CRYSTAL CLEAR:Friendship part of suicide prevention

By Crystal Lewis Brown, Fort Jackson LeaderAugust 27, 2009

CRYSTAL CLEAR:  Friendship part of suicide prevention
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FORT JACKSON, S.C. -- About a month after my husband and I arrived at Fort Jackson, I got a phone call from one of my former co-workers.

"Are you sitting down'" she asked.

Another one of our co-workers, whom I'd come to know as a friend, had committed suicide, she told me.

She went on to tell me the details - how he didn't show up for work that day, where they found him - but I was already mentally asking myself how suicide could be possible.

"Are you sure it was suicide'" I kept asking her. "Maybe it was an accident."

But it wasn't.

For weeks afterward, I couldn't stop thinking about him. What could we have done' Is there something we missed' How could this have been prevented'

I think these are the questions that go through the minds of many of us who have been affected, directly or indirectly, by suicide. And as National Suicide Prevention Week nears, I have found myself thinking about my friend more and more.

On television, when someone commits suicide, the sound bites we often hear are, "I'm so shocked," or, "I would never think he/she was capable of suicide."

What those snippets leave out is that anyone is capable of suicide, and it is up to us - friends, loved ones, family and co-workers - to do our part to make sure it doesn't happen to someone close to us.

Don't get me wrong - you can't prevent someone who is thinking about committing suicide from going through with it. But you can watch out for the warning signs and take action.

A friend of mine explained how in college, she attempted suicide. The stresses of college life were overwhelming, and suicide seemed the only way out. I experienced a similar feeling during my college years. Although I didn't attempt suicide, I did completely withdraw from almost everything for several weeks. And things were starting to seem hopeless.

At the time, I was going through a rocky relationship while juggling my school work and three part-time jobs. For two or three weeks, I did nothing but go to work. I skipped classes, ignored phone calls and refused to open the door. What I didn't know - and what my friends didn't know - was that my withdrawal was a warning sign.

My friend was lucky. She called a friend and told her what she'd done and went to the hospital. I was lucky. A caring professor and my friends were concerned enough to make sure I dragged myself out of my dorm and back into the real world.

But others, like my former co-worker, weren't so lucky. And now, still, I am left wondering if his loner attitude was a warning sign I should have picked up on.

If you notice the sudden change in a friend's behavior, or any of the other warning signs of someone who may be contemplating suicide, flat out ask if he or she is thinking of suicide. If you feel overwhelmed or hopeless, tell someone. No one will think any less of you if you admit to having suicidal thoughts, and sharing those feelings are a sign of strength, not weakness.

I wasn't there to help my co-worker and friend, but I hope that you take the time to find out what you can do to help yours.

National Suicide Prevention Week is scheduled for Sept. 6-12.