FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. - A recent seminar for new fathers at Fort Campbell was sweetly interrupted. During the question and answer session, a toddler suddenly burst into the Family Resource Center conference room.
"Daddy, Daddy!" shouted little Emily Strother. The 2-year-old raced around tables and chairs to get to the arms of Pfc. Scott Strother.
The roomful of soon-to-be fathers, rookie fathers and been-there-done-that fathers laughed out loud.
Experienced dad Trent Brown III then remarked to Strother, "She's got a connection with you. Don't lose it."
The seminar that was called "When Duct Tape Won't Work," was filled with parental pointers and answers to tough questions. Denise Kendall, a home visitor with the New Parent Support Program who helped organize the seminar, said the pre-Father's Day event was the first of its kind.
"We found we have a lot of motivated dads who needed some advice from experienced dads," Kendall said.
Lead presenter Chap. (Maj.) Stanley Arnold is a father, a grandfather and a licensed marriage and family therapist. The effect children have on their parents is powerful, Arnold said. Even a heart hardened by combat can melt with one close encounter.
"I don't know what it is but you just kind of look at [your child] and your heart goes 'Awww!,'" Arnold said. "Isn't this the cutest kid in the world' The kid could be all ugly and you wouldn't even see it."
Arnold encouraged the new fathers to give into those urges to cuddle and snuggle with their young one.
There comes a point in the child's development though, the chaplain said, when fathers should definitely not give in.
As children gain independence, they should be made aware that they can't expect parents to bend to their every whim. Teaching those lessons early will pay off later.
"Between the ages of 2 and 3, that's when you win the battle of the teenage years," Arnold said.
It's the job of dads to prepare their children for adulthood. Arnold then gave the group a list of tips to shape the character and behavior of the children.
Strother's favorite tip was to whisper when the child is misbehaving rather than yell. That was the kind of parenting technique he could implement at home right away, he said.
Sergeant Andrew Seng, whose wife encouraged him to attend, was struck by Arnold's point about how parents define a child's understanding of how relationships work.
Like so many Soldiers, Seng had to father at a distance during his daughter Cordelia's first year of life. He was stationed in South Korea. To keep some presence in the household, Seng recorded videos of his life in South Korea and sent them home to his wife and baby.
That sped up the bonding process after Seng returned home in May.
Fears that his daughter wouldn't recognize him or accept him were quickly dispelled. The child played with him and clung to him as if he had never been gone.
Deployment was one of several hot topics that popped during the group's discussion with a panel discussion of six experienced fathers.
Robin Vozar, who raised a son and a daughter, said he spent a small fortune on long distance calls during his deployment to Panama in 1989.
The regular communication was worth every penny, Vozar said, because it kept him involved in the daily ups and downs of his family members.
Scott Morton shared stories about staying connected with his children through a journal that documented his deployment experiences and his thoughts about them.
The seminar's final session was conducted by pediatrician Dr. Quentin Humberd. Humberd, who serves as chief of Fort Campbell's Exceptional Family Member Program, covered key medical topics.
He stressed the importance of hugging, patting and other physical contact. Touch is a primary channel of communication for children before they acquire spoken language.
Humberd also urged Soldiers to attend well-child visits at the doctor's office so they are better informed about the proper development of their child.
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