FORT LEE, Va. (June 26, 2018) -- Amid the usually fast-moving world of decisiveness, planning, commitment and execution, recent high school graduate Kyra Sweat is moving at the speed of molasses. She has not made a decision to attend a specific school. There is no detailed plan, no commitment nor execution in the works.
In short, while many 18-year-olds will be mulling over college life this summer, Sweat has been allowed to bask in the comfort of not making a dash to carve out a career path.
"I refuse to pressure her," said Regina Sweat, Kyra's mother and wife of Sgt. 1st Class Tony Sweat, Directorate of Emergency Services, U.S. Army Garrison. "It's good that we mold our children as far as trying to develop their interests, but I want her to grow into who she is as an individual. (I want her) to find out who she is, and when she is ready to take on the next journey in life, she will let us know."
Kyra graduated from Prince George High School (located a short distance from Fort Lee) June 16, but the event capped a near tumultuous 18 months since her family arrived here from Germany. First, she was confronted with the challenge of a new location that lacked everything she liked about Europe; second, she had to wade her way through the unfamiliar social scenes to make new friends; and third, Kyra fell into Prince George right in the middle of her junior year. Her trials are not unlike many military children who sometimes experience a kind of culture shock when adjusting to a new environment.
"It was actually really hard," said Kyra. "The biggest school I had ever (attended) had like 400 kids, and this one has 1,400. It felt weird not knowing anyone … at my other school, I knew everybody because it was small. It was just the anxiety of being there (at Prince George)."
The pressures Kyra felt and the subsequent issues it caused nearly derailed her from the track of graduation. She received help and support from Prince George teachers who worked to keep things moving in a positive direction.
"They gave us all the tools to help her graduate this year," said Regina. "So, we're here and we're so proud."
In light of Kyra's readjustment issues, this was not the time to press upon her parent-sanctioned plans for college or career pursuits. Regina, who said she learned from her oldest that too much pressure and guidance can have a negative impact, put the ball in her daughter's court, giving her the space to make her decisions at will. Kyra's plans involve going to nursing school when she is ready and possibly exploring some charitable endeavor like Doctors Without Borders. She is not under the pressure of deadline, mandate or requirement and said she feels at ease to move at her own pace.
"The situation is not intimidating," said Kyra, who is aware of other parents who are instruction-oriented. "They'll say, 'Oh, you have to go into the military because I'm in the military,' so it's good that I don't have that pressure."
With the ease she feels to make her own career decisions, the realities of military life are still relevant. The family is due to receive orders for another assignment soon, and Kyra has to consider location and other factors in the decision-making process.
"If we were to go overseas again," said Kyra, "I would probably want to find a way to do volunteer work since I'm already in a different country. If we go somewhere else, though, I'm probably going to start (nursing courses) online and then transfer over (to a brick and mortar) school."
Although her parents are not rushing her into career decisions, Kyra said she does not take the situation for granted and intends to make good on taking some action toward self-sufficiency. She has this advice for anyone in a similar situation:
"Even if you don't have pressure, don't completely push it out of the way, and don't become complacent because then you're going to get really behind."
The Sweat's united front to do what is best for their daughter rests on her ability to do the right thing. Regina said she has no doubt her daughter will be decisive and do what is best for herself.
"I think we've given her an open opportunity to learn there is so much more to life than the pressure of 'you got to do this or you got to do that,'" said Regina. "I trust she'll make the right decisions."
The Sweats have four daughters, the youngest being 4 years old.
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