It's not fiction: Protecting your children from Internet predators

By Eve Meinhardt, WAMC PAOJuly 2, 2015

Internet grooming
(Photo Credit: U.S. Army) VIEW ORIGINAL

FORT BRAGG, N.C. (July 2, 2015) -- "Everyone needs that face that they can attach to the story," said Alicia Kozakiewicz. "Like my face and my story. That's what makes it real."

In 2002, when she was 13 years old, Alicia was targeted and groomed online by an Internet predator. It started when she became friends with Christeen, a teenage girl with red hair that she met online. They chatted for months, sharing the secrets that only girls that age care about or understand. The only secret they didn't share was that Christeen was not really Christeen, she was a middle-aged man named John.

As their friendship progressed, "Christeen" introduced Alicia to her friend Scott Tyree. Over the months, Tyree turned into the one person she felt she could trust and an adult she could confide in. No matter how trivial the infraction, whether it was committed by one of her parents or one of her friends at school, Tyree was always there for her and always took her side.

In a testimony Alicia gave before the House Judiciary Committee Oct. 17, 2007, she said about Tyree, "this man was to be my abductor, my torturer, and he was my dearest friend."

After months of grooming Alicia online, Tyree convinced her to meet him in her driveway outside her home, a seemingly safe place to meet your confidant. On January 1, 2002, he pulled Alicia into his car and drove her away from everyone she knew and loved. He took her from her Family and locked her in his basement. There he repeatedly beat her and raped her until the FBI was able to find her and bring her home.

Alicia and her mom, Mary, now travel to share her story in hopes that it will encourage other parents to stay involved in their children's online activities and that children will realize that it can happen to them if they're not careful. They visited Fort Bragg June 19 to speak with parents and children at the Pope Family Readiness Group Center. Before the event, they stopped at Womack Army Medical Center to speak with pediatricians and other caregivers about adults grooming children online.

"This is something that the military community needs to start talking about," said Dr. Sharon Cooper, a forensic pediatrician at WAMC. "It's important for pediatricians to understand the dynamic of grooming, especially how it affects children."

Alicia's mother said that medical professionals are important in helping talk to children about the dangers that are out there and getting them to open up about something they may be experiencing. She said the some of the indicators of grooming are not always as obvious as some people might think.

"The question I always get is 'didn't you see the signs that something was wrong?'" said Mary when speaking at WAMC. "The signs? Like your teenager spending time locked away alone in their room on the computer? Being irritable? Not talking to your parents? Of course I did. Those are also the signs of adolescence. I have an older son, I'd seen it before."

Cooper said that everyone in a child's life needs to be vigilant to help protect them from Internet predators and bullies.

"Military Families need to ensure they are not relying on a false sense of security when it comes to our children," she said. "Living on post doesn't keep them safe, the Internet breaches all boundaries. So does texting and all other forms of social networking."

Alicia said that today's children largely judge their sense of self-worth on how many friends or followers they have online and how many likes they get on a photo. She offers some simple tips to help keep children safe:

• Never share private or identifying information, such as where you live or what school you go to.

• Stop checking into the places you go to online.

• Turn off the geo-tagging feature on all mobile devices.

• Remember that what you do or say online today will impact your future. Would you be embarrassed if your mom saw what you posted? Your teacher?

• Monitor your child's activity on the computer and all mobile devices. You're not invading their privacy or spying on them. You're the parent. This is your responsibility.

• Educate yourself on the applications and devices your child is using.

• Have open conversations with your child about the benefits and dangers that come with being online.

• Assure your child that he or she can always come to you for help.

Alicia said that she didn't come from a broken home. She was, and is loved, by her Family. They were involved in her life, but it still happened to her.

"The Internet is not all bad," she said. "There are amazing things available and so much to learn. However, children need to know that it's also dangerous. They need to know so they can protect themselves. It's a hard, uncomfortable conversation, but you need to have it. Ask them if they know what make the Internet dangerous -- start the conversation there.

"You tell your children all sorts of things they can and can't do," continued Alicia. "It's important to make sure you're sharing information with them on their level. To have that story, my story, that you can share."