One by one, the children's names were spoken aloud, candles were lit, and the silence was broken.
"It's really our passion to change the culture of silence around pregnancy and loss, to speak your baby's name and tell your story," said Miriam Krause, the guest speaker at Madigan Army Medical Center's Third Annual Walk to Remember for pregnancy, infant and child loss at Letterman Auditorium on Oct. 13.
"It's hard for somebody to understand when they haven't been through it, so it's like that hidden pain," said Sgt. Tyrah Johnson, who joined in the event and whose son Tyson passed right before he came to term just over a year ago.
"I was 40 weeks and 5 days, so I was right there at the finish line," said Johnson, a transportation coordinator with the 593rd Expeditionary Sustainment Command. "That was the hardest and worst experience I ever went through in my life."
Joining in the remembrance event, though, with other parents who lost their own beloved children let her feel like she was honoring Tyson's legacy and celebrating him. "I want him to be known; I want them to know him," she said.
Dedicating an event for remembrance and reflection with others who experienced similar losses is just why the Walk to Remember ceremony exists.
"Healing isn't about forgetting; it's not about getting past or putting something behind you," said Madigan Commander Col. Michael Place, who later lit a candle for the children he and his wife Jackie lost -- Sara Golden and Patrick John. "Healing is really about remembering -- remembering and appreciating, remembering and mourning -- but also deciding to live, and live well."
Through speakers and music, a candlelit walk and fellowship, the Walk to Remember was a part of that healing.
Joining in the event for the second time is a part of Johnson's journey, one that started at Madigan when she received help from nurses after Tyson passed.
"Madigan had the best program… to go through the worst thing you could possibly go through, they made it the best they could," said Johnson. Even today, she seeks out the nurses and bereavement photographer who helped her the most -- Sandra Moore, Silke Saelens, and Megan Coker -- whenever she stops by the hospital.
Now she talks with a counselor regularly about Tyson, nicknamed "Bullet" by a fellow sergeant in her last unit who himself was called Shotgun.
"(He said,) 'He's going to be a little bullet, like me.' He nicknamed him before I even had a chance," said Johnson, laughing.
She talks about what Bullet would be up to today if he lived. Being willing to talk about the children they lost is the advice Johnson would give to other parents.
"You're still going to have the heartache and pain; you're going to have the hard days; you're going to have the good days," she said. "It's okay to cry; it's okay to just let it out. It's okay to speak your child's name. It's okay to talk about them."
Krause, who works with The TEARS Foundation, also encouraged parents who suffer the loss of a child to let themselves mourn.
"The best advice that I can give you is in your own time and place, embrace the care and comfort of others on this journey. Give yourself breaks, be patient with yourself, and allow yourself the time to mourn," said Krause, whose own unborn son died 24 years ago.
She shared with the twenty families who attended the reality that they will always be affected by their loss.
"In time we will laugh again, live again, love again," she said. "However we will not be the same, forever changed by the gift of our child living through us."
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