Though most parents agree that children should contribute to household chores, the reasons why can vary. Some cite equity: Everyone benefits from a well-run household so it's only fair that everyone contribute.
Others think about responsibility: Children should learn to take ownership for themselves and contribute to their community. Still others consider the practical side of things: Children need to learn how to do laundry and keep a clean house so that they can do the same when they're adults and won't have to depend on someone else to do basic tasks for them.
But is doing chores a job or is it an expected duty? In other words, do chores deserve a reward, just as a job elicits compensation?
The most common way to reward completed chores is through an allowance. Yet the question of whether a child's allowance should depend on chores turns do to make the household run, and perhaps neither should children.
The "right" answer to this debate can be a bit tricky. Every family is different and, rightly so, finds different ways to make thing work smoothly. But there's some reason to think that the best approach may be to keep chores and allowance separate.
First, research on motivation points to the value of cultivating intrinsic -- or internal -- motivation rather than relying on outside or external motivators. The idea here is that if chores are tied to money, children learn the lesson that the only reason to do chores is to get paid. And when children get rewards (e.g., money) for doing chores, they may begin to lose an appreciation for the feeling of a job well done.
Most importantly for parents looking to get the housework done, if children decide they don't need the reward or that the reward is no longer sufficient, they won't see any reason to do the work. Whereas, if children learn that they do chores because it's simply expected of them as part of the household, or because it's part of being a responsible person, or whatever reason parents want to stress, they'll be more likely to do them without having a "carrot" dangling in front of their faces.
Another argument for keeping chores and allowance separate comes from Rob Lieber, a New York Times money columnist and author of "The Opposite of Spoiled."
Lieber suggests that money management is such an important thing to learn in childhood that it should not be dependent upon whether or not children complete to be somewhat controversial. On the one hand, household work is just that: work. And doing it for pay can be a child's first experience with getting compensation for doing decent work. On the other hand, the family needs to eat, and dishes need to get washed. Everyone in the family benefits from things that just have to happen in the household. Parents don't get paid for what they their chores. He believes that children need to learn hard lessons about saving, distinguishing between wants and needs, making trade-offs, and making mistakes with their money. And they need to do this while they're still in a space where it's safe to experiment with small amounts of money, before they get to be independent when even small mistakes can quickly add up to financial disaster.
How can parents recognize the importance of encouraging intrinsic motivation and teaching money management while creating a mock work environment where children get paid for jobs they do?
One possible compromise is to keep a small, basic allowance and the essential every day chores as two separate enterprises. Children get a certain amount of money every week no matter what, and are expected to e.g., make their beds, clear the table, pick up their laundry, and unload the dishwasher without compensation.
However, parents can choose some extras, like mowing the lawn, taking the trash out, cleaning out the garage, and so on, that can be monetized. Do those jobs and get extra pay.
Parents and children can even work together to identify which tasks are in the first category, which are extras, and how to distribute the tasks among the members of the family. In this way, the concepts of equity, responsibility, and practicality come through loud and clear through the essential every day chores.
Additionally, children have the opportunity to go above and beyond -- and earn compensation for their effort. Both of those experiences will serve them well in their personal lives, and in their careers.
VanderBorght is a Child Development Specialist/Media Educator and the Family Advocacy Program Parent-Child Educator and Emergency Placement Coordinator for U.S. Army Garrison Italy. She has a Ph.D. in developmenetal psychology and is an expert in child development and parenting. Feel free to contact her directly with questions, concerns or comments at mieke.a.vanderborght.ctr@mail.mil, or DSN 634-6264.
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