FORT SILL, Okla. (Oct. 23, 2014) -- Being an Army spouse can seem intimidating at first, not knowing certain protocols, being bombarded with an endless supply of acronyms, and navigating an unfamiliar post.
A new town, new people, and new life. It can be overwhelming and sometimes the urge to run and hide begins to sound like a good idea.
For one new Army spouse, however, this strange new world presented an opportunity for her to embrace the military life and open herself to becoming a leading example of what it means to be an Army spouse.
Kendra Nedd's story began after her husband left for Basic Combat Training. Nedd was left to figure out the first steps of her journey alone.
"It was kind of chaotic at first, because I didn't know what to expect. But my uncle is in the Air Force, so my aunt helped me a lot. As soon as he left for basic, I went to get my ID card, that was pretty easy, I figured that out on my own," she said.
Support from her husband's command during his Initial Entry Training made the transition easier and helped to alleviate a lot of the fears she might have had.
"When I went to his basic training graduation we got a spouses' class. They told me from point A to point B on what I need to do. How to do it and where I need to go. It was really awesome taking that class," Nedd said. "I've heard from other spouses that they never got any of that, and I did, which made it so much easier. I was able to schedule the move, I did that all on my own."
Nedd and her husband, Pfc. Jeremy Nedd, arrived at Fort Sill in August 2013. This was their first duty station.
"I knew it was going to be really hard, this was my first time I've ever been away from my family. I have younger siblings and that touches my heart to be away from them. My youngest brother is 6, so he still doesn't really understand why I have to be so far away yet," she said. "We arrived here right before my birthday and then the holidays … it was the first time apart for those, so I just thought to myself, I have to get involved, otherwise I'm going to go crazy."
That was when Nedd decided to make Fort Sill part of her family.
"I thought when I first moved here, I'm never going to make this my family, my home is my home, this is not my home. Now I'm like, this is my home … this is my life."
Nedd found the Patriot Spouses' Club (PSC) was holding its sign-up event at the end of August.
"I went to that, and that's where I met the Girl Scouts. They needed a leader, or a co-leader … so I became a co-leader for the Brownies, and I became a member of the Patriots Club. Then I started working at Tara Tiny Tots. I've been there for about 10 months," said Nedd. "Now I am just really, really busy, which I like."
Over a year later, Nedd volunteers her time with the Patriot Spouses' Club, Fort Sill Girl Scouts, and is employed part-time. Her level of involvement has helped enable her become more comfortable with her role as a military spouse.
However, there are still many challenges she faces, the biggest being the uncertainty.
"You really never know what is going to happen, you're not stable, even though you think you have a house and all that … you can leave at any minute and you worry about friends too," Nedd said.
She also describes feeling more sensitive about the news and of war movies because now she can imagine what it is like and how it must feel.
Nedd says, "we've yet to go through our first deployment, but I feel we are both ready for it."
Her involvement and job have given her stable ties to the community, so she would remain here if he did deploy, knowing she has a strong support system in place.
Nedd said she is looking foward to many great things in her future as an Army spouse, and that her positive attitude and outlook make an impact in all the work she does on post.
This year, she is the welfare chairwoman on the PSC board -- the position that coordinates the postwide holiday gift wrapping event at the PX, and handles all applications from various military organizations requesting donations.
Nedd also works as committee chair for coordinating the convenience store during the PSC Casino Night. As a Brownie co-leader, she said looks forward to camping, helping with Thinking Day, and teaching the girls about Scouting.
Still a new military spouse herself, Nedd urges others who are new to go out, get up, and get involved.
"I do think that a lot of wives think that they can't get into so much things and be so involved because of rank. My husband is an E-3, he's junior enlisted, and I do all this. Don't let a thing like rank stop you."
"This is a really hard life that we live, a lot of people don't understand it ... how many people can say they have to move for their husband's job like we do and be 100 percent OK with it. No one will tell you that, ever. But you know what, it's OK to cry, don't feel like you can't," Nedd said. "There are days that I come home and I'm like, whew, what did I get myself into ... it's a lot, (especially) not having my actual family (here), but I wouldn't change it for anything. I love being so involved."
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