FORT SILL, Okla.-- Social media has changed the way the world communicates, receives news, plays games and keeps in contact with family and friends and Facebook is the most popular social media in the world.
With a worldwide membership of close to 600 million, Facebook has changed the way we do things on the Web.
To learn how to use Facebook and keep your family relationships healthy, join Jason and Kelli Krafsky, the husband and wife team and authors of the book, "Facebook and Your Marriage," for two free sessions Nov. 13 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Fort Sill Welcome and Conference Center.
The seminar is broken into two sessions: one for couples and one for parents about social media and your relationships. The workshops are "Let's Get it On! Having a Facebook Affair With Your Spouse," from 9 a.m. to noon, and "How to be Your Kid's Facebook Friend and Parent Too," from 1-4 p.m.
This seminar, which is free and open to the public, is another part of the training opportunities offered through Army Community Service's Family Advocacy Program, said Leslie Watts, FAP program specialist.
"Attendees are invited to attend one or both of the workshops, which are intended to help you and your family set up appropriate boundaries to safeguard you and your relationships when using social media."
Watts said the seminar is a continuum of the prevention and education classes FAP offers to ensure Army families have the tools to be resilient individuals and families. "This seminar teaches skills to navigate through the issues stemming from inappropriate use of Facebook and other social media sites. The seminar will teach participants how to keep from creating marital strife and firewalls in their relationships through awareness and setting boundaries," said Watts.
"Contrary to popular opinion, Facebook itself is not the threat to marriages. Couples not talking about their Facebook experiences are how the problems start and the longer they delay discussing it, the greater the risk to their marriage," said Jason Krafsky, who has been involved with premarital education or counseling for more than a dozen years and is familiar with how to do marriage right. "Over time, without agreed upon boundaries, many Facebookers can find their marriages in the danger zone."
Avid Facebookers themselves, the Krafskys sort of stumbled upon the widespread need for their book and seminars. During 2009, they posted several articles on their blog, including their most popular, "Is Facebook a Cyber-Threat to Your Marriage'" The response, they said, was overwhelming and heartbreaking, but the content led to writing the book, "Facebook and Your Marriage."
"Emotional affairs are the slippery slope that can lead to infidelity. Many people say they didn't realize it was leading to an affair but how does someone fall into having an affair' Facebook, more than any other Internet or social media, puts you in touch with people from our past and it does something to the brain that releases pleasure sensations. People don't realize how important it is to set boundaries about what we will use and what we won't use Facebook for," he said. "The main point is to proactively protect yourself and your family."
Other issues to be discussed at the seminar include: privacy and security matters; how to use different features on Facebook; how to handle difficult Facebook friends; romancing your spouse with Facebook; and setting boundaries for your children with Facebook.
"With whole families now participating in the same online social community, too much is at stake to just throw the kids on Facebook and hope for the best. Good parenting is part trust, part rule maker, and part rule enforcer. As parents, not only do we need to figure out what rules need to be made between the child and parent, but between the siblings as well and then figure out what the potential consequences are," said Kelli.
"Teens sometimes post things that make you blush. They use profanity and they forget that everyone who they have friended can see it. We'll talk about privacy settings, too. If you make a comment on someone's wall, their friends can see what you say too," said Kelli. "My biggest thing that I'm trying to start from the roots up is that if your teen still lives at home and is on Facebook, you need to be on Facebook. There's just way too many ways to damage your family reputation."
In an online community, all those boundaries don't physically exist. So it's real easy to accept, interact and spend time with someone online in a way you wouldn't normally do offline, said Jason. "We realized that this creates a blind spot on Facebook for lots of people and they don't know about it and won't be prepared for it."
Many people don't realize the impact their social media interactions have on their real world experiences. Young Facebook users may not be aware of the long-term effects of their social interactions and it's up to the parents to help teach these lessons, Jason said. "These days when you're looking for employment a lot of employers are looking you up on Facebook. These are things parents need to be concerned about."
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