultural issue."