
As the leaves fall and the drop in the mercury reminds us that the year is drawing to a close, a critical question arises for Soldiers and their Families: How do we navigate the stresses of winter and emerge stronger on the other side? Winter brings a shift in routines, shorter days and often increased financial pressures illuminated by holiday obligations. For some, winter celebrations may mean joyful gatherings; for others, they can mean heightened feelings of loneliness because of separation from loved ones. Amid these seasonal transitions, the Army wants to emphasize the power of strong relationships as a cornerstone of resilience.
Trust and unity are helpful for both Family well-being and mission success. Trust can help form the foundation of strong relationships, fostering open communication, mutual support and increased cohesion.
“By building trust within Family and within their units, Soldiers can be assured that they have the social support and psychological safety that they need in work life and personal life, “said Ian Gutierrez and Madhavi Reddy of the Walter Reed Army Institute of Research, Research Transition Office.
Building trust often starts with finding ways to connect with others.
Connection is not just a feel-good concept; it’s a fundamental human need and a critical component of resilience. According to an academic journal article "Social Neuroscience: Progress and Implications for Mental Health," while social interaction is important for everyone, it is even more impactful for those working in “team-based, high-risk occupations like the military.” The Army recognizes this, making social connectedness one of the six core competencies within its comprehensive resilience program.
“Social connectedness impacts resilience in the Army Community because everyone needs a support network to navigate the challenges and stressors of Army life,” said Erin Towner, Master Resilience Trainer - Performance Expert and Ready and Resilient Performance Centers program advisor. “Knowing that you matter to someone is essential to well-being and combats feelings of isolation and loneliness.”
While the Army actively promotes connectedness, certain stigmas and roadblocks may hinder relationship building. For example, some Soldiers may believe that emotional vulnerability equates to weakness. This stigma may prevent individuals from reaching out or forming deeper connections with others.
“There is often a vulnerability that comes with sharing our struggles and challenges with others; however, building strong relationships makes it easier to give and ask for help when needed,” said Heather Hassinger, Chief, R2 Training Branch.
PCS moves, deployments and milestones like marriage, divorce or having children can disrupt routines and can make establishing and maintaining relationships difficult. For Soldiers and Families experiencing any major life change, the busy winter season can add further complexity and stress.
“Relationships are work, and you might think, ‘Why bother? ’ when you know that your time in an area is limited,” said Towner. However, it might be helpful to be proactive during these times by seeking out opportunities to connect with others, which can, in turn, strengthen one’s support network and build resilience.
It can be easy to overlook the importance of social connections when life is smooth sailing, but nurturing those bonds can be a great investment in one’s future resilience. When challenges inevitably arise, a strong support network can provide the sense of belonging and security needed to weather the storm.
The Army encourages Soldiers and Families to actively invest in their relationships, dedicating time and effort to nurture these vital personal and professional connections. This effort can be as simple as creating a game plan to keep in touch with loved ones during the holiday season, which prioritizes genuine connection by being present, showing interest, sharing activities and regularly expressing gratitude.
When in person, consider setting aside time for distraction-free quality time. Plan activities based on shared interests, such as books, movies or hobbies, to connect and create positive memories.
“Put your phone down, limit distractions and focus on the people in front of you,” said Towner.
However, when separated by land or sea, Families can leverage technology to maintain strong bonds and stay actively involved in one another's lives. Soldiers can plan video chat sessions to stay connected with Family during holiday deployments or rotations.
“Some Soldiers might create a video while they read their children a holiday story. One Soldier who couldn’t be with his Family on Thanksgiving shared that he planned to FaceTime his mom so that they could cook together,” said Kelly O’Brien, Master Resilience Trainer - Performance Expert at the R2 Performance Center at Fort Carson, Colorado.
Initiating and maintaining social connections doesn’t come easily to everyone, and that’s OK. Resilience training highlights skills that can help Soldiers and their Family members enhance their relationships.
“‘Hunt the good stuff’ helps to build optimism and can be used within the unit, with friends or with Family members,” said Hassinger.
“The skill involves sharing good things with other individuals and taking the time to reflect on the good.” Implementing HTGS could look like reflecting on pleasant holiday memories or looking at photos together to reexperience the positive emotions they evoke.
Another skill used to engage others is Active Constructive Responding.
“This skill involves listening to the individual’s good news and showing genuine interest in the person by asking questions about their news,” said Hassinger. Consider using ACR when catching up with a friend or Family member over the phone or at a holiday gathering to get to know them on a deeper level.
“It (shows) you care about the person. Every time we respond to someone in an active constructive way, it is like putting money into the relationship bank (and) building our relationships,” she said.
Although building professional relationships shares many similarities with nurturing personal connections, there are some unique considerations to keep in mind. One can foster stronger professional relationships through mentorship, being dependable and recognizing teammates’ accomplishments.
“Acknowledge and appreciate the contributions of your colleagues,” said Towner. “Celebrate successes and offer praise for a job well done.”
Towner also said it is essential that leaders set an example by modeling these behaviors.
“Get to know your team members on a personal level and build genuine connections. Leaders can demonstrate vulnerability by being willing to acknowledge their challenges and seeking help when needed,” Towner said.
The Army also offers a wealth of resources to help Soldiers and Families invest in their relationships:
- Army Community Service offers programs and resources to support Families, including Family readiness groups, deployment support groups and financial counseling.
- The Family Advocacy Program provides services to promote healthy Family relationships, including parenting classes, anger management workshops and counseling for Family members.
- The R2 Performance Centers offer resilience training programs to equip Soldiers with the skills to cope with stress, build healthy relationships and thrive in tough circumstances.
- Building Strong and Ready Teams offers chaplain-led, community-partnered resources to strengthen spiritual readiness for Soldiers and their Families.
- Military OneSource gives Soldiers and their Families the resources to reach their goals, overcome challenges and thrive.
The Army community is striving to create a supportive atmosphere in which seeking connection is seen not as a weakness but as a testament to shared commitment to one another. By weaving a tightly knit tapestry of support and connection, Soldiers and Families can emerge from the winter months stronger, more unified and ready to face whatever challenges come their way in the New Year and beyond.
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