FORT RILEY, Kan. -- In their times of need, people of Fort Riley turn to chaplains, behavioral health specialists, psychiatrists, counselors and more to help them through. But if these caregivers are in need, who do they rely upon to aid them?
"In the case where the chaplain seeks care for the caregiver, there are several avenues," said Chap. (Lt. Col.) Shmuel Felzenberg, 1st Infantry Division chaplain.
For Chap. (Maj.) Christian Goza, 1st Inf. Div. deputy chaplain, he said the first avenue he takes is one that follows with his faith -- prayer. His second step, one more common among the married chaplains and other caregivers, is to lean upon his spouse.
"My care initially comes from prayers," Goza said. "Secondly, my spouse. But that's only if you're married."
Felzenberg said he also relies on his spouse for support, but stressed any chaplain or other caregiver who does so, does not reveal any confidential or privileged information to their spouse. All counseling they provided to others remains anonymous and secure.
"In no way during that unburdening or sharing does that compromise confidentiality," he said.
For some challenges and for those who are unmarried, a spouse is not available to help the caregiver through. That is when caregivers turn to their peers and colleagues.
Goza said he believes opening up to a fellow caregiver is easier when a strong relationship between the two exists. This is easily found for individuals who work in smaller sections for long periods of time. With time and close working relationships, they learn to rely on one another.
"A lot of times, the division chaplain and the deputy division chaplain, because of the relationship we share, I have to counsel him (Felzenberg) all the time," he said.
Felzenberg said other alternatives for him and other caregivers include friends they know they can confide in.
"Someone you can vent to who may not have all those answers, but does have a kinship or friendship and a love of platonic nature you can talk to openly," he said.
Within his own faith, Felzenberg said, a teacher-mentor, someone who he can trust to provide him honest, accurate information and lessons, is recommended.
"As part of the care for the caregiver for me … Jewish faith for me in my case requires or strongly suggests that every person, not just myself, have a teacher-mentor and/or friend confident," he said. "I don't mean teacher like your third grade English teacher, I mean teacher-mentor like someone you look up to, take their guidance at face value and as gospel. A person who if you do have an impactful life experience, trial or tribulation or just have an ideological or philosophical (situation), you can go to with all your cards on the table openly, candidly and honestly because anyone you don't have that relationship with, while they can still be of benefit to you, definitely they do not meet the caregiver type teacher-mentor."
However, not everyone has someone nearby they can rely upon, such as chaplains who have recently arrived without their family, are unmarried or are deployed. For them, they may not have close enough relationships to feel comfortable reaching out to a peer or colleague, Goza said.
"All of the care for the caregivers to me depends on the relationship you have with the other person," he said. "If they're brand new, it's going to be very difficult if they're struggling with something."
In those instances, caregivers may use outside sources like counseling through Military OneSource at www.militaryonesource.mil, which is available to active-duty service members of the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines, as well as their dependents and a few additional other individuals who meet specific requirements. Goza said Military OneSource offers 12 free counseling sessions per topic or issue.
"I know plenty of chaplains who have utilized that with success, no shame," Felzenberg said.
One of the greatest benefits of Military OneSource, Goza said, is that the counseling one receives there does not find its way into their file.
"And that's not brought back into the military purview either," he said. "I think a lot of Soldiers don't know that."
Caregivers are trained and practiced in aiding others using resiliency techniques and more, so they can help others through the challenges they face, Felzenberg said. These skills lend to making them more resilient and resistant to impactful situations they may encounter. However, those same skills can also make them unaware of when they need to reach for help.
"But that almost makes them more dangerous in the sense that the average person at least knows when they're approaching or reached their breaking point and hopefully someone is smart enough to consciously or subconsciously give off those signs or raise their hand and say, 'I need help,'" he said. "Unfortunately, it is probably likely there may be an over reliance or expectation at times that they're impervious, but on the other hand, in the case of many of them, they maybe do have a slight advanced threshold, so it might be longer for them to hit it."
In those instances, it falls upon their fellow caregivers and assistants to notice the subtle clues and signs something may be amiss, Felzenberg said.
"No chaplain is a standalone, fly alone, one person team," he said.
During times a chaplain may require additional support, like during a memorial ceremony, other chaplains come to offer their support, Goza said.
"All the memorial ceremonies we do, we try to have as many chaplains and chaplain and assistants there not so much for the memorial ceremony, but for the support of the chaplain that's up there doing the ceremony itself," he said.
Should a chaplain be involved in a high risk incident, Goza said, the chaplain reports it and the division and garrison chaplains get involved to check in on them.
Additionally, the Family Life Chaplain provides services and assistance to the one in need, Felzenberg said.
"No one is impervious to being impacted," he said.
Caregivers across the installation provide support to all members of the Fort Riley community, including one another in their times of need. But sometimes, it takes the intuition of someone near to them to catch when a caregiver is the one who needs care.
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