We got married in jail.
Let me clarify: We were not in custody or under arrest – it just happened to be where the magistrate’s office was located during our last-minute real estate hunt at his next duty location right before he deployed.
Did we know we would be getting hitched at the jail beforehand? No.
Did it deter us from tying the knot? No.
Because you do what you have to do when military love strikes during war time.
In honor of Valentine’s Day, I would like to reflect on the very unique aspects of our Army love story, and how awkwardly and inconveniently wonderful (and, let’s be honest- downright maddening, at times) military marriage can be.
While not your typical fairy-tale wedding, it is par for the course when it came to our relationship. We met at work when we were both assigned to U.S. Army Human Resources Command in Alexandria, Virginia. We didn’t work together on the same team, but he was in the same building. I spoke first, and spoke with the most alluring and irresistible pick-up line ever crafted: “You should try the cake with the nuts in it – it’s really good.”
And then what did I do? Tried to set him up with my friend, Stephanie. And then tried to set him up with my friend, Mary Beth. Clearly, I am a genius when it comes to love, because he finally asked me to stop trying to set him up with other people and asked me out.
Our romantic first date? A Saturday breakfast at a diner frequented by elderly people, because his job in the Army’s Casualty and Mortuary Affairs Operations Center, where we both worked, was erratic and his hours were unpredictable. It was the only time he could manage without risk of having to cancel last minute.
I knew he was a gentleman at that point, and a keeper, despite him being a Florida Gator. I am a University of Georgia grad, and it is pretty much an unspoken law that Dawgs and Gators do not mix. We ignored that little law and moved out smartly in our relationship, getting engaged at historic Mount Vernon just after a year of dating.
Also moving out smartly was my new fiancé. He had orders heading to Fort Bragg, North Carolina, and then, on a quick turn, he was deploying to Iraq. We decided to combine a long weekend with a house hunt and an expeditious justice of the peace-type wedding for practicality’s sake. Our engagement announcement in the Washington Post romantically reflected our intention for a civil marriage, followed later by a formal wedding due to his deployment (spoiler alert – that never happened because, while that seems like a logical idea, it really isn’t after a year of everyone knowing you’re already married).
No one told me, when I called to set up the civil ceremony, we needed witnesses. Or that the magistrate’s office was in the jail. So, not only were we running around trying to find the judge, we were missing the other key people needed to make it happen. Thankfully, two lovely women waiting to bail their children out of jail graciously agreed to serve as our witnesses. They even cried and hugged us afterwards saying it was a beautiful ceremony.
And that is how we wound up getting married in jail and buying our first home together in Fayetteville, North Carolina, all in the same short trip (and to accommodate the “needs of the Army” as far as deployment timelines and prep).
And how did we celebrate our honeymoon? Driving back up I-95, so we would get at least a little sleep before heading back to work the next day. If you have ever driven the stretch of I-95 between Bragg and D.C., you know it can take anywhere from five hours to, seemingly, five thousand hours. What better place to start married life.
Our first wedding gift? It was given less than three hours after we became “Major and Mrs.” and, in keeping with tradition for newly married couples in their first year, it was paper – in the form of a speeding ticket from the Virginia Highway Patrol in Petersburg, Virginia, and yes, I was driving.
So, to my Soldier Valentine – Happy Valentine’s Day to the most patient person I know, and thank you for providing me and our girls a life of adventure and laughter, even though we may only see the funny AFTER the fact.
And thank you, United States Army, for being our Cupid in camouflage.
Staci-Jill Burnley is married to Col. Todd Burnley, U.S. Army. They have two daughters and are both assigned to commands at Rock Island Arsenal in Illinois.
Do you have a funny love story to share about your Valentine, courtesy of the unpredictable nature of military life? Share yours in the comments with the hashtag #mycupidwearscamo
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