FORT CARSON, Colo. -- Recently I received an email giving me two options for annual Sexual Harassment/Assault Response and Prevention refresher training. One was the normal PowerPoint training seminar and the other was to hear a guest speaker talk -- I chose the latter for something different.
What a surprise, it was one of the best presentations on the subject of sexual assault/harassment that I have heard in my 20-plus years in active and civilian military service. Veraunda Jackson personalized the issue and put it in terms that were easy to relate to and understand.
It got me thinking of how far we, as a military, have come since I came in as a young officer in the early 1990s. Right before I came on active duty in September 1991, the Navy had the Tailhook scandal where more than 100 Navy and Marine Corps aviation officers were alleged to have sexually assaulted at least 83 women and seven men, or otherwise engaged in "improper and indecent" conduct at the Las Vegas Hilton during the 35th Annual Tailhook Association Symposium.
This was the first time that I can recall sexual assault was highlighted in the military -- it rocked all the services. I was the only female in my training class, and I distinctly remember the first few weeks when I would walk into the room, all the men would shut up because they were so afraid of saying something to me that could be construed as sexual harassment. It was extremely uncomfortable for me because I had never experienced not being part of the team, and it was very uncomfortable for my classmates because they didn't know how to treat me. We worked it out, but throughout the first few years there were many incidents where military men and women didn't interact well because of the fear of being accused of sexual harassment.
There was still the view that the victim was at fault, which I do believe still exists in many incidents that go unreported today. Questions like "Were you drinking?" "How were you acting?" and "What were you wearing?" would make it feel like you, as the victim, were at fault.
One of the biggest arguments I ever got into with my mom dealt with the "what were you wearing" issue. She was a nurse at a jail at the time and was telling me a story about two girls being brought into the jail for underage drinking. As the story went along, she told me they were wearing maxi dresses and no under clothes and obviously they were asking for it. My anger immediately spiked. I asked her what she meant by that statement, and she explained that a girl doesn't dress like that if she didn't want sex, and shouldn't be upset if a guy takes advantage. I was floored; my mom and I had always looked at things relatively the same. How could we be so disconnected on this?
I explained quite heatedly that it doesn't matter what anyone is wearing -- that it didn't excuse anyone from trying to sexually assault her. I continued that her view made it seem that all men were monsters that couldn't control themselves if a girl showed some skin. If I was a male, I would have been greatly offended by this view. We agreed to disagree on the subject and have never discussed it since then because our generational gap is too large to gain understanding for either of us.
In Jackson's presentation, the thing that hit me the most was the fact many people don't believe the victim when she comes forward and ask those hated questions. I'm guilty myself of thinking these same when I hear of a situation and false reporting is way less than many of us have been led to believe.
It's true we don't want to believe one of our brothers or sisters could have been violated in this way regardless if it was before they came into military service or while they were serving. We also don't want to believe one of our brothers or sisters in arms would violate our "family" in this way.
However, we must believe the victim when she comes forward and we must take it seriously and investigate it. There is no place for sexual assault and harassment in the military -- that also means calling out your buddy when he says something off color about anyone.
Through my time, the military has come a long way in highlighting the importance of eliminating sexual assault/harassment, but it still exists and it is up to each one of us to eradicate it from our forces to remain the strongest military force in the world.
The next SHARP refresher training is scheduled for May 13 in Building 1118 conference room.
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