“The most challenging aspect of being a caregiver is balancing everything within the limited hours in a day,” said Chief Warrant Officer 2 Lawanda Lathan, a human resources technician with U.S. Army South.
This sentiment captures the daily reality of Lathan’s life, where she juggles the demands of military service with the intensive care required for her seven-year-old daughter, Layiah Alexander.
Born with a trio of complex medical conditions — Chiari Malformation I, Tethered Cord Syndrome, and General Developmental Delays — Layiah’s life has been a battleground of surgeries, therapies, and daily hurdles. Yet, both mother and daughter emerge as warriors, championing their challenges together.
From the moment Layiah was born, she had a calm presence that masked the difficulties she would later face.
It wasn’t until Layiah was nine months old that Lathan, guided by her instincts, noticed the developmental delays that would eventually lead to a series of life-altering diagnoses.
“As a first-time mom, I didn’t notice her developmental delays right away. After her daycare provider pointed them out, we received the diagnosis of general developmental delays,” Lathan reflected. “That began our journey into physical and speech therapy, and eventually, into the world of specialists where we learned about her other conditions.”
The path was neither straightforward nor easy as Lathan navigated the complexities of neurology and genetics to uncover the root causes of her daughter’s symptoms.
At just 26 months old, Layiah underwent a "detethering" procedure on her spinal cord, marking the start of numerous surgeries and therapies. Despite the hurdles, Layiah has shown remarkable resilience.
In July 2023, following a gastrocnemius recession surgery on her leg tendons, she began using a walker, steadily regaining her mobility.
Behind every step Layiah takes, Lathan’s unwavering dedication transforms their challenges into powerful testaments of resilience and determination.
“Layiah has a personality like no other. She is intelligent, empathetic, funny, brave, and determined,” Lathan said, her voice brimming with pride. “Nothing stops her once she puts her mind to it, and it has shown through the progress she’s made over the years.”
This determination is evident in every aspect of Layiah’s life, from her perseverance in physical therapy to her joyful interactions with those around her. Lathan often marvels at how her daughter navigates her challenges. For her, the real battle is not fought in uniform but in the small victories of Layiah’s daily life.
“Layiah relies on me for about 85% of her daily necessities, but she’s so determined to do what she can on her own. It’s inspiring to watch,” Lathan shared.
But being a caregiver is no easy task. Lathan’s days are filled with coordinating doctor and therapy appointments, managing school activities, and ensuring that Layiah’s social life thrives, all while fulfilling her duties as a Soldier.
“There’s never a moment to rest, but the most rewarding part is seeing the progress in my daughter’s well-being, Lathan admitted. “Watching her overcome challenges and achieve milestones — knowing my care and support played a role in that — it’s the absolute best feeling.”
Balancing the demands of being a Soldier and a caregiver is no easy feat. Lathan has learned to recognize her limits, seek help when needed, and lean on her support network, which includes her siblings and friends. Their assistance, particularly during times when Lathan is away for temporary duty or managing medical appointments, has been crucial in managing both roles effectively.
“Being both a caregiver and an active-duty Soldier can be overwhelming at times,” Lathan shared. “But I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help. My siblings and friends have been a tremendous support system for me, stepping in when I need them the most.”
Lathan also acknowledges the invaluable support she has received from the Army and other resources. The Exceptional Family Member Program through Army Community Service has been instrumental, assisting with her stabilization and compassionate reassignment, and providing resources like respite care.
Though Lathan had never heard of National Family Caregivers Month before, it has taken on significant meaning for her.
“This month is a chance for caregivers like me to truly be seen and recognized for all that we do. Often, caregiving is overshadowed by the role of being a parent,” said Lathan. It’s difficult for others to fully understand the level of commitment and dedication that goes into every hour of the day. My hope is that we can broaden our perspective and recognize the tireless work that caregivers provide to their loved ones.”
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