Strong Bonds conference focuses on building the Family

Eighteen Aberdeen Proving Ground couples participated in a Strong Bonds conference

at the Harbortowne Resort and Conference Center located in the picturesque

waterfront town of St. Michaels, Md., Aug. 4 to 6.

The Strong Bonds conference is an Army wide conference for active duty military and their spouses.

The Strong Bonds conference is designed to help couples deal with communication issues and the stress of a modern-day military at war. The conference was paid for by the Chief of Chaplains office so that couples could attend the conference expense free (excluding transportation costs).

This is the third year that APG has participated in the Strong Bonds conference.

Chaplain (Maj.) Fred Townsend, APG chaplain resource manager and one of the conference presenters said that the Strong Bonds conference is a result of the Army's commitment to supporting Army Families.

"The United States Congress set aside millions for Strong Bonds Army wide to build the Family Army Strong," Townsend said. "They know that Army Strong equals strong Families, and one does not occur without the other."

On Wednesday afternoon Townsend and Aida Rivera, Army Community Service Family Advocacy program manager and fellow conference presenter, welcomed attendees to the conference. Pfc. Billy Pardue, a funds clerk for the installation chaplain's presenters and the couples.

Townsend said that the skills learned during the conference will be used to help couples connect

by giving them the tools to communicate effectively.

Townsend said that one of the goals of the conference was to encourage the couples to create

an environment where couples feel safe to communicate freely.

The couples were also asked to practice a communication method called the "speaker-listener

technique."

This technique is an effective way to communicate when dealing with difficult issues. When using the speaker-listener technique, the person speaking holds a card giving that person the opportunity to talk without interruption. The card delineates the rules for both the speaker and the listener. This technique enables the speaker to talk about issues of concern without rebuttal. It also teaches couples to paraphrase what the other person is saying for understanding and clarification, which promotes empathy and intimacy in the relationship.

Couples who attended the conference also were encouraged to share experiences with the group, so that everyone could learn from each other.

During the conference, Townsend and Rivera stressed that successful married couples view their relationship as a team or a partnership, who work together to achieve common goals.

"Marriage is two people from totally different backgrounds working together as one unit," Rivera said. "Two people effectively working towards the same goal make a marriage great."

Rivera added that couples who work together can handle facing stressful life situations better than those who do not. Rivera said that having a strong partnership builds a strong foundation.

"The couple that works together is like the little pig that built his house out of bricks," Rivera said.

"The wolf huffed and puffed but could not blow his house down."

On Thursday, Chaplain (Col.) Orman Boyd, installation chaplain, spoke to the group of couples

attending the conference.

Boyd said that he was really enthusiastic about the program.

"This program makes a good marriage better," he said.

Boyd acknowledged that military life can be stressful, which can strain a marriage.

"We signed up for a difficult task," he said.

Boyd said that the Department of the Army's senior leadership has shown great support of the Strong Bonds program to make Families Army Strong.

"Senior leaders want your marriage to be successful," he said.

Townsend said the Strong Bonds conference also serves as a time where the couples can

get away from stress of everyday life and have quality time to enjoy each other.

During the two nights the couples stayed at Harbortowne, they enjoyed shopping downtown,

boat rides, biking, swimming, or just spending some quiet time together enjoying the scenic view

of the harbor from the deck of their hotel rooms.

During the conference, couples were encouraged to think of other ways to spend time together

to strengthen their bond.

Several couples said that they would recommend the conference to other couples.

"I found the speaker-listener technique to be very helpful, a wonderful tool. I think that more couples should take advantage of this conference," said Maurie Pullicino, who attended the conference with Staff Sgt. George Pullicino from Headquarters and Headquarters Company, 143rd Ordnance Battalion.

Sgt. Kristina Ducheine, who works at Kirk U.S. Army Health Clinic attended the conference

with her husband Sgt. Jangardy Ducheine, 20th Support Command CBRNE. Kristina said that they learned communication techniques that will improve their marriage.

"It's a very good program. I would recommend it to all military couples," she said. "The techniques we learned are helping us a lot. They taught us to communicate better, and to think before fighting."

Ducheine added that she and her husband appreciated the serene harbor setting.

"I think it is magical. I think that the quiet, peaceful setting really compliments what we learned here," she said.

To learn about the Army Strong Bonds Program, go to www.strongbonds.org/skins/ strongbonds/home.aspx. To learn about future APG Strong Bonds conferences, contact Townsend, 410-278-8592.