No Ozzy, suicide is not the solution

By Ms. Carrie E David (SMDC/ARSTRAT)February 24, 2009

(Photo Credit: U.S. Army) VIEW ORIGINAL

Life is hard.

Sometimes it is our own actions that bring unbearable pain and heartache to our lives. Sometimes the unthinkable is visited on us by someone else. Either way, life is hard, and each one of us deals with intolerable pain at some point.

And each year, more than 32,000 Americans commit suicide, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.

For the person who commits suicide, his or her pain is ended, but does the pain really go away' Or does that suffering merely shift to those left behind' According to Ozzy Osborne's 1980s song "Suicide Solution," when life gets too hard, "suicide is the only way out; don't you know what it's really about'"

Friends and family members who survive a suicide victim are often left wondering how they missed the signs and what they could have done to help. I know. I'm someone who survived a suicide victim.

In January 2007, on the heels of the holidays, I was trying to get back in the swing of getting the paper I edited to our publisher by deadline. I spoke with my coworker Harvey, who worked as a liaison between our paper and the publisher, on Tuesday to tell him the amount of space I would need for this first issue of the new year.

We were actually off work that day because it was New Year's Day, and I spoke to Harvey from home. I have replayed that conversation over and over in my mind, wondering what I missed.

The next day was deadline day, and I was still waiting on my page count so that I could finish the paper. I called and called Harvey. He wasn't answering his phone, so I called the production manager to see if she knew where he was. I could tell from the tension in her voice that something was terribly wrong. You see, Harvey had not called in, and no one could get in touch with him.

This was not his normal behavior. Normally Harvey could be described as high-strung, but he was also loyal, helpful, dependable, sweet, good-natured, and many other good things. Vanishing was not something he usually did.

The production manager and I talked several more times throughout the day, but still, there was no word from Harvey. As the last page of the paper was dropping on the server, my phone rang. It was our production manager.

She told me that they had been so worried they sent an employee to Harvey's house to check things out. While passing a church near his home, this person spotted Harvey's truck sitting there. What was pieced together from the note he left and his actions is that Harvey was worried that no one would come to his home to check on him, so he shot himself in the head in the church parking lot. And, he apologized "for the mess he made."

Harvey was a quiet man. He was in his 50s and unmarried. He had no financial problems, no negative work actions pending, and no secret, hidden life.

There were dozens of people who cared for this man. His parents were still living, and he had siblings. What signs did we miss' How did we allow our friend and family member to get so depressed that the only way he could see out of his pain was through suicide'

It's been more than two years since that day. I still think of him often. I wish I had known the signs of suicide. Perhaps, I would have been better able to pick up on something in his voice or something he said, and maybe have been able to help him through his trying times.

There are situations where a friend or family member can help someone they love who might be contemplating suicide. But you have to know the signs to be able to help.

Find out what the signs are by participating in the U.S. Army Space and Missile Defense Command/Army Forces Strategic Command's suicide awareness and prevention training. This training - designed to help Soldiers and Department of the Army civilians recognize the signs of an impending suicide - is part of the Army's three-phase approach to increasing suicide awareness. The introductory phase was an awareness class that concluded on March 13. The second phase, chain teaching, will be conducted March 15 through July 15. The third phase will be an ongoing effort of sustainment.

Carrie.Ford@smdc.army.mil

Some warning signs that someone may be considering suicide are:

* Comments that suggest thoughts or plans of suicide.

* Rehearsal of suicidal acts.

* Giving away possessions.

* Obsession with death, dying, etc.

* Uncharacteristic behaviors (e.g., reckless driving, excessive drinking, stealing).

* Significant change in performance.

* Appearing overwhelmed by recent stressor(s).

* Depressed mood; hopelessness.

* Withdrawal from social activities.