This could change your life forever -guaranteed or your money back! Ready to become everything you already think you aren't' Follow these tips and prepare to reap a tremendous harvest.

Tip 1 - Incorporate the "5 Year Rule"

One key to controlling our negative stress is to have a realistic expectation of others. Steven Covey portrays this nicely in his concept of "Win-Win," in which one looks at entering into a mindset that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all interactions with others.

This as opposed to having the thought that everyone and everything exists for our convenience or purpose. This thinking, when our expectations are not met, will ultimately lead to frustration, anger and ultimately stress. Thoughts like these lock us into emotionalizing rather than rational engagement.

When in a situation of disagreement, dissatisfaction or even offense, ask this question of yourself, "Will this ultimately matter in five years'" The answer may lead to a more insightful perspective of the situation.

Tip 2 - Protect Yourself from Abuse

Being emotionally victimized, especially at work, is no fun. While we may not possess the power to change a work environment, we can gain freedom from mistreatment with a simple change in perspective and attitude.

In his book "Yes You Can!," author Sam Deep describes a unique method in which we are to pity our attackers. Says Deep, "Once you are able to feel sorry for them for having such awful lives that they need to treat you badly, you can free yourself emotionally from the effects of their mistreatment."

Remember that you don't have to be close with everyone; just being polite goes a long way toward getting along and appropriately dealing with difficult people.

Tip 3 - Don't Wait until

the Midnight Hour

One of the most heartbreaking observations that I have made in my everyday conversations with people is the tendency in our human nature to put off living. We go off on frequent daydreams to the "Garden of Eden" so to speak, of the far off horizon-instead of enjoying the tomatoes that are growing in the garden right outside of our windows.

"How strange it is, our little procession of life" wrote Stephen Leacock. "The child says: 'When I am a big boy.' But what is that' The big boy says: 'When I grow up.' And then, grown up, he says: 'When I get married.' But to be married, what is that after all' The thought changes to 'When I'm able to retire." And then, when retirement comes, he looks back over the landscape traversed; a cold wind seems to sweep over it; somehow he has missed it all, and it is gone. Life, we learn too late, is in the living, in the tissue of every day and hour."

Tip 4 - Expect less of Others

A friend of mine recently showed me a beautiful blue topaz set she had gotten from her husband "just because;" the set included a ring, a necklace and a pair of earrings. "I had no idea" she said pleasantly surprised, "that he would go this far!" Her smile told me that the gift was an unexpected, but welcome, addition to her jewelry set. (The corresponding contrast to this would be to give more of you to others.)

Tip 5 - Apply your Heart to Instruction

As a former non-commissioned officer in the United States Army, I lived the motto, "Be, Know, Do." The secret to the releasing the power of this motto was in the revelation, that is, if you change what you know, you will ultimately change what you do and what you can be; therefore, make it a priority to gain wisdom.

The proverbs say, "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures."

Do this and one can be entitled richly with a good name, one can walk in the steps of being esteemed, whose heart will be glad and whose inner being will rejoice. It really does not get any more magical than that, I promise.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, therefore claim this New Year and prepare to conquer; that is unless you have already made other plans...

Author's Note: The Employee Assistance Program (EAP) is a job-based program designed to help employees, and their Family members whenever feasible, with problems that may affect their well-being and their ability to do their jobs. To schedule an appointment, e-mail Ramon Maisonet at ramon.m.maisonet@us.army.mil or call (270) 412-6883.

Page last updated Thu January 20th, 2011 at 16:02