FORT BRAGG, N.C. - In one of the most televised and nationally debated cases of spousal abuse, defense attorneys didn’t deny the presence of violence between O.J. Simpson and his estranged wife, Nicole Brown. Stalking, gun threats, beatings and breaking and entering often led Brown to complain about lack of police intervention. Her murder on June 12, 1994, led prosecutor Scott Gordon to say, “Simpson was killing Nicole for years " she finally died on June twelfth.”
A jury found Simpson innocent of her death and that of her friend, Ron Goldman, in a widely-televised criminal trial. Simpson was later found liable for their wrongful deaths in a civil suit.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 85 percent of intimate partner victims are female and many of the abusers are male. Although most instances go unreported to police, the emotional and physical consequences are staggering. Of citizens seeking counseling, more than 18.5 million of these mental health visits are the result of violence in the home. Each year, intimate partner violence costs American taxpayers in excess of $5.8 billion.
Since Oct. 1, 2010, the Fort Bragg Family Advocacy Program has received over 1,655 allegations of adult and child abuse cases. According to Yolanda Serrano, social work supervisor for the Domestic Abuse Division at Womack Army Medical Center, most of these cases involve new Families.
The Fort Bragg Department of Social Work interviews alleged abusers and victims, helping to design a treatment plan for each situation with the goal of ending violence in the home.
“Domestic violence does not tend to happen in a vacuum. It typically starts with subtle messages and behaviors such as controlling what a victim eats/wears/says and may grow into major incidents of physical violence, sexual assault and/or emotional abuse,” said Serrano.
Fears of an affair or outside friendships can also initiate abuse, which result in an attitude of you-made-me-do-it. Regardless of the reason, the result is a feeling of walking on eggshells and a sense of helplessness, added Serrano.
“The mental processes of an offender are irrational at times. Therefore, it may appear to a victim that an offender’s behavior is unpredictable,” she explained.
Gavin De Becker, in his book The Gift of Fear: And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence, calls this the punishment and reward factor. An abuser delivers both the high and low moments " the worse the abuse, the better the ‘normal’ or calm moments seem in contrast. A victim is taught to appreciate the honeymoon or ideal version of a partner, and to expect it to come back around regardless of the severity of the abuse. This sense of hope is what keeps the offender in control, driving the progression of abuse. Becker wrote that a victim’s sense of well-being is at the mercy of another person and, for different reasons, this becomes an addictive feeling for both partners.
According to Becker, who grew up in an abusive home, the presence of abuse is an unnatural component of the Family dynamic. It forces Family members to choose between the safety of a Family, or home environment (which we inherently believe to be true) and the natural instinct to flee a dangerous situation.
Serrano, who works with Fort Bragg Families, described a sense of co-dependency that results from remaining in a violent relationship with no indication of change. This idea that an abuser can stop, without intervention, can lead to increasing violence and even death. In cases of abuse or co-abuse, it is important that each person take responsibility for his or her actions, and that steps be taken to build a solid foundation for the relationship. Some Families will need more guidance and support than others.
“It is common for a victim to put his/her needs second and prioritize what he/she conceives as the needs of the offender. As a result, a victim will tend to seek help for the offender. In these cases, DSW clinicians help the victim prioritize his/her needs and safety,” said Serrano.
In 2002, Fort Bragg made national headlines in the wake of five domestic homicide cases. Four Army spouses were murdered by their husbands within a six-week timeframe " one stabbed his estranged wife 50 times before setting fire to their home. Another spouse shot and killed her sleeping husband (many of the cases involved Soldiers within the special operations community). It raised questions about the use of violence in a military profession, and the ability to refrain from that violence in a personal conflict. The military took a closer look at the mental and emotional health of its Soldiers, who engage in high-risk, high-adrenaline scenarios at a higher rate than most civilian counterparts.
In October 2010, the military launched a domestic violence awareness campaign to highlight services for Families who struggle with abuse. Officials urged everyone within the Army Family to take responsibility for alleviating the problem, and it is this show of support that has the greatest opportunity to turn the tide.
Robin Spann, victim advocate coordinator for the Army Community Service Family Advocacy Program, stated that many incidents start as a verbal disagreement and escalate to physical force. “We see hitting (slapping, punching), biting, kicking, strangulation (choking) … we see household items thrown at individuals as well as household items used to assault a person (frying pans, phones, clothes hangers, vases, etc.),” said Spann.
Sometimes a sexual assault is reported. Other times, a physical assault involves a child who either witnesses the violence or tries to intervene on the behalf of one parent.
Social workers like Serrano and her staff rely on therapeutic techniques (both individual and group sessions) to help Families heal and to give victims the tools for self-empowerment.
(Editor’s note: This is part one of a two-month series on domestic abuse.)
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