Soldier Mom Focuses Retirement On Her Family

REDSTONE ARSENAL, Ala. -- Sgt. First Class Fualole Gaston has taken care of Soldiers and their families for nearly her entire Army career.

Now, after 21 years of putting Soldiers first, Gaston recently retired from the Aviation and Missile Command, putting her own family -- including a six-year-old daughter and two teenagers still living at home -- permanently at the top of her 24-hour, seven-days-a-week priority list. As one half of a dual military couple, Gaston and her husband -- Master Sgt. Edward Gaston -- have made sacrifices that most parents of five children don't have to face when juggling two careers.

"That was my passion -- always taking care of Soldiers and Soldier families," Gaston said of her career as an as equal opportunity advisor in Army Human Resources. "Soldiers give so much to the Army. They give it their all. So, when it came to their personnel paperwork, re-assignments, leave, benefits and all the other Human Resources actions that need to be taken care of, I always wanted to be able to give Soldiers my best.

"As a Human Resources specialist in the Adjutant General Corps, we take care of Soldiers from the beginning of their careers until the end. They deserve our best."

For Gaston, her best included being a single Soldier parent during her husband's deployment to Bosnia in 1999, and being separated from her family during a 2008 deployment to Iraq that overlapped with her husband's deployment, causing the couple to lean on their own parents to care for their children for eight months. Her best included finding ways to take care of the children when they got sick, despite the mission demands of the Army, and being the best mom possible while in uniform.

"It's tough raising kids with one military career, but it's especially difficult when you are dual military," said Gaston during an afternoon interview at her home that included her husband and three youngest children. "If the kids got sick, one of us had to get off, even if the Army mission needed us there. The two of us had to juggle back and forth so that we could be there for our kids with both of us wearing the uniform."

The couple's two oldest daughters -- Aurial, a college student in Savannah, Ga., and Nalyassa, who is working Miami -- were born in Kansas while Sakeena, a junior at Columbia High School, was born in Turkey; and Edward Jr., an eighth grader at Williams Middle School, and Demetrius, a first grader at Williams Elementary School, were born in Hawaii during two different assignments there.

"I kept serving during my pregnancies. I did have the option to get out of the Army, but I never wanted to use my pregnancies as a reason to get out," Gaston said. "Our goal was for my husband and I to retire together. That's changed a little bit because of our family situation. But that's okay, too."

They participated in the Married Army Couple Program. The Human Resources military occupational specialty -- a specialty found at every installation -- made it easier for the Army to give them joint domicile assignments.

But moving was always a challenge, especially as the Gaston family grew in numbers.

"We treated our moves like military operations," Gaston said. "It was Operation Time To Go. The kids would go through their belongings and decide what they wanted to keep. We'd help prepare them to say goodbye to their friends and we would talk about what to expect at the new location.

"As the kids got older, I would have them research where we were going. They would find what kinds of things we can do at the new place, and what kinds of shops and restaurants we would have there."

During those years, Gaston had her mother and father, Patrick and Faamaopo Ifopo, to provide parental support when work required long hours and family separations.

"Having my parents around made it so much easier," Gaston said. "Because of my parents, we didn't have to worry about the kids when we were out taking care of Soldiers and taking care of the mission."

The couple had to call on grandparent support in a big way in 2008-2009 when both were stationed in their home state of Hawaii as Human Resources non-commissioned officers in charge and their deployments to Iraq overlapped. Her husband deployed in February 2008 to Forward Operating Base Bernstein and Gaston deployed for a year in October 2009 to Camp Taji. She was assigned to a support battalion, traveling throughout Iraq to provide HR support to infantry, military police, intelligence, signal and engineer Soldiers.

"It was best for us to be deployed out of Hawaii because that's where we had family," Gaston said.

"But, it's still hard because you are the one who wants to raise your kids," added her husband. "Grandparents are great, but when you are the parent you want to be there."

Between them, the Gastons were separated from their children -- either at the same time or separately -- for a total of 22 months.

Now, with three children at vastly different stages of their education -- six-year-old Demetrius is going into first grade at Williams Elementary School; Edward Jr. is going into eighth grade at Williams Middle School and Sakeena will be a junior at Williams High School -- putting down family roots is important to Gaston.

"A lot of the decisions we've made have been based on the fact that throughout our lives there was another move coming up," Gaston said. "But, eventually, everyone has to have a place they call home. This is our home."

The Gaston family loves the Huntsville/Madison area, although their first impressions were less than enthusiastic before they moved here three years ago.

"When they told us, I was, like, 'What is a Huntsville? That's country,'" Sakeena said.

"I asked if they hunt here because the name Huntsville has the word 'hunt' in it," Edward said.

"First, I thought it was going to be country, so I didn't think I would like it," Sakeena added. "And, then I saw pictures on the internet of all the rockets in Huntsville. So, then I didn't like it because I don't like any of that science and technology stuff. But I like it now."

It was the first big move for Demetrius.

"I was most worried about her because with my parents taking care of her we didn't put her in Pre-K. I was worried about how she would react with a new environment and having to meet new kids for the first time," Gaston said. "But she had the easiest connection of the three."

It wasn't the family move to Huntsville, which included Gaston's parents, or the children's wide range of age-related activities that made Gaston decide it was time to retire. Rather, it was the death of her mother in 2013.

"The dynamics of our family have change," Gaston said.

"My mother isn't here with us to take care of our children when something comes up suddenly. And, military operation wise, there's a lot going on and a lot of demands. My husband and I talked. We thought about, 'What would be best for our family, especially with the kids really growing older and needing more attention?' We made the decision that one of us needed to retire."

Gaston joined the Army in 1995, leaving her home in Hawaii for Fort Riley, Kansas, where she met her husband, who was then a mail clerk. After a little more than a year of dating, the couple began talking about getting married.

"I was assigned to go to Korea, and I was trying to decide if we should get married when I came back or at the mid-term of my assignment," Gaston's husband recalled. "I was told if I waited until I got back, then she would be gone, she would be PCSed to her next duty station before my time in Korea was over. But, if we got married, then we would qualify for joint domicile status and she wouldn't be assigned to a different duty station until I got back and we were assigned together. So, that's what was did."

And the rest is the story of two Soldiers who worked together to raise their children and answer the call of military service. When asked if she is enjoying retirement, Gaston smiled and her eyes twinkled, and she nodded to the children sitting next to her.

"See where I'm at. I'm loving it. I'm with my kids," she said.

"I do miss helping Soldiers. But I'm happy to spend my time here at home with my kids. This is what I've missed out on."