FORT SILL, Okla. (May 7, 2015) -- Breaking Bad is a three-part series about individuals who participated in the Army Substance Abuse Program and broke their addiction. The story will gradually unfold revealing how they got free from their habit. Both recovered substance abusers preferred to remain anonymous and spoke using fictitious names.
A TALE OF TWO DRINKERS
Sitting across from me at Pizza Hut is a recovered alcoholic.
You wouldn't know he ever had a problem from his casual dress or soft-spoken speech, but sometimes that's how it goes. They stand next to you at the grocery store, work next to you at the motor pool or, like now, have lunch with you on a busy Friday without the slightest indication there is, or was, a substance problem.
Mike Anderson, 33, did have a problem and according to him, just because someone looks OK, doesn't mean they are OK. Anderson didn't have any issues relating to deployments that he was trying to mask through the consumption of alcohol. No post traumatic stress or family issues he was trying to ignore. For him, excessive drinking evolved as he grew accustomed to it.
"It was a progressive spiral," he said. "I was drinking more and more and not thinking about it. My body got used to it. I was drinking a 12-pack every day and after you drink it long enough you don't notice what's happening."
That all changed in 2013 when Anderson went to go check on his wife who was working as an advanced individual training instructor. He decided to stop and pick up some beer at the Post Exchange and while going home got in an accident. He was intoxicated. To make matters worse, his two children, ages 9 and 8, were in the back seat.
"Becoming a father changes a man in different ways," Anderson said. "My wife deployed to Iraq, twice after she had the kids so I took care of them. I've always been there to protect them. I shouldn't have gotten in the car. I had no business getting behind the wheel."
Luckily the children were fine. Still Anderson's wife needed to pick up the children and he was taken into holding. While he wasn't required to seek help, Anderson said he realized his need for help and sought assistance through the Army Substance Abuse Program (ASAP).
"I tried to get help immediately," Anderson said. "I felt I didn't have a choice medically. I was going to kill myself with the bottle before I turned 40."
For Clayton Johnson the turning point was more subtle.
In 2003, after his fourth deployment Johnson, who was 30 at the time, found himself drinking a little more than usual. He said he was somewhat aware of his increase of drinking, however, it was his wife who spoke up and suggested he seek help.
"I didn't pay attention but I was sleep walking, excessively drinking, I was hiding drinks, not spending time with my family," Johnson said. "My wife noticed it a lot. I just liked to drink, sleep, wake up and drink again. I was missing the things in-between. Things with my family."
Although Johnson doesn't believe his alcohol consumption was directly related to his deployments or post traumatic stress disorder, he does acknowledge that they may have had a part to play.
"Some of it was related to deployments," he said. "After so many times it takes its toll."
Johnson was hesitant about seeking help. As a self proclaimed "good Soldier," he never got into trouble. At the time he was also a sergeant first class and worried his leadership would punish him for self enrolling in ASAP. Even if they didn't punish him directly, he worried his peers and those Soldiers who worked for him would change their opinion of him.
In addition Johnson was in the process of going from enlisted to officer and had concerns his decision to admit a weakness would reflect poorly on him.
"It didn't matter (if there were negative repercussions)," he said. "I was willing to risk it."
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