After more than four years of marriage, I just found out last week what language my husband was speaking.
I don't mean a verbal language, such as English or Spanish, but his "love language."
For the uninitiated, love languages are a concept by pastor and marriage and family life expert, Gary Chapman. In his book, "The Five Love Languages," he identifies five "languages" that can help couples communicate better. My husband and I found out our love languages when we had the opportunity to attend a Strong Bonds marriage retreat with the 171st Infantry Brigade last week.
It may come as a surprise to some of my friends and coworkers, but I am, more often than not, high strung. I also have a short attention span. So when my husband said we had been invited to attend a marriage retreat, I cannot say that I agreed without reservation.
My hesitation was more about me than the actual program -- how could I be gone from work for one full day' Would I, a person who admittedly can't sit still long enough to watch a half-hour sitcom without getting up, be able to sit through a whole day of classes'
The retreat was a couple of hours away in Charleston, and once we reached the hotel, my reticence had been replaced by anticipation. Col. Karl Reed, brigade commander, Chaplain (Lt. Col.) Harry Reed, brigade chaplain and Capt. Christopher Letsinger, brigade logistics officer, were among the many Soldiers and civilians who worked up-to-the minute to make sure the weekend went off without a hitch. And that it did.
I can't say for sure if it was the excitement about the romantic dinner planned for us that Thursday night or if it was warm personalities of the two child care providers on-hand, but I had no qualms in leaving my 6-month-old at the hotel while we adults headed out for the evening.
Chaplain Reed said the purpose of having the dinner was to set the mood for the next day, and after enjoying a four-course dinner, I can say he was right.
After breakfast the next day, we all settled into our seats, notepads in many of our hands, prepared for the class to begin. Imagine our surprise when we found ourselves batting beach balls around the room and passing pretzels to each other using only drinking straws.
These icebreakers were just one way Chaplain (Maj.) James Smith kept us excited throughout the day's program. Though he used a book and its accompanying videos and workbook to teach us about our love languages, his energy, humor and honest personal anecdotes made it seem less like sitting through a class, and more like sharing ideas with friends.
I won't share with you my love language, nor my husband's, but I will say knowing each other's language makes it easier for us to accommodate each other's needs.
Could we have purchased the book and learned these things on our own' Of course. But I am grateful that we had the chance to attend the retreat. Whether you are newly married, or going on 25 years, if you get the opportunity to attend such a retreat, take it. If for no other reason, it forces you to leave behind your daily stressors and focus on just being a couple.
On the way back from Charleston, I read a sign that asked, "What have you done for your marriage today'"
If you don't have an answer for that, sign up for a Strong Bonds program. You will be glad you did.
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