Military spouses are leaders and managers on the home front who serve an integral role in military readiness and national defense. Alongside many service members stands a strong and resilient spouse who provides unwavering support, understanding and sacrifice.
Whether it's managing households during deployments, supporting fellow spouses or embracing numerous challenges of the military lifestyle, the contribution of military spouses is invaluable to mission readiness and the well-being of military communities at large.
Five military spouses, from around the Monterey Bay military community, held a Q & A session and shared their personal experiences.
Delaney Laster, U.S. Coast Guard spouse
How long have you been a military spouse?
I have been a military spouse for 12 years. My husband is in the U.S. Coast Guard, currently serving as the executive officer at Coast Guard Station Monterey. I am a stay-at-home mom to our two littles and now that they are school-aged I am continuing my education to pursue a career in speech language pathology. I volunteer in my son’s classroom as often as I can and serve on the parent teacher association at his school.
What is your advice for fellow military spouses?
My advice for fellow military spouses would be to stay true to yourself, be gentle on yourself, and find your people at each duty station. As military families, we move around so frequently, and I love making connections with other military spouses who understand the adaptive lifestyle that we live. Before every move, I feel a little nervous about "starting over" in our next duty station but remind myself that I have always found fellow spouses who I simply adore. Military spouses are resilient, and it is important for us to remind ourselves how strong we are!
What is the best part about being stationed in Monterey?
One of the best parts about being stationed in Monterey is experiencing the beautiful surroundings. We have the forestry in Pacific Grove, the beaches along the coast, the valley in Carmel, and a plethora of farms. Another great thing is that there is a huge military presence here, meaning there is a high chance of connecting with fellow military families.
What are your favorite things to do around the Monterey Peninsula?
I absolutely love going to the local farmer’s markets and supporting the small businesses within the area. I love trying all the local coffee shops, my favorites are Sweet Elena's, Cafe Guarani and Tidal. I get excited about date nights with my husband, at the incredible restaurants throughout the Peninsula. We love spending the day at the beach, searching for sea glass, and walking the Coast Guard pier trying to spot otters and sea lions.
Joe Franceschi, U.S. Air Force spouse
How long have you been a military spouse?
I served on active duty, U.S. Air Force security forces, for eight and a half years before separating, and I have been a military spouse and traditional Air Force reservist for a year and a half. My reserve unit is the 940th Security Forces Squadron for the 940th Air Refueling Wing at Beale Air Force Base where I am a flight chief and standards and evaluation (QA) non-commissioned officer in charge. During the rest of my time, I work as a government civilian for the Department of the Air Force as a human resources assistant for the 517th Training Group Military Personnel Flight where I work with a team to handle personnel and administrative actions for all the Air Force personnel at the Presidio of Monterey and the Navel Postgraduate School.
What is your advice for fellow military spouses?
Stay engaged with your military member, try to understand their work and if possible, ask to see where they work and who they work with. This will not only help the two of you better understand what's going on in their life, but it will help them remember that they don't have to keep their military work so compartmentalized from you. Communication is key, and while some things they won't be able to talk about because of security procedures and policies, there are plenty of day-to-day things that can be communicated so you both stay on the same page with each other, and their work won't become a subtle burden in your relationship.
What is the best part about being stationed in Monterey?
Monterey is easily the most beautiful assignment we have ever received. As an outdoor and food enthusiast, there is an abundance of restaurants and activities all around this part of California. Best of all, military members and their dependents get free year long passes to U.S. National Parks, so I encourage everyone to get out and explore the beautiful nature we have access to.
What are your favorite things to do around the Monterey Peninsula?
My wife and I love walking the trails along the coast, especially this time of year because of seal pup season, because the Pacific is so beautiful to look at and you are almost guaranteed to see something beautiful in, on, or about the water. Roaring waves at high tide, the glassy reflection of a full moon on the bay at night, or all the wonderful creatures that live in the ocean (sea otters are my favorite). I also highly recommend exploring the local wine scene, buy the bottle subscriptions, go on vineyard tours, or just stop by the store and see what the local selection is, there are a lot of good flavors to appreciate responsibly.
Aubrey Kiemnec, U.S. Army spouse
How long have you been a military spouse?
I am an active-duty Army spouse of seven years. I have worked for Family and MWR for 16 years at a variety of installations. I currently serve as the FMWR program director at the Presidio of Monterey.
What is your advice for fellow military spouses?
You are SUPER HUMAN! You will encounter some of life’s toughest challenges as a military spouse and the best part is you never have to face it alone. There is an entire community of military spouses that can offer support, advice, or just someone who can relate. Often military spouses are so focused on taking care of everyone else that they put themselves last in priority. Do not put your dreams or aspirations on hold while your spouse is serving. There are so many resources to support whatever you want to pursue! Find ways to contribute to your individual success at each installation whether that be your job, your physical fitness or your mental wellbeing. If you keep adding to your toolkit, before you know it, you achieve goals that you didn’t think were possible during active-duty service.
What is the best part about being stationed in Monterey?
Living in a smaller town with so many places to explore both locally and within the state. Being in a location that affords our family the chance to just enjoy the time we have without a deployment or other stressors that usually come with being in operational units.
What are your favorite things to do around the Monterey Peninsula?
Explore! We love getting out and hiking with our son. There are so many picturesque spots in the area. No better way to end the day with trying out a new restaurant to replenish all that expended energy. Military life has its pros and cons, experiencing new places, cultures and food are our top benefits.
Kristina DeHoyos, Army spouse
How long have you been a military spouse?
It’s been 24 years! I was recently hired by Patriot Enterprises as a contractor. I am a military personnel specialist and work in the ID card/DEERS office.
What is your advice for fellow military spouses?
My advice to military spouses is to go out and meet people. For me, I am naturally an introvert, but I realized a long time ago that it is very difficult to survive without a few close friends. They become my chosen family when I am away from my immediate family.
What’s the best part about being stationed in Monterey?
The best part of being stationed here at the Presidio of Monterey is that there is always something to do. From local farmer's markets to parades and festivals and so much more in and around the area.
What are your favorite things to do around the Monterey Peninsula?
I am an amateur photographer at heart. I could spend the day in Big Sur taking pictures of everything! Then, finish the day at the beach, collecting shells and beach glass.
Katie Soltas, U.S. Army spouse
How long have you been a military spouse?
It’s been nine years, and I serve as an area director of field marketing for MidAmerica at Marriott International. I oversee a team of 30 marketers throughout the Midwest and Texas. I have more than 15 years of experience in marketing and public relations in the travel industry - and had the opportunity to work in Hawaii, Nashville, Texas and now remote, thanks to my husband’s military career.
What is your advice for fellow military spouses?
“Control what you can, let go of the rest.” If I could add to this famous quote, I would say to reserve your own identity in the process by continuing to pursue your passions.
What’s the best part about being stationed in Monterey?
Monterey is truly the jewel of the Central Coast of California. We feel privileged to live in this beautiful place and take advantage of all the activities the peninsula has to offer with our family. The local culture, mixed with the diversity of armed forces here, makes PoM an interesting duty station. You never know who you’re going to meet and befriend.
What are your favorite things to do around the Monterey Peninsula?
As a runner and hiker this destination is a dream come true. Exploring the mountains to the sea along trails is something we do often. My favorite part of the coastal trail is Asilomar Beach for the sunsets and beachcombing. As far as hiking inland, I love heading into Carmel Valley to Garland Ranch and Palo Corona Regional Parks.
Also, the wine country out here is fabulous - we recommend wine tasting along River Road all the way to the Santa Lucia Highlands. We also love heading down to Big Sur to picnic along the river and enjoy the gorgeous Redwoods...anything in nature!
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