FORT BENNING, Ga., (May 18, 2016) -- If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it. That's all it takes to get people to win football games for you.
- Coach Paul William "Bear" Bryant
Thought-provoking words. This is not about football; it is about leadership. Coach Bryant's memorable words transcend all football stadiums. We can recognize much emotional intelligence in his wisdom. Real leadership cannot be possible without the attribute of emotional intelligence, which enables us to empathize with others, be aware of our own emotions and reactions, and build relationships.
Let's face it, leaders depend on those they lead: their people. Leaders can have the sharpest intellect, the brightest ideas, and even the strongest voice. Yet, all of this is useless if they don't connect with their team. People will be interested in what is in the leader's heart first, then what is in his or her mind. Big C for competence is relevant; nonetheless, BIG C for Caring is indispensable! Then and only then, people will begin to trust and follow him or her.
The point is, sometimes we are too busy with the "instruments" or the "tools" and forget about the operators. Strategies, visions and bright shining ideas, which can only be closely examined while wearing sun glasses, are useless without the operators (the people on the team).
But wait a second. Modern organizations should know everything about leadership. After all, we have a five millennia-worth of leadership experience - books, audio cassettes, courses and highly paid speakers. Yet, the irony is that many organizations often neglect the most basic ingredients to lead and win. Real leadership includes a sacred responsibility to the welfare of the team. So the optimum strategy to attain top results has been, is, and will be the optimum strategy to lead and guide the team. Makes sense?
Just like Coach Bryant, leaders put others before themselves. They are also sincerely humble. That's right! Genuine leadership requires an element of humility. A richness of arrogance, egocentrism and vanity blinds leaders. Real leaders do not fear being outshined by employees with superb abilities. Instead they wisely maximize their people's abilities and develop their potential. Leaders also recognize their own shortcomings and are open and candid about them which also contribute to build trust and strong teams. When leaders admit that they are not supermen or superwomen, their people respect them far more.
The ideal environment at work is a supportive environment that builds trusting relationships. Build relationships first; then, you will effectively lead them. Trust is the glue that brings the people together. Build trust to build teamwork! Downplay or ignore trust ... game over!
Conversely, without exercising emotional intelligence and caring for employees, a leader may not be genuine but, a "toxic boss." Some of the traits of toxic bosses include: lack of respect for employees, not taking the blame and not sharing the credit, poor listening, narcissism, taking full credit while ignoring his employees' efforts, craving for power and more.
Unlike toxic bosses, leaders who exercise emotional intelligence generate a positive climate and, hence, are more likely to get better results. Leaders take ownership of their organization. As a result, when something goes wrong in the organization they lead, they do not hesitate to say, "My bad ..."
Finally, let's compare Coach Bryant's memorable words to what a toxic boss would say. How would that sound? Perhaps it would go like this:
If anything goes bad, they did it. If anything goes semi-good, you did the bad segment and I did the good one. If anything goes really good, I and only I did it. (That's all it takes to throw people under the bus, to win an argument, and shine while eclipsing others.)
- Mr. or Ms. Toxic Boss
Editor's note: Marrero served in the US Army for 31 years, and is currently the Director of Special Projects and Instructor at Columbus Technical College.
He served as the WHINSEC Chief of Staff; Senior Analyst, the White House ONDCP; Military Strategist for Strategy, War Plans, and Policy Division, the Army Staff, the Pentagon; and Assistant Professor, West Point. Marrero holds an M.A. from Vanderbilt University.
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