Caregivers learn, share at USO conference

By Lori Newman, JBSA-Fort Sam Houston News LeaderJune 8, 2012

Kathreyn and Shilo Harris
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Karen and Ed Matayka
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Panel at Caregiver Conference
3 / 4 Show Caption + Hide Caption – The conference concluded with a panel discussion featuring Gabriele Dias, director of the Fort Sam Houston Soldier and Family Assistance Center; Nate Smith, executive director of Hire Heroes USA; and Ann Alvarez, military service coordinator, U.S. De... (Photo Credit: U.S. Army) VIEW ORIGINAL
Blair Bloomston and Gabriel Marcum
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JOINT BASE SAN ANTONIO -- Caregivers gathered at the Joint Base San Antonio Sam Houston Community Center May 30 to tackle issues facing those who care for wounded, ill and injured service members.

The conference, sponsored by the USO, offered tips on communication, helping children cope with reintegration and rehabilitation and stress-busting breathing techniques.

"Everybody's journey is different and may change over time," said retired Air Force Brig. Gen. John Pray Jr., executive vice president, USO. "Our goal is to be there with you at every step of that journey, to take care of you and your needs as you move toward a full and rewarding life."

Attendees were encouraged to share their experiences, both the joys and challenges of being a caregiver.

Ed and Karen Matayka know firsthand what caregivers and injured service members go through.

The Mataykas were both Soldier medics on deployment in Afghanistan, when Ed was severely injured after being struck by an improvised explosive device.

"I went from being a Soldier to being a caregiver in a split second. It was the scariest and most horrifying transition in my entire life," Karen said.

She talked about how they both deal with the stress of Ed's injuries.

"I'm not back to a normal life yet," Ed said. "It never goes back to normal. Now the struggle for us is finding out what the new normal is."

Ed talked about how their roles have changed and how much time they spend together.

"I don't think human beings are meant to spend so much time together in the same room," he joked. "But you really find out as a couple what your strengths and weaknesses are when you have to spend so much time together."

Children's author and entertainer Trevor Romain shared some of his experiences working with children around the world.

He then called on Shilo and Kathreyn Harris to talk about how Shilo's injury affected their children.

Their daughter, Elizabeth, was 4 years old when Shilo was injured. In 2007, he was severely burned when the vehicle he was riding in struck an roadside bomb.

"I didn't have answers for her," Kathreyn said. "There are some days we still don't have the answers.

"But, we listen to her, validate her feelings and let her know it's OK to be mad or frustrated," Kathreyn explained.

The conference concluded with a panel discussion featuring Susan Thomas, vice president, USO Warrior and Family Care; Gabriele Dias, director of the Fort Sam Houston Soldier and Family Assistance Center; Nate Smith, executive director of Hire Heroes USA; and Ann Alvarez, military service coordinator, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs Benefits Administration.

Krissy and Joey Banegas attended the conference to see what resources were available to help them.

"I would have liked a little more information on counseling," Krissy said. "It's a little bit harder for us because [Joey] is retired."

Krissy said she wanted to know about programs that help retired service members and their spouses.

Ronnie Cantrell came to the conference because his wife is a wounded warrior and he is her caregiver.

"It's tough. I'm the guy and typically the guy is the breadwinner of the house, but I'm not the breadwinner my wife is even though she's retired," Cantrell explained.

"I take care of her. I wanted to see what help there is for me, so that I can help her."

Cantrell said the conference gave him a great sense of camaraderie.

"You as a caregiver are an integral part of our Soldiers success," said Lt. Col. Brian Almquist, commander, Warrior Transition Battalion. "They can't succeed if you don't take care of yourself."