Blessings Abound for Family Facing Health Crisis

By Kari Hawkins, Redstone Rocket StaffDecember 17, 2008

In Wheelchair
Lauren Gray, at home with her dad Rick, mom Lisa and twin sister Hannah, is living a happy, productive life in the face of serious health problems thanks to the united efforts of her family, friends, church members and the community. Recent community... (Photo Credit: U.S. Army) VIEW ORIGINAL

Rick Gray's faith has been tested to its very core.

And, yet, he counts his blessings every day. He's thankful to God for his wife Lisa, his twin daughters Hannah and Lauren, his church and community, and his job with AMCOM's Integrated Material Management Center that now allows him to work from home.

Those blessings mean a lot to a man who is struggling with incurable stage 4 Renal Cell Carcinoma.

But that's not the only health challenge faced by Gray and his family.

Since the birth of their twins in 1999, Gray and his wife have been consumed with the financial, emotional and physical costs of caring for one daughter's health condition while at the same time providing a strong family environment where both daughters have flourished. Their daughters, who are nearly 10 years old, are happy, intelligent and secure in their parents' love, despite having to cope daily with the problems associated with daughter Lauren's hereditary muscle and joint disease called Arthrogryposis.

"I have a strong faith that God will bring us through this," Gray said. "But I've gotten through the past three months on more than my faith. My drive is to make sure Lauren's needs are met if something ever happens to me. That's my job as a daddy."

Recently, the Gray family has reached out to the Huntsville community for assistance with their dwindling financial situation. They have asked for help to pay the mounting medical bills associated with the purchase of Lauren's new $37,000 wheelchair. They also hope to receive help with the purchase of a $10,000 automatic track lift system for Lauren's use in her bedroom and bathroom, and a new $30,000 handicap accessible van with a hydraulic lift.

So far, with the help of the community, they have been able to purchase Lauren's new wheelchair, which has given her much greater mobility and even allows her to stand up for the pledge of allegiance at school. Their daughters' school - Mt. Carmel Elementary - raised $3,000 toward the wheelchair. The recent Tuba Christmas concert at the Huntsville Museum of Art raised just over $1,300 for Lauren's medical expenses, and nationally syndicated radio personality Sean Hannity, whose talk radio career began in Athens, has donated $5,000.

Businesses, such as Southern Mobility in Madison, and Beauty Mart and Park Supply in Huntsville have made contributions to Lauren's needs. In addition, Magical Moments Portrait Studio in Lacey's Spring is planning a two-day event where 20 percent of all revenues will go to the Gray family. Members of their church - First Baptist in Meridianville - have taken up several love offerings for the Gray family, and continue to help with things like shopping, meals and yard work. Recently, the Gray family has also made contact with an organization called Circle of Hope that assists in finding resources and other sources of support for families with disabled children.

"We've just been overwhelmed by the support we've received," Gray said.

The Gray family is hoping others - including AMCOM employees - will make donations to a special "Lauren Gray" bank account they have set up at Redstone Federal Credit Union.

"Lisa and I do have good insurance. But insurance paid $21,000 of the $37,000 we needed for Lauren's wheelchair. The rest was paid for with donations," Gray said.

"In nine years, we have spent thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars for supplies and things we've needed for Lauren's care. The insurance paid a lot, but there was a lot we had to pay, too. One thing you realize with a child with a disability is that everything is expensive."

Gray said the cost of medical equipment goes up about 20 percent every year, and the pediatric equipment is more expensive than adult equipment.

"I've worked a lot of overtime to help pay for what Lauren needs. Because we both have good jobs, we don't qualify for any other type of assistance," said Gray, who has worked as a DoD civilian for 23 years and whose wife works for a defense contractor.

Because of her condition, Lauren spends most of her time in a wheelchair, and undergoes weekly physical, occupational and speech therapy. Despite her health problems, she excels in the classroom, where she has a wheelchair desk, and is on the fourth-grade Honor Roll. Lauren easily communicates and socializes with classmates, friends and family, and is a soccer goalie and cheerleader in Upward church programs.

"We try to get her to do as much for herself as she can," Lisa Gray said. "She's in regular classes, so she has the same homework all the other kids have. She can do some writing. She's actually amazed her therapist that she can write at all."

Lauren has very poor finger and hand control, and every joint in her body is affected by her disease. She needs help with things that involve motor skills, such as getting in and out of her wheelchair, getting dressed, and standing and walking. As she grows up, the need increases for an automatic track lift system so Lauren can move independently from her bedroom to her bathroom, and back again.

"Since I've had radiation, my bones are not strong enough to lift my daughter," Gray said. "She weighs 80 pounds, and I can't lift her anymore. I've dropped her twice in the shower."

Lauren has lived a better and longer life than doctors predicted when she was born.

"When she was three days old and the doctors said she was going to die, I fell to my knees and prayed 'God, take everything I've got - my house, my cars. I'll spend every dollar on Lauren. Just spare her life.' I promised God she would have her needs met," Gray recalled.

Doctors also said Lauren would never be able to feed herself and would always have to rely on a feeding tube, that she would never be able to sit up on her own, that she wouldn't have a normal life.

"They were telling me all the things she can't do. But I wanted to show them all the things she could do," Lisa Gray said. "At eight months, she sat up on her own. She actually grew ball joints, something doctors have never seen develop outside the womb. That was our first miracle with her. We've had many others."

But, those miracles haven't come without a struggle. Most of Lauren's first year of life was spent in the hospital or at home with 24-hour nursing care, with the bill escalating as high as $300,000. Lauren has lived through 12 hospital stays and seven major surgeries.

Three years ago, the Gray family moved into a new home designed with Lauren's disability in mind. The doors are wide enough to allow passage of a wheelchair and a bathroom sink is at wheelchair level, among other things.

"Lisa designed the inside of the house with Lauren in mind. We are always thinking about what Lauren will need as an adult. We asked adults in wheelchairs what our house would need. Because of the design, Lauren can go into any room in the house," Gray said.

The Gray family also needs to replace an old handicap accessible van that continues to cost them money to maintain.

"The van has been a money pit since we've gotten it. We've spent $7,000 on the hydraulics and they're still not right. The transmission is also starting to mess up," Gray said.

As Gray's own health worsens, he worries more about the future for his entire family. He was diagnosed with Renal Cell Carcinoma (kidney cancer) in 2004.

"They took one of my kidneys out. Then, in 2007, they found it in my lungs and they took out as much as they could," said Gray, who started working from home in October 2007. "Six months ago, they found it in my bones. It's gone from my hips to my spine to the base of my skull. We're trying to stop it right now where it is. We're pulling out all the stops."

That means daily radiation, chemotherapy and IV bone strengthening treatments at Clearview Cancer Institute in Huntsville. Those treatments leave Gray with severe headaches. In January, doctors will do an MRI to see if they have stopped the cancer's progression to Gray's brain.

But Gray often shrugs off his worries and his ill feelings to spend quality time with his daughters.

"I'm so proud of both of them. They are smart and they are respectful. We've taught them that the only things that matter are God, family and education. Everything else will take care of itself," Gray said.

"We do what we have to do to help Lauren. We persevere. As long as we stick together as a family, everything will work out. We may never know the why of everything, but the Lord will provide a way through every circumstance."

Editor's note: Donations for Lauren's care can be made to the "Lauren Gray" account at any Redstone Federal Credit Union. Donations can also be made by calling RFCU at 1-800-234-1234 or 837-6110 or by mail at 220 Wynn Dr., Huntsville, 35893. For details on the Magical Moments Portrait Studio fund-raiser, call 498-0265 or 656-1113.