FORT BENNING, GA - Strong Bonds retreats strengthen marriages
- Couples learn communication on marriage retreats
- Army offers marriage retreats to strengthen families
- Soldiers work on relationship goals with Strong Bonds
Cheryl Rodewig
The Bayonet
Finances, romance, communication, parenting, the in-laws - those are just a few of the topics discussed on a Strong Bonds marriage retreat, said Chaplain (CPT) Al Wall, 1st Battalion, 19th Infantry Regiment.
The retreats help Soldiers work on their marriages and identify relationship goals, Wall said.
"It's pretty amazing that it's the biggest commitment we make in our life, and it's the one we put the least amount of planning into," he said. "Most people go into marriage without a plan. They agonize for hours and hours about their retirement plan or what color to paint the bedroom, but they can't say where they want their marriage to be in five years or what their goals are for their marriage."
The 198th Infantry Brigade holds about seven retreats per year for its cadre. The next one will be Nov. 20-22 in Panama City Beach, Fla. The retreat is free for Soldiers and their spouses and includes child care.
"My wife and I enjoyed it very much," said CPT Dan Keslar, who attended the brigade retreat Sept. 11-13. "We went just to reinforce some of the ideas and ideals we hold to. (Marriage) is forever. You stay committed no matter what, but just like every couple, we go through our hard times. We're striving to understand each other more, care for and appreciate each other more."
With a "captivating" and down-to-earth speaker, Keslar said he learned about gender stereotypes and how to appreciate the differences in the way men and women work.
Keslar's wife, Denyelle, said Strong Bonds was enlightening.
"The retreat meant a lot, just because we did spent quality time with each other; subjects were brought up that we needed to talk about in a setting that was relaxed. It opened up conversations," she said.
"Sometimes after you've been married for a while, you want to go out and do something where you can laugh together, something different. It was just a lot of fun. I loved it."
Laughter is a theme at the retreat. Couples learn about marriage and each other with the "Laugh your way to a better marriage" program. The issues the seminars help couples work through, however, are no laughing matter, Wall said.
"I've had couples teetering on the edge of divorce come away recommitted to each other," Wall said. "The divorce rate in the Army is pretty astronomical. The Army is just trying to help strengthen Soldiers and families, so that the support is there when they need. Keeping the family together as a unit is important. To strengthen families is to strengthen our nation, and that should be a priority."
The weekend isn't just for marriages on the rocks, he said.
"It's a tool every couple should have to assess their marriage and identify areas in their marriage that are causing problems," he said. "Marriage, like anything else in our lives, goes through wear and tear over time. It's just like your body. If you don't take care ... things creep in over time that you don't want."
Strong Bonds retreats are Armywide, said Chaplain (MAJ) Douglas Hoover, Family Life chaplain.
"There are Strong Bonds retreats for married couples, families and singles," Hoover said. "All of us can benefit from learning about positive relationships."
Strong Bonds has a unique military focus that deals with some of the difficulties faced with multiple deployments, field time and extended TDY assignments, he said.
"It's not therapy," he said. "They're dynamic and fun. People have real positive reactions and positive feedback. I highly, highly recommend going on one. It'll give you a boost."
For more information about Strong Bonds, visit www.strongbonds.org. For other resources to help with your marriage, call the Chaplain Family Life Center at 706-545-1760.
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