Crystal Clear: Out of sight, out of mind' Not for mom

By Crystal Lewis Brown, Fort Jackson LeaderSeptember 24, 2009

Out of sight, out of mind' Not for mom
(Photo Credit: U.S. Army) VIEW ORIGINAL

FORT JACKSON, S.C. -- Earlier this month, my husband and I went on a cruise. It was four days of baby-free fun and sun, with a little stop in Mexico. We had nothing to do but eat, sleep and be responsibility free for four whole days.

Not surprisingly, I accomplished that with no problem. What was surprising, however, was that I actually missed not having the opportunity to take care of my son.

When I was pregnant, I'd listen as friends recounted sad tales of leaving their babies overnight for the first time. I wouldn't even try to hide my eyes rolling as they got teary eyed talking about how difficult it was to leave the little one. More than one of them waited until the child was a toddler before allowing overnight visits alone, even with grandparents.

"That will never be me," I'd always say. My friends would simply smirk and give each other knowing looks, as if to indicate that I had a lot to learn.

There was no reason to think that I'd have trouble going four days without holding my baby boy. He'd already spent two nights at grandma's while the hubby and I stayed at a downtown Atlanta hotel for a class reunion weekend. And just a couple of weeks ago, he spent the night with a friend who volunteered to babysit while we attended a comedy show.

So what made this time different'

I wasn't worried that my mom would not be able to care for him. Besides the more than 30 years of experience she had with my brothers, sister and me, I'd left her a detailed list of the baby's meal times, snacks and usual nap times.

I was also sure to point out which toys he liked best, plucked two pillows from the bed for her to place around him when he played on the floor (to protect him from her hardwood floors in case he fell over) and placed all of his outfits in neat stacks (play clothes, church clothes, pajamas, extras for the diaper bag) to ensure that he had enough coordinated outfits to last him the entire trip.

The day of the cruise, we kissed the baby goodbye and made our way onboard to partake in the first of several buffets. But it wasn't long before the baby crept into my mind. At dinner, a baby let out a piercing scream similar to my own child's playful yelp. While unpacking the backpack for our shore excursion, my husband came across one of the baby's socks. Later, we saw a baby wearing the exact swim outfit we have for our son.

While I didn't miss changing diapers or fighting with him as I tried to put pureed carrots in his mouth, I missed kissing his chubby cheeks before putting him to bed each night.

While I enjoyed not having to schedule a sitter weeks in advance so we could go to the late-night show, I missed hearing his hearty laugh.

And though I relished the chance to stay in bed as late as I wanted, I missed seeing his broad grin first thing in the morning when I wakened him with a kiss.

Did I enjoy my vacation' Of course. The time I was able to spend with my husband was invaluable and necessary. But I would be lying if I didn't say that my heart quickened in anticipation as I stood in the customs line, knowing I was only moments away from seeing my boy.

On television, when people go on vacation, they bring back souvenirs for their friends and loved ones. But this time, for me, the best souvenir was the one I got from my son when I opened the car door after departing the ship - his smile.