FORT LEONARD WOOD, Mo. (June 18, 2015) -- While on active duty with the U.S. Marine Corps, I was often deployed or on temporary duty during major holidays or Family events.
My wife often speculated that I was purposefully trying to avoid her birthday in June to avoid the shopping (although gifts from exotic locations were always better when I returned).
I was never trying to miss her birthday on purpose and was always sad to miss out on celebrating with her. Besides, she was never big into celebrating birthdays, because she said they make her feel old. Truth is, it was harder for me to miss the other June holiday.
Since becoming a father in 1998, I have only been home for maybe half of the Father's Days. I look forward every year to getting a big hug or a nice gift from my kids. That is something that fathers of teenagers, like mine, might not get many other days out of the year.
That's why I hated being gone on Father's Day. It made me miss the chance for my kids to express their appreciation for what I've done for them -- even if they complain throughout the rest of the year.
My children missed out on having dad close during those deployments and unaccompanied tours, but it made those holidays where I was home that much more special.
Service members now can connect with their kids while away for extended periods. I recall something President Obama mentioned in his Father's Day address in 2013.
"Today we're blessed to live in a world where technology allows us to connect instantly with just about anyone on the planet," he said.
The technology was just not available early in my career to video chat or even call in some cases. It wasn't until my kids were older that I was able to sit in a tent where there was Wi-Fi and chat via a tablet. Even then, they didn't care for the novelty. They were more interested in knowing what I was bringing them back.
Being away from your Family is a part of the fine print when you sign your name on the service agreement to join the military. You're guaranteed to miss a major holiday, birthday or significant event every now and again.
While I am home with my kids on Father's Day, I will think about all of those deployed fathers who are not. I will hold my daughter's hug just a little bit longer than usual and will force my teenage boys to actually hug me, so they can all know that I am happy to be home this year.
For those who will not be home, I hope you have the chance to video chat or at least hear your kids tell you how much they appreciate what you are doing for them.
Happy Father's Day to all the fathers on Fort Leonard Wood.
(Editor's note: Standifird is a Public Affairs specialist with the Fort Leonard Wood Public Affairs Office.)
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