FORT SILL, Okla. (Feb. 20, 2014) -- Nov. 12, 2006, is a day Betty Cerrone and her husband will never forget. That was the day they received word their son, Michael, had been killed in Iraq.
The day started out like any other Sunday as Betty and her husband, Brig. Gen. Jim Cerrone, visited with family back home in Worcester, Mass., before he retired from the staff of 18th Airborne at Fort Bragg, N.C., and moved to live in Lawton.
"I knew something wasn't right when we opened the front door of my dad's house and saw men in green uniforms," Betty said. "They were from the notification team and had tracked us all the way from Bragg to my dad's house. It was very shocking, and I knew that it was a very bad sign."
First Lt. Michael Cerrone, A Company, 2nd Battalion, 505th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 82nd Airborne Division, was the platoon leader and riding in the lead Humvee of a convoy patrolling near Samarra, Iraq. The convoy stopped, and Cerrone got out to check out a suspicious vehicle while his gunner, Spc. Harry "Buck" Winkler, also of 2nd Battalion, 505th PIR, covered him. That's when an improvised explosive device exploded, killing Cerrone and Winkler.
There were somewhat conflicting reports as to whether the explosive device was in the suspicious vehicle, or was strapped to an Iraqi man who came out of the vehicle and detonated the device.
"We tend to believe the version the government told us, that they were on patrol and the vehicle was approached from Michael's side by a vehicle-borne IED. No matter what happened, both Michael and his gunner Buck Winkler were killed," said Betty.
Winkler left behind a wife, Charity, and one son, Owen. Cerrone was single. He was posthumously promoted to captain.
"As much as it hurt us to lose Michael, I grieve for Winkler's young wife and son," she said. Betty was presented a Gold Star pin at Michael's funeral.
The Gold Star lapel pin is presented to surviving spouses, parents and immediate family members of armed forces members killed in combat. The observance goes back to World War I and became more widespread during World War II, when family members would put a Blue Star banner in the window of their homes to signify a loved one was serving overseas. They would put a Gold Star banner in the windows, to signify that they had lost a family member in battle. Now, the most common displays are the Gold Star lapel pins worn by surviving spouses, parents and family members.
But many people don't recognize or understand the serious significance of the Gold Star pins, as Betty was soon to discover.
"Shortly after we moved back to Lawton, I was wearing the Gold Star pin around a bunch of civilians who had no clue what it means. Somebody said "What a lovely pin! Where did you find that?"
I was stunned! All I could do was choke on my reply. After a while I tried to make it an educational opportunity by saying "Let me tell you about this pin."
That's how I looked at it. But it was very hard because it was early on after Michael was killed and the feelings were very, very raw," she said.
On another occasion, wearing the Gold Star pin opened up a door for Betty to talk to a survivor.
"I was standing next to a lady who was in line at the store and I saw she had on a Gold Star pin. And I said to her, "I hope you don't mind me asking about your pin. I'm a Gold Star mother, too." She said it was for her son-in-law who had been killed in combat. But, she was so grateful to have the opportunity to talk to somebody," Betty said. "I see them on our older veteran's wives or widows, but it's very rare for me to see them since we retired out here."
"We're not your typical Gold Star family. We moved to Oklahoma from Bragg a week after we buried Michael, and because my husband was a general, we had more people coming forward to offer us help than most survivor families have. But I think the Gold Star program and the Survivor Outreach Services programs are great for helping moms and their children, or husbands and their children who have lost a service member and are left to pick up the pieces and carry on," she said.
"And I think the program that the Army has launched to get the word out about the Gold Star families and the survivor assistance programs is wonderful. I think the best thing is to get the word out and have everyone in our country recognize what it means."
"I pray for the families. I pray every day for all those family members who have lost loved ones, not just our family but every family who has lost a loved one in combat. Fort Sill and Lawton do a very good job of taking care of their own," Betty said, adding "The Gold Star pins are a lovely symbol of something that is very sacred and that has a lot of meaning for the families of those service members who were lost serving their country."
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