FORT HOOD, Texas - The 3rd Cavalry Regiment hosted its first marriage enhancement question and answer forum Sept. 30 at the Ohana Place Chapel here. Capt. Stephanie Okolo, the chaplain for Regimental Engineer Squadron, spearheaded the forum as a discussion-based opportunity for Soldiers and their spouses to ask questions about being married in the military.
"Today's forum is for marriage enhancement," said Okolo. "It was an open questions and answer-based session that allowed service members and spouses the opportunity to learn from a panel of leaders in a comfortable environment."
The panel consisted of six leaders with different marriage experience such as: dual military, married to a civilian spouse, married more than once, married more than ten years, a women married in the military, or a civilian spouse.
"I've been married though deployments, births and relocations," said Sgt. 1st Class Ramant Stewart, a construction engineering supervisor with Headquarters and Headquarters Troop, Regt. Eng. Squadron. "As a dual military couple, I've endured different hardships than someone who is married to a civilian, so I feel I offer a wide array of experiences to the Soldiers who attended the forum especially being dual military."
The panel members answered questions about their own personal experiences.
"I'm not saying that the panel members' personal experiences are the correct formulas that everyone should apply to their own relationships. It's just one way to consider to solving an issue," said Okolo. "This type of training helped bring a wide perspective of views to help the Soldiers decide what works better for them."
The Soldiers in attendance had the opportunity to ask questions to the different panel of members by writing down their questions for the facilitator to ask the panel or standing up and asking the questions themselves.
And, no question was off limits.
"During the session, the disclaimer before the session started was 'What's discussed here stays here' and that helped service members and spouses ask all types of questions to the panel from finances to raising children. And, the panel members decided amongst themselves who is the best person to answer the question," said Okolo. "We give them this opportunity to express themselves and not hold back on any questions they may have."
"This training has really helped me to have a different outlook on my marriage, and knowing that Vegas rules applied really helped me to open up and ask questions to the panel," said Pfc. Myia Taylor, a patient administration specialist with the Regimental Support Squadron.
This event was sponsored by the regiment's chaplains as an alternative to marriage counseling or a married Strong Bonds event. Typically, a Strong Bonds event is held for three days at an off base location where chaplains train small groups of married couples on different techniques to help strengthen their relationships.
"I have been thinking of other ways I can help Soldiers other than just counseling, and I thought this forum was the perfect opportunity to do so for all of the regiment's Soldiers," said Okolo. "If one-on-one counseling isn't something the Soldier is interested in doing, this is another alternative."
Okolo continued, "I also wanted Soldiers to know they can go to [chaplains] even when they are not in trouble. And, I feel Soldiers have to know you and feel comfortable discussing their questions or concern with you. This is just one of many ways [the regimental chaplains] are trying to get the Soldiers to feel comfortable opening up to us."
Okolo said she often walks around to different units and talks with the Soldiers on a daily bases as another avenue she uses to get Soldiers to open up to her.
Although this is the first marriage enhancement workshop, Okolo has big plans for more marriage enhancement events.
"My overall goal for the event is to help strengthen the relationships of the regiment, because stronger families are the foundation for stronger, more resilient Soldiers," said Okolo as she pointed to her calendar of upcoming marriage enhancement events.
Both Taylor and Stewart said they are looking forward to the next marriage enhancement forum.
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