FORT EUSTIS, Va. (July 8, 2009) -- Being around the military and trying to have some form of normality is hard enough on a day-to-day basis with so many challenges to deal with, like deployments and moving every so often. So, as if having my husband and son both deployed at the same time to two different countries doesn't add a challenge to my life, let's throw in helping plan a wedding, too. My son, Jonathan, proposed to his long-time girlfriend and high school sweetie, Kristin, and are getting married in November during his deployment mid-tour leave.
Now, planning any wedding can be difficult regardless of how big or small it is, military or non-military, but when you are connected to the military, there are extra factors that need to be considered. For example, location, who can perform the ceremony, and of course, let's not forget the important part, who in the wedding party and immediate family is available on that date.
Kristin decided she wanted a fall wedding; in fact, she chose the date of what will be their fourth year together. At first this was good; my son was not scheduled to deploy until November and by then my husband would be back from his deployment. Easy, right' Nope. The Army changed plans for Jonathan's unit and moved their deployment up to April. Not only are those two deployed, the best man deployed at the last minute this past weekend. The broher of the bride, who is also military, is moving to a new duty station in September, far from the bride. There are also other groomsmen who are military too.
Now, of course you have to find someone to perform the ceremony. Luckily a friend from a former assignment, who happens to be a chaplain, is now stationed at the same installation as my son, and he is going to perform the service.
The best part is, luckily for me, my soon-to-be daughter-in-law is extremely organized and has most of the plans under control, and she is just waiting for the big day to get here. In fact, the two biggest things lately have been tying up the loose ends with getting the invitations and trying to get the guest list down to 150 people.
Let me explain that with the exception of the bride, her mother, step-dad, brother and sister, the rest of her family and the groom's family are sprawled out among several states. So, just being able to get those needed for planning purposes together to accomplish anything, like helping the bride pick out her dress, is not an easy feat.
With today's technology and the Internet at our fingertips; Kristin has been able to do lots of research on many Web sites for checklists to help manage what needs to happen within certain time frames; so having a schedule to follow has helped. She bought a wedding planning book and then took what she needed from it and created her own organized binder to meet her needs.
Most book stores sell a variety of planning books that can help keep you organized. Also, several Web sites, like www.theknot.com, have loads of information for wedding planning; everything from checklists to reception ideas. Another Web site that Kristin is using is www.ewedding.com.
This site not only has loads of information as well, but she also set up a personal Web site for her and the groom so those in the wedding party and the guests can view information about the big event to include what hotels are in the area and where the couple is registered for gifts.
Although the reception is at a club and the staff is doing the basic set up, our biggest dilemmas are who is going to do the decorating the day of the wedding, how to make sure the vendors get to the reception site on time, who is picking up the flowers, and all the other little details that need to be done the day of the ceremony. With the wedding at 3:30 p.m. and the reception starting at 5 p.m., I know there is no way the bride, her mother, I, and others would have time to set up plus get ready for the big day.
Now to me, the only thing the bride needs to worry about on her wedding day is getting ready and being on time; so, I suggested a wedding planner. At first Kristin was not fond of the idea, mostly because it was another added expense. Plus, when most people think of wedding planners they think of a huge expense, and someone who is doing all the planning and leg work for you. I finally asked her to see what she could find, that it was probable to find someone who would help out the last couple months by tying up loose ends and making sure that everything was done the day of the wedding.
Kristin did some research and found a fabulous wedding planner at a very reasonable price. Most wedding planners offer a variety of packages ranging from assisting you from the very beginning to helping out just before the big day; mainly assisting with tying up loose ends to being there for the big day so you don't have to worry about the details.
We met with the planner, Marlene, and she was great from the start. She wasn't pushy about getting us to sign a contract with her; she wanted to hear all we had accomplished and what else needed to be done. She listened to our questions and concerns, and because Kristin had already done so much of the leg work, Marlene said she would help plan the rehearsal dinner at no additional cost.
Some advantages to having a wedding planner are, they usually know which of the vendors and are good to work with and which are not. In our case, with the exception of the photographer, she knows all of those we have chosen to use for the big day. This helps because she knows how they work and they know her. Another plus we discovered about using a wedding planner are discounts. The wedding planner was able to show Kristin a number of wedding invitations on behalf of many companies. Kristin finally found one she loved and because she is using a company the wedding planner works with, she received a 15 percent discount on her invitations. Some other incentives to using a wedding planner include negotiating prices for flowers, cake and limos. Wedding planners can usually get the vendors down to a more reasonable price. Also, usually, the wedding planner will attend any meetings you have with your vendors. This helps the wedding planner understand what you have asked for and on the day of the ceremony if something is wrong the wedding planner will know and get it fixed.
I will say that choosing a wedding planner has been a big relief for all of us. It has helped us breath better, and I think overall it will be a more enjoyable event all around. Now the only hard parts left for me are to find a dress to wear for the big day and watch my son get married.
Social Sharing