Family Advocacy Program key resource for domestic abuse victims

By James BrabenecNovember 8, 2018

FORT SILL, Okla., Nov. 8, 2018 -- With the annual Domestic Abuse (DA) Awareness Month now past, members of the Family Advocacy Program (FAP) wanted to get the word out about Fort Sill's continued efforts to overcome this potentially devastating problem.

The FAP seeks to help Army families through the combined efforts of victim advocates, prevention and education specialists, and the new parent support team.

"We work together a lot, and they are awesome," said Michael Collins, FAP manager. "I believe this community is truly blessed to have this team who care so much about people and relationships, and who do their best to make a difference in the lives of our Soldiers and their families."

He said FAP is "heavy on prevention with the intent to be light on treatment and intervention." Through its prevention efforts FAP members hope to keep families together or reunite those damaged by domestic abuse, if possible.

"Our goal is that every person associated with Fort Sill knows what domestic violence is, how it happens, and how to prevent it," said Collins, who added,' "and then when it happens, how to intervene with support or who to contact to get support."

Throughout the awareness month, FAP held events intent to model good relationships. A 'paint it up' date night gave couples an evening of fun and relaxation while attempting to foster good communication. The FAP also displayed posters and signs in Nye Library to educate people about domestic violence/abuse and its prevention.

Later, they teamed with the 428th Field Artillery Brigade on an annual domestic violence awareness walk/run on 3-Mile Track. This year more than 850 people participated, said Desiree Anderson, a DA victim advocate.

Rather than portray the results of domestic violence, Collins said FAP personnel take a different approach to educating people.

"We don't show a lot of what domestic violence looks like," he said. "Instead, we put before people what a healthy relationship looks like."

"We also want people to know the resources we have on Fort Sill and in the local community that can help couples deal with relationship stressors," he said.

Family Advocacy holds monthly training for Soldiers on child abuse and domestic violence awareness and prevent. They respond to unit invitations with advocates speaking to groups of Soldiers or to family readiness groups, and also do outreaches into the local community.

Another tool Family Advocacy employs is a monthly calendar of activities it sends out to brigades. The activities can reduce the effects of loneliness or isolation. Almost every day there's an activity that is either free or very low cost, said Anderson.

Registered nurses, licensed clinical social workers, or licensed marriage and family therapists teach or lead FAP activities, such as the new parent support program and marriage classes providing valuable information to those in attendance. In addition, should they hear something of concern, Anderson said they will refer the person to the victim's advocates for follow-up.

Donabel Cate and Anderson are two Fort Sill employees making a significant contribution to prevent or deal with the aftermath of domestic violence. Cate is also a domestic abuse victim advocate along with Lorene Stamper, lead victim advocate. The three women maintain a constant source of availability through the post victim advocacy hotline at 580-574-0871.

Cate and Anderson come to their positions with a background in helping others.

Cate said she worked four years at New Directions Domestic Violence shelter in Lawton. A recent immigrant to the United States, Cate said in her native country she saw women and men get abused but not have access or immediate availability to resources, support, or assistance. This led her to want to make a difference here and help people get the assistance they needed.

With six or seven years worked in the field, Anderson said she believes it's a calling, though she also completed a master's degree in marriage and family therapy.

"I've always liked helping people. But, when I got into this field, it was different -- you really can make a difference. I could see at the shelter, women becoming empowered," said Anderson.

As for their duties at Fort Sill, Anderson said when they meet someone who called the hotline, they seek to build a rapport.

"We tell them the good and the bad," she said.

They advise victims that any form of domestic violence in front of children is a form of child abuse, and that by staying in an abusive relationship, they can harm their child.

Victim advocates also let victims know they aren't counselors, but instead people who can help victims find the resources they need to get through their situation.

Through efforts talking and informing a caller, Anderson said victim advocates hope it produces favorable results, something she called, "You do better when you know better."

She added without a model of what's right, some victims may have such distorted views of normal as to not realize what they are facing. "People's dysfunction becomes functional to them and they're used to the chaos," said Anderson.

Cate said victim advocates do a danger assessment as victims might not even realize they're in a dangerous situation. Armed with that knowledge, they also help create a safety plan with them.

Once all the resources and information are provided, Cate said the decision of whether or not to open a case is the victim's to make.

The two reporting options are restricted and unrestricted. Restricted does not allow law enforcement or chain of command involvement, and unrestricted provides all the same access to services and information. Though victims may choose a restricted report, Cate said the report may be changed by a team of experts to include family advocacy and legal intent to protect the victim and family.